It should have been a small tidbit, something to file under ‘Brett being Brett,’ but now all the facts and false information have mixed into a collection of convoluted stories, and it has reached a point where you can’t help but ask questions, and then disbelieve the answers.

I first heard about Eyegate when Andy Martino (@phillieszone) tweeted this at 9:47 Saturday morning:

“Myers will not pitch [his rehab start] tonight because he was struck in the eye by a ball while playing catch with his son. More details to come.”

The official story changed a few hours later when Myers said he “felt bad” for not telling the truth. Instead of getting hit in the face by his toddler fireballer, he claimed to have tripped while getting out of his wife’s Escalade and banged his face on the door. This was somehow more embarrassing than his first story. From Todd Zolecki (via The Zo Zone):

“I couldn’t catch myself,” he said. “My face just smashed the side of it. I basically rolled out of the car, and I said, ‘I need a little help. I can’t get up.’ It knocked me silly. It looks like I went 12 rounds with (Mike) Tyson.”I wasn’t drunk by any means. That’s why I feel so stupid right now.”

“I’m an idiot,” Myers said. “I’ve never felt so frickin’ embarrassed in my life. I feel like a total geek.”

Of course, all of this was followed by lighthearted speculation about karmic retribution for Brett’s 2006 arrest because, you know, domestic violence is an evergreen when it comes to comedy. Even Kim Myers was flicking the jab (so to speak), according to Martino & Salisbury:

“‘No, I did not hit him with a frying pan,’ Kim Myers said, with a laugh, while teasing her husband for being a ‘klutz.’”

But now a report has surfaced that there was an altercation at a pub in Jacksonville, FL early Saturday morning, involving one of Myers’s friends, but not Brett himself.

I looked up the establishment’s phone number and called the place this afternoon. An employee who was working during the scuffle told me that it lasted ‘about 5 seconds,’ and it involved Brett’s friend and another patron. According to my witness, they took turns shoving and barking at each other, and Brett then grabbed his friend and left the bar. I’m told some drinks were spilled and somebody was pushed into the drum set, but that was the extent of the ‘damage.’

But this eyewitness report runs contrary to those reported to Andy Martino, who is an actual reporter and way better at this than I. His witnesses claim the altercation lasted for “a pretty good while…and ended when officers from the St. John’s County Sheriff’s office intervened.”

While I find it hard to believe any single person has the entire story straight, I also find it hard to believe that any sort of massively complicated conspiracy is afoot – just a massively confusing aggregate of bizarre facts and titillating half-truths. Before more details come to light, anything else is pure speculation. Besides, stranger things have happened in Escalades, I’m sure of it.

Philly.com | Phillies Notes: Myers’ Eye Injury Has Two Explanations

Philly.com | Myers Denies Altercation Rumors, Witnesses Agree

The Zo Zone | Bad Day For Lidge, Myers

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