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Oct
24
2009
As If You Didn’t Know Already: God Is A Phillies Fan
Posted by Tug Haines at 4:45 pm ET 128 Comments

From PJ Gillam
And He told me Phillies in 5.

Hat tip to PJ Gillam.

      Read More: ,

128 Comments on “As If You Didn’t Know Already: God Is A Phillies Fan”

  1. Joey Merlino Says:

    And who did God say would be the sole winning Yankee pitcher?

  2. Pasadena_Phan Says:

    The dude looks like something out of Monty Python’s Flying Circus! The old guy who struggles to get up to the camera and says “It’s”

  3. Phils Phan Says:

    No, no. It’s the guy who was stoned for saying Jehova.

  4. Lynniemac Says:

    No, it’s the guy who’s not dead yet and would like to take a walk.

  5. Griswold Says:

    YOU’RE MY BOY, BLUE!

  6. Gonzo Says:

    ALCS Game 6 postponed til tomorrow.

  7. Phils Phan Says:

    Actually, I think it’s the guy who formed the Judean Popular Front.

    SPLITTER!

  8. Gonzo Says:

    No No! It’s that guy, from that one movie…

  9. Bridge to Lidge Says:

    False alarm. It’s just Jamie Moyer’s brother

  10. John Says:

    Bridge to Lidge-no it isnt its Jaime Moyer’s SON

  11. Brandon Says:

    Younger brother of course

  12. Gonzo Says:

    It’s Elvis.

  13. Fightins Newbie Says:

    Its funny this is posted. I saw this guy flash across the screen and wondered if I was seeing things….after it flashed across, I had this urge to go to church…go figure.

  14. Alexander Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vheY65Y8Kmc

    This somehow feels like a good breakdown of the potential Yankees/Phillies matchup, right down to the color schemes. Bugs is a Phillie.

  15. stealth Says:

    I just loive these so called Yankee fans..saying they will beat the Phils in four and that it wont be close…and that their pitching is going to pulvrize our hitters,even some sports writers saying it. lmao..they’re not even in the World Series yet and they say that shit. Unbelievable. When will the Phils get the respect they deserve? Part of me wants the Angels to beat them to shut them up and part of me wants a Phillies/Yankees World Series to really shut them up. GO PHILS!!!!!!

  16. Lynniemac Says:

    @Phils Phan: Was it the Judean People’s Front or the People’s Front of Judea?

  17. Rachael Ray Says:

    As sure as I wear adult onesies, the Yankees will be in the World Series. Are the bandwagon fans of Philadelphia really that stupid to think the Yankees won’t clinch on Sunday night? C’mon Phillly, get real. I can’t wait for A-Rod and Tex to come down to CBP and blast 490 foot homeruns. In fact, I am predicting that A-Rod hits a homerun that will land in the window of Tony Luke’s. It’s going to blast some fat, uneducated, “wudder” drinking, blue-collar asshole right in the frickin base of his skull, instantly putting him into a coma, whereupon, his chubby cheeks and six chins will fall forward into a pile of $9.00 grease, fat and cheese that you retards call a “cheesesteak.” Some other fine citizen of Philadelphia will instantly pull fireworks out of his backpack, shoot them at everyone wearing the same jersey he is wearing, and then he’ll go into the parking lot and tip some cars. Following his arrest, he’ll be bonded out by some guy he used to know from the Mummer’s, and he’ll go home to his rowhome whereupon he will put some Rita’s “wudder”-ice on his skull. By then, game 4 will be over and the Yankees will have completed their sweep of Philadelphia. Chase Utley and Cole Hamels will retreat to southern California where they will whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ears after they part their girl-ish long hair out of the way. They will talk about how they can rescue dogs and pitch shitty products until next April. Pedro and Moyer will spend every Sunday driving around south Jersey looking for 55+ developments and Uncle Chollie will call it quits. The Yanks will eventually sign Howard and use him as a DH because the Phillies won’t be able to afford him after 2011. When everyone stops going to the ballpark next year, things will look as they did for the last 10 years; 9,000 fans per game, losing records, etc. Last but certainly not least, the population of Philadelphia will dramatically decrease as all of the bandwagon fans will leave town and move to the Bronx.

  18. Gonzo Says:

    Meech, if you were wondering where all the clicks were gonna be during this long wait, I think your answer is right here.

  19. b-burg Says:

    @Rachel Ray
    You need to be in the World Series to talk shit, finish off the Halos then come back.

  20. dan48 Says:

    wow rachel, im impressed

  21. Brian Says:

    Rachel Ray is a first class moron

  22. Rachael Ray Says:

    That’s right, Gonzo. The clicks will be right here, and not on your sorry ass “Major League Jerk” site. By the way, that’s an awfully cute picture of a dog you have on there. It must be one of the dogs that Chase and Cole are whispering about, huh? Bunch of butt pirates…. Any chance Shane Victorino can get in that congo line of butt pirates? I’ll provide the step stool.

    b-burg; I guess you’re a pro at shit-talking since you’ve been able to do it exactly once since 1980?

    Thank you, dan48. I will be here until November 1st, when the Yanks wrap-up their final win of 2009.

  23. Rachael Ray Says:

    Brian,

    Thank you for your input.

    Rachael

  24. John Says:

    lol rachael, what are u gonna say if we prove u wrong?

  25. Gabrielle Says:

    butt pirates! haven’t heard that one since 6th grade.

  26. stealth Says:

    WOW! Did I strike a nerve?…lol Rachael..that was Awesome!!!

  27. The Grump Says:

    at least at our ballpark, a “fat, uneducated, wudder-thinking, blue-collar asshole” can afford to come to a game. how much fun can you really have at a game when your entire stadium is filled with dumb fucking yuppies?

  28. b-burg Says:

    @Rachel Ray

    haven’t talked shit yet, if I recall the Phils have the current red flag flying right?
    http://phillyskyline.com/misc/wallpaper_081102_2008flag.jpg

    I think your mom is calling you, and you need to go to bed.

  29. chub chaser Says:

    rachelray-

    you’re getting a little fat..but i mean i’d still do you

  30. Rachael Ray Says:

    John, is that the best you can come up with? “what are u gonna say if we prove you wrong?” When you reach an educational level beyond that of a 10 y.o., hit me up again. Until then, remember to salt the fries.

    Gabrielle, yeah, it’s been a while, huh? I’ll be on the corner of 7th, near the parking lot, selling my “C & C Butt Pirate Factory” shirts. (John, C&C stands for Chase & Cole)

    Stealth, thank you. As I said earlier, I will be here until November 1st, when the Yanks complete the sweep.

  31. Gonzo Says:

    Wow, I didn’t even insult you and you came at me like gang busters.

  32. stealth Says:

    The Yankees, if they make it, will be in trouble because I heard that Mitch (THE WILD THING) Williams is coming out of retirement for redemption and to show who really has the stronger bullpen.

  33. Rachael Ray Says:

    Thank you, Grump, for proving my point. It’s “wudder” DRINKING….not “wudder thinking.” Good try though. But to address your point, the Phillies need to make their tickets affordable because Philadelphia is a poorman’s New York. If they increased ticket prices, it would look like 1994-2006, when NOBODY gave a shit about the Phillies….or as I like to call it; the “pre-bandwagon era.”

    b-burg, that was dumber than your first comment. Your flag is red because it is in PHILLY. Ugh. Ya know what? You’re too dumb to respond to. Nevermind.

    Chub Chaser… thank you. I have put on a little weight, but that’s because of all the EVOO I use in every meal. In fact, I no longer use milk in my cereal. I’ve switched to EVOO. And yeah, you can do me if you can undo the buttons on my onesie.

  34. Phils Phan Says:

    @ Lynniemac:

    F—k off! Judean People’s Front? We’re the People’s Front of Judea! Wanker.

    :)

  35. Rachael Ray Says:

    Gonzo; you’re right bro. I’m sorry. Your website still sucks though. Shouldn’t have gotten all ghetto on you.

    Stealth; where did you hear that? Was it from the same source that told you that Santa isn’t real? Or was it the guy that told you OJ was guilty? I’m done with you now too. You and b-burg should open a store together. You can call it “We Sell Education”, but you can hang a sign on the door that says “closed for lack of inventory.”

  36. stealth Says:

    Oh Rachael..I was only having fun. Don’t be done with me. It’s all good.

  37. Rachael Ray Says:

    stealth, if you want to have fun, you need to write something fun, or funny, or witty, or intelligent, or worth reading. Your Mitch Williams comment was dumb. Until you prove yourself otherwise, you and I are finished. You are not Jayson Werth-while.
    Adios.

  38. stealth Says:

    Girl you’re rough…ok…Hows this?….If big chested women work at Hooters….where do one legged women work?

  39. Gonzo Says:

    You cannot deny that if it weren’t for Philly, the country wouldn’t have such delicious cream cheese.

  40. stealth Says:

    Amen Gonzo…and Scrapple…and porkroll..oh and lets not forget TastyKakes

  41. Rachael Ray Says:

    One legged women work at ihop. Try again, retard.

  42. stealth Says:

    Oh man..you heard that one..ok I tried.

  43. The Grump Says:

    funny you’re trying to makie fun of the phillies bandwagon. as a yankee fan, have you been in a coma for the entirety of life?

    “If they increased ticket prices, it would look like 1994-2006, when NOBODY gave a shit about the Phillies….or as I like to call it; the “pre-bandwagon era.” you sure you dont mean the legends suite at new yankee stadium?

  44. Rachael Ray Says:

    Gonzo, you’re wrong.

    Kraft Foods, who makes and brands “Philadlephia Cream Cheese,” states that the first cream cheese was made by an American dairyman, William Lawrence. Lawrence was from, and residing in, NEW YORK (home of the Yankees) when he made the first cream cheese in 1872. 8 years later, the name “Philadelphia” was added to cream cheese because someone thought that Philly was considered the home of top quality food. Obviously that person was stealth or b-berg.

    get your shit straight before you attempt to act witty.

  45. stealth Says:

    Hey don’t knock Scrapple until you’ve tried it. That’s fine dining food.

  46. ericvsthem Says:

    My wife took this photo of the scoreboard.. enjoy :)

    unfortunately, she wasn’t able to get a picture of the “Manny is a Kenzo” sign, but you can see a portion of it in the photo.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/prettieworld/4038783846/sizes/l/

  47. illadelph Says:

    don’t feed the trolls…

  48. Rachael Ray Says:

    @ Grump. The Yankees sold $22,000 suites this year, and $2,500 seats, which is nuts. I agree. But ya know what? Even with wacko ticket prices like that, they still had a higher annual attendance than Philly. Zip it, donkey.

  49. Howard Eskin Says:

    Make me a sandwich.

    Imagine, women thinking they know about sports.

  50. Rachael Ray Says:

    what the fuck is scrapple?

  51. Gonzo Says:

    Time’s up, Rachael Ray. Your shtick was cute for a while, but it’s run its course. Thanks for playing.

  52. Rachael Ray Says:

    Gonzo = quitter.

    I’ll be around until next Sunday. Stop by if you want to chat, pigeon.

  53. The Grump Says:

    man rachel ray seems is quite the connoisseur of Kraft foods. what are the chances this is actually the REAL rachael ray. i mean, who else would know that shit?

  54. stealth Says:

    Sucks that game was postponed…nothing else on t.v.

  55. Rachael Ray Says:

    Anyone watching ABC news?!!! Report of DUI for one of the Phillies?

  56. Rachael Ray Says:

    Grump, Wikipedia would know that shit!

  57. Rachael Ray Says:

    someone please tell me what scrapple is?

  58. stealth Says:

    sorry Rachael..it’s really what the name says…scraps of the pig..nothing more..nothing less

  59. The Grump Says:

    lol so you were serious enough about an argument about cheese that you went on wikipedia to get information?

  60. Phils Phan Says:

    @ Rachel:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrapple

  61. Shawn James Says:

    I always knew I liked that guy for some reason… @jesus

    and wow Rachel Ray is going in huh? Do you need a hug?

  62. Rachael Ray Says:

    Wow. Congrats on scrapple, Philadelphia. Your claim to fame isn’t sports, so apparently it must be scrapple. It sounds….ummm…..ahhhh…..yeah. Congrats again Philly, for creating the fine, healthy, food that is scrapple. Well done. Bravo.

  63. Bronx Bomber Says:

    scrapple is nasty shit. If you knew what was in it you would not eat it.

  64. stealth Says:

    Unfortunately Philly cant take credit for that one either…its Pennsylvania Dutch and Amish

  65. Gabrielle Says:

    ohhhh maaa gaaaa scrapple. the reason i wake up everyday. that and butt pirating.

  66. Gonzo Says:

    Scrapple is disgusting. But it sure beats the so-called zingers from Rachael Ray.

  67. ShawnJames Says:

    I don’t think I have ever had scrapple in my life.

  68. stealth Says:

    Wow we must be hard up for some baseball now…talking about Scrapple lol

  69. Gabrielle Says:

    @gonzo i know, she (which ill put money on is a he) isn’t funny or witty at all. sometimes i laugh a bit at the insults non-phils fans post on here, but i’m honestly bored. and disappointed.

    which player got a DUI???

  70. ShawnJames Says:

    I’m gonna bet that Bruntlet got the DUI. He is prob just so depressed with his life right now and how terrible he is he had to go get fucked up.

  71. David Wright Says:

    Watching the news…sounds like someone got a DUI. hope this shit boils over….

  72. Phils Phan Says:

    Inquirer will have it tomorrow.

    It ain’t a talented Phillies team without at least one DUI. Dykstra, et al.

  73. Gonzo Says:

    Eric Bruntlett is a SAINT! He would never do something like that. Although he does get into some fucked up shit..

    http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f43/cab0526/dp2.jpg

  74. ShawnJames Says:

    Lmao. Eric Bruntlett for President!

  75. Tug Haines Says:

    Enjoy Rachael Ray’s work on this thread? Check out more of ‘her’ writing as Bronx Bomber at http://buyingachampionship.com/

  76. maria Says:

    If I had to guess which player got the DUI, Brett Myers. Possibly, even Jayson Werth. I tried looking this news up on Google but couldn’t find anything and am too lazy to really look.

  77. Gonzo Says:

    Tug, thanks for outing him. I wonder why he acts like a douche over here. Because he seems quite levelheaded on his own site (with a few witty jabs, nothing as asshole-y as here though).

    I wonder if Phils fans bombard other sites (like the Mets blogs) the same way their fans come here?

  78. Ryan from LV Says:

    Wow! That website is horrible! haha I actually feel a little bad for the guy now.

  79. BigMiles Says:

    I love how Yanks fans are the “real” fans and all of that shit. Like they would have a fan base if they weren’t good every fucking year.

    I wanted to play the Yanks, but now I want them to get embarrassed at home by the Angels and I want A-Rod to strike out with the bases loaded to end the series. Then I want Fuentes to pull down his pants and take a shit on the mound with both of his middle fingers in the air.

    (If the above scenario doesn’t happen in the NLCS then just insert Phillies for Angels and Lidge for Fuentes).

  80. BigMiles Says:

    Btw is that dui thing for real? I didn’t see any piece of info on it.

  81. Gonzo Says:

    I dont think his site is horrible. It’s just for Yankee fans.

  82. Ryan from LV Says:

    Nah, i think its pretty bad, honestly.

  83. Bridge to Lidge Says:

    Kenny Power’s loves New York at 1:28

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUiOP3-m2oM&feature=related

  84. John Says:

    Rachael Ray- calling me a 10 yr old doesnt answer my question, instead of insulting me over the internet, which is pathetic, why dont u give me an answer

    what are u gonna say if we prove u wrong? answer the question, u seem to have alot to say so id like to hear what excuse u new yorkers would use if u didnt win the world series

  85. stealth Says:

    Yeah I just commented on the sportswriter Terrence Moore and how he said the Yankees were gonna win it all especially with Jeter at the helm and blah! blah! blah! and they are a force and shit. All I said was wait a minute…they still have to get there. So this other jackass jumps on my case and asks if I’m really a Red Sox fan jumping with the Phillies and how the Sox fans just cant lose with dignity and how sorry we are and how the Yankees pitching is going to pulverize the Phillies hitters lmao. I told him he was probably a disgruntled Mets fan. By the way Rachael called me a retard last night lol.

  86. Jarod Says:

    Scrapple is delicious. Don’t bash the shit, people!

  87. ShawnJames Says:

    @Jarod I feel bad for you.

  88. D.Whitmore Says:

    count me in with the scrapple loving crowd. i think it depends on where you are from

  89. Tug Haines Says:

    SCR4PPL3 0WNZ

  90. Scott Says:

    So, a Yankees troll comes on here and starts a rumor about a Phillie DUI, and everyone goes around scrambling for information? Hello!

  91. David Phila Says:

    @Rachel Ray:

    Quote: “When everyone stops going to the ballpark next year, things will look as they did for the last 10 years; 9,000 fans per game, losing records, etc.”

    From 1970 – 1979 the Phillies had a total attendance of: 19,295,234 the Yankees had: 15,986,402
    From 1980 – 1989 the Phillies had a total attendance of: 20,573,649 the Yankees had: 22,077,255
    From 1990 – 1999 the Phillies had a total attendance of: 20,275,561 the Yankees had: 22,496,721.
    From 2000 – Current the Phillies have a total attendance of: 22,377,800 the Yankees have: 34,061,693

    So who has more band-wagoners? Why to me it looks like the Yankees do where the Phillies fan base seems pretty consistent. How many dumb shits wear Yankee hats or clothes yet when asked a question about a player look at you cross-eyed. I’m glad my team isn’t a fashion statement. It’d make me wretch.

    A winning team will always have a spike in attendance but the fans in Philly are loyal to their teams win or lose. We have the patience to sit through some really bad bad years just to take in the rewards of good ones with built talent, not bought talent. A team you can respect, not a team who only cares about their own bankroll. A team that has character and spirit from its broadcasters to its players, to its fans, not a team that needs to run radio ads during its broadcast every 10 minutes to pay for their airport of a stadium. Extra innings sponsored by Wendy’s… really? How pathetic. Even with your band-wagon hoping ticket sales the Yanks still need more money. It’s one giant advertisement with some some commentary thrown in now and then.

    Quote: “…the population of Philadelphia will dramatically decrease as all of the bandwagon fans will leave town and move to the Bronx”

    You couldn’t pay me to live in that toilet you call the Bronx. (or it’s surrounding areas)

  92. Rachael Ray Says:

    See what a 1/2 a bottle of whiskey and some shots of EVOO will do to a person? Apologies, but I stand by my first post. And the BronxBomber should be left out…I have to live with him.

  93. dlhunter Says:

    The trolls are coming! The trolls are coming!

  94. John Says:

    rachael, u picked the wrong blog to mess with, now answer my question from above, or are u scared?

  95. Harry Kalas Murder Conspiracy Theory Says:

    scrapple is the nectar of the gods

  96. b-burg Says:

    anyway Rach, you ass hat, I was referring to the year on the red flag flying in center field. stop living in the past, 2008 ‘chip belongs to Philly, until the Yankees come back from their near-decade of hibernation, i think you should keep your mouth shut. And besides, remember when the Sox came back to beat the Yankees when they had a what?… 3-0 lead in the ALCS, talk about monumental meltdown.

    You guys just suck, so what you have a 100+ wins, this is when they count. So keep working CC till he keels over, thats a good way to run a ‘team’, buy everything up, work ‘em till their dead then re-buy, a disposable baseball team. And your city always smells like shit and piss…

    Side note – you basically got swept at home in May by the Phils, the Phils beat themselves with Lidge serving up a few meatballs.

  97. John Says:

    b-burg, dont sink to her level by insulting her back, makes u look weak-minded

  98. dlhunter Says:

    Have you learned nothing, gang? Don’t engage the trolls and they get nothing of out of it.

    Though I have to admit the line “rachael, u picked the wrong blog to mess with, now answer my question from above, or are u scared?” just made me fall out of my chair.

    /You’ve got to pay the troll toll to get into the boy’s hole.

  99. Shawn James Says:

    Rachel post some naked pictures.

  100. Shawn James Says:

    I still laugh out loud everytime I see that the mets were 23 games back.

  101. D. Whitmore Says:

    100?

    Ah jeez, you hate to see that happen.

  102. John Says:

    101?

  103. D. Whitmore Says:

    haha i love the edit.

  104. John Says:

    woh wtf? how in fucks name did u edit ur comment D.Whit?

  105. TheOleBillyBaroo Says:

    Hey @ Rachel Ray your a stupid twat and your food sucks. Go eat some more pot roast whore. The Yankees haven’t won more than a bag of AIDS from Kate Hudson and after CC has to pitch Game 7 tomorrow night, will get some days off to hit up Genos. Why Genos? Because only d-bags like Genos. We dominate in all facets.

    Go eat some of the turds Swisher drops everytime he comes up to bat.

  106. D. Whitmore Says:

    i didn’t do it. must have been that god guy. apparently hes a phillies phan

  107. scrapplegargle Says:

    Few things on God’s earth are better than scrapple except a Phillies WS victory.

    @David Phila –> sweet data.

  108. Gonzo Says:

    I don’t think Rach Ray is coming back.

  109. John Says:

    ditto gonzo, o wellz

  110. Tug Haines Says:

    Rachael Got Haines’d

  111. Gabrielle Says:

    gonzo brought up the DUI, not the troll…anybody hear anything?

  112. Gabrielle Says:

    goddammit no he didn’t. i can’t read.

  113. Gonzo Says:

    Gab, the original comment had my name on it. But it was obviously not me, because my Avatar wasnt showing and the link had Yankees.com. The name was changed to protect the innocent. (Comment #55)

  114. MoyerIsMyHero Says:

    Well, it’s apparently all over now, but since nobody pointed this part out, I might as well. How much of a pussy does a person have to be to come post on a blog of another team and trash-talk, but makes his/her own Yankees-blog “invite only,” presumably to protect their spoiled little ears from any trashtalking? As if trashing-talking on the internet wasn’t one of the most cowardly acts available to man, somehow this loser figured out how to be even more cowardly.

  115. The Cowbell Kid Says:

    Two soft teams in a weak 2009 world series. I got proof right here in these comments that both fanbases are pussy bandwagon jumpers. Bring that weak shit down to the big blue pit next year, see what happens. The Rays will shine again in 2010, faggots!

  116. John Says:

    @ MoyerIsMyHero – my point exactly, thats why i dont even bother insulting them back, whats the point, we’re on the internet, i can be a 12 yr old girl or a 22 yr old steriod juicer jock tough guy and talk shit all i want, and i dont have to back it up, the only way ppl think they can win by internet “trashtalkin” or “internet insulting” is by making more witty comments or more intelligent comments

    the most intelligent thing to do is NOT insult back, cmon guys

  117. illadelph Says:

    Come to CBP and talk that shit, see what happens.

  118. Twisle Says:

    A RAYS fan calling one of the most passionate fanbases in America a bunch of bandwagoners?! Now I’ve heard it all.

  119. Jack Handey Says:

    As I watch the old man
    walk by on the sidewalk
    below my window, I think,

    “Someday, old man,
    I’ll be like you.
    So why not give me your coat?”

    Then I go downstairs
    to try to get his coat,

    but he’s gone.

  120. Fightins Newbie Says:

    Did I just hear Wankee fans chanting “Beat LA”? Hmmm.

  121. Gonzo Says:

    Jack Handy, that was weaksauce.

  122. Matt Says:

    Dammit, I missed out on all the fun with a Yankee troll here! Can I get in on the action if anybody is returning the favor by spamming his site??? Please?

    And I agree with Twisle, holy shit, seriously, a Rays fan talking shit? Calling us bandwagoners? Hahahahahahaha. That’s fucking priceless. The team that romped all over his team in 08 and is heading back to the Fall Classic is a “weak team” when his team finished in 3rd fucking place? hahahahahahaha, awesome!

  123. Gabrielle Says:

    @gonzo: good i’m not as insane as i originally thought.

  124. Adam Says:

    Scrapple is the cat’s ass!!

  125. al Says:

    Rachael ray loves being plump!!! See u on broad street hoe!!

  126. Heathcliff Slocumb Says:

    Black taco

  127. DP Says:

    Pic is Gandalf telling Yankees “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

  128. GPJaunty Says:

    Man, do the Yankees not have their own blogs/ websites/ forums? What the hell kind of person is lame enough to seek out a phillies blog just to talk smack. Get a life dude.

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