If you were watching the Phillies game on FOX with the sound on yesterday, besides being very brave, you got to hear a story as told by pint-sized reporter Ken Rosenthal explaining how Pedro Martinez had the gall to carry around a bag with the Mets logo on it for road trips. Obviously, a couple guys in the locker room took exception to Pedro’s choice of accessory, and made him get rid of it.

Kenny Albert then asked Rosenthal to retell the semi-amusing anecdote during the broadcast, so he did.

V e r y s l o w l y:

A little black bag, kind of for his personal effects. It had a Mets logo on it, the Phillies took notice of this and basically ordered him to dump it. Which he did. And he said to Jimmy Rollins — actually shouted — “You’re my witness.”

Rollins replied, “Cut the umbilical cord.”

So you thought — well, the scene might be over, but Shane Victorino took the bag out of the garbage, mounted it on top of the television set, the big screen TV in the Phillies clubhouse, and he told Pedro to burn it.

I don’t think anyone is giving Ken the ‘Storyteller of the Year’ award anytime soon, so we never found out if he actually burned it or not. Or why Shane put the bag on top of a big screen TV before telling him to set it on fire, but hey — it was informative nonetheless.

After the jump, check out a couple screenshots of eccentric Pedro’s bullpen antics from this weekend, as well as the brand-spanking-new Birdland x The Fightins t-shirt honoring the 3-time Cy Young Award winner.

Here’s Pedro on Friday night, trying to get a better look at the game by creating a makeshift telescope out of his hand:

And here he is yesterday playing with scissors:

Just don’t cut your hair, Pedro. Because then our new t-shirt would be rendered obsolete:

If you need a reference for the shirt, kill yourself.

Sorry. What I meant to say was, watch this:

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