Don’t fack with Chan Ho Park.

“The suit claims Park loaned Kreuter $460,000 in October 2005 to be repaid a year later with interest. Park alleges Kreuter paid back $290,000 in April 2007 and the unpaid balance has grown, with interest, to $281,869.73 as of Dec. 1.”

Hey, Chan Ho! Don’t ever lend 460,000 of anything (let alone our weak-ass national fiat currency) to anyone. If you fail to heed my sound advice, make sure that when you get the promissory note signed, witnessed and notarized, that it’s on paper that is safe for septic systems.

What’s going to happen is this: dude won’t pay you back like promised, you’re going to sue, AP will pick up the story, and some smart-ass on the internet is going to open his Google Reader a week after the story has gone cold. Once this happens, he will use this as an opportunity to tell you to get your head out of your ass and re-sign with the Phillies as a reliever.

In related news, I think Chan Ho Park should take his head out of his ass and re-sign with the Phillies as a reliever. And maybe Amaro should just promise him the opportunity to fight for a starting job. Just don’t put that in writing, Ruben – he’s litigious.

Mr. Moyer is going under the knife. Again.

So he suffers a groin injury in September, gets surgerized (it’s a word now, bitches) for the first time October 2. Five days later he goes back for another due to a blood infection.

“He seemed to be making progress until he had to go back to the hospital Nov. 24 after complaining of recurring symptoms. During that stay, he had a second surgery, on Nov. 27, after tests showed a small collection of infected blood.”

He is currently taking medication and has a PICC line. PICC stands for “peripherally inserted central catheter.” I’m happy to report that I googled PICC line and it’s not the weener kind of catheter, which is just fucking awful.

Jamie Moyer has been playing long enough that you need a magnifying glass to read the stats on his baseball card, yet he’s never needed surgery until now.

He’s not finished with the in-patient check-in desk just yet. He’s getting some work done on the meniscus in his right knee in January. It’s expected to be pretty expensive, because they don’t make parts for him anymore. Zing.

The Bay signing may set precedent for Werth’s next contract.

As Scott Lauber writes:

“Last season, Werth and Bay tied for the major-league lead among outfielders with 36 home runs. And although Bay drove in more runs (119 to 99), Werth had more stolen bases (20 to 13) and comparable on-base/slugging numbers (Bay: .384/.537; Werth: .373/.506). Bay is 31, Werth is 30. And while Bay has a longer track record for success, Werth is regarded as a late-bloomer given the wrist problems that nearly forced him to retire in 2006. Werth is also a superior defensive outfielder.”

And the Mets just agreed to give Jason Bay $66 thousand over 4 years (pending physical). Everybody with half-a-brain realized back in July that Werth was going to command a pretty penny come free agency. But while the Phillies’ front office has been raking it in while showing a willingness to shed the “cheapskate” image, the big question on the minds of many is will they pay him?

I’ll tell you something – make your peace now with seeing a fan favorite in another uniform by August. Either Werth or Victorino is gone before the summer’s over. One of these guys is getting some serious money to play for the Phillies in 2011, but not both.

I believe Amaro is going to continue to sign quality free agents, and the budget will increase yearly, but I don’t see the faucets just opening full-blast. He sees Moyer’s contract running out, and I don’t think he’ll let both Vic and Jayson walk, but bringing up a prospect and unloading one of the starting OF will free up some dough for next November’s big deal, not to mention whatever we get for a 2x Gold Glove centerfielder or the previously grossly underrated lanky slugger fresh off a breakout season.

Keep in mind, this is speculation and I’m retarded when it comes to business. But certain teams in the AL East have deep pockets, and I’m not so sure about Werth’s feelings on hometown discounts.

In somewhat related news, would you…

Want to hear another prediction?

Sports Illustrated will once again claim the NL East for the Mets in 2010. Because they signed Jason Bay and shit. And Bay will be on the cover of their baseball preview issue, doing a bunny hop with John Maine and Omar Minaya. Big whoop.

I’m being sarcastic, of course, though not about my prediction, but about the NY Mets’ 2010 comeback. Wait – maybe they can do it…

There’s some early LOLMets for you. You’re welcome.

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