The Fightins'
Jun
16
2011
Wilson Valdez Does Not Care For Your Paper Money
Posted by Dash Treyhorn at 10:14 am ET 27 Comments

Brace yourselves, Phillie fans, because this morning we got a cot-damn bombshell, brought to you by our dear friends from Philly.com.

Phillies infielder and one-time pitcher Wilson Valdez is making $560,000 this year but tipped only 50 cents on two drinks he paid for with a $100 bill for him and a pal just before last call at Time (1315 Sansom) after last Thursday’s late-ending game against the Cubs.

*gasp*

People, Wilson Valdez is barely making above the league minimum this season. He earns less money than Kyle Kendrick. He’s practically poor, in baseball money. If he was a normal person like the rest of us, and was relegated to pushing papers from nine to five, he’d be earning like $24K a year. That said, let us not cast out the baseball player who is trying to cut loose after dropping a game to the Chicago Cubs.

Besides, who is to say that this waitress didn’t have it coming? Maybe she insulted his throwing arm, or better yet, I bet he ordered one drink, but she gave him two because “I hear you like double plays.” Is that the way you treat the future shortshop of this fine organization? Come on, 22-year-old bartender who refers to herself as “a model,” you know better.

Personally, I’d feel honored, not insulted, if The Man With The Golden Goatee stiffed me.

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27 Responses to “Wilson Valdez Does Not Care For Your Paper Money”

  1. TonyIsDynamic says:

    He pull a faisone.

  2. brettswiz says:

    Such an ass. He should have left the rest of the $100 as a tip for opening up those two bud light bottles….

    gag

  3. Jim says:

    I bet he actually left like $5 but the bitch was too dumb to count

  4. I feel stupid for somehow mentally linking this title to Ron Paul.

  5. john says:

    bahahah impressive

  6. BigMiles says:

    How exactly does this make its way to a gossip column? Wilson was just compensating for her being tipped way too aggressively by the massive group of bros trying to get her number all night.

  7. Nikita says:

    Looks like someone at Yahoo sports reads The Fightins

    (contains link to the Kendrickorn)

  8. Brian says:

    who knows the whole story-was the bartender rude? A tip is left for good service….

  9. j-train says:

    Why is he even charged for the drink? Just kidding, but seriously, we don’t know the full story and she very well could have been a horrible bartender/waitress. Who knows.

  10. j-train says:

    I just realized I assumed it was a woman who served him. Yikes.

  11. Mr. Bryan says:

    I like Wilson even more after reading this.

  12. ill tee shirt says:

    what a low life

  13. 85 says:

    Eh. Come on, Wilson, you’re better than that.

  14. Amandah says:

    Wake me up when there’s an article about Veldez playing “Just the Tip” with Jen Utley and her preggo meat curtains.

    Regards,

    Amandah

  15. Mr. Bryan says:

    You think any Phillies will visit Time after they let this non-story out? Not likely.

  16. chilly says:

    how was i to know you were lactose intolerant?

  17. Wilson Valdez says:

    After taxes, it’s only about $300,000.

  18. Colleen Wolfe's Newly Bleached Asshole says:

    I always tip my asshole beacher well!

  19. Colleen Wolfe's Newly Bleached Asshole says:

    And my asshole bleacher! LOL.

  20. DP says:

    Maybe he spent all his money getting the goatee dyed and permed.

  21. Nino Espinosa says:

    Not sure how to feel about this? As an X bartender, i guess I would feel a little slighted, but we dont know the whole story either? As a fan, I guess I would be a little annoyed a public figure did not take care of me a little bit better with maybe a 5 spot? As a realist, and what I typically do in my life is I would have tipped a dollar to open up a couple bottles of beer….is 50 cents worth making a stink over? Prolly not.

  22. Nikita says:

    @14:

    that’s some cutting edge humor right there from a-MAN-duh…!

  23. Amandah says:

    And the “No Shit Sherlock” Award goes to… Nikita!

    Congrats, pal! You’ve unearthed information that everyone already knows.

    Regards,

    Amandah

  24. Wilson Valdez says:

    Sounds like someone needs four of her holes stuffed. I’ll even give you 50 cents for a cab ride after.

    Holla at me, AmandaH,

  25. Shamels Raul (formerly S.R. Wertiz) says:

    @23- I nearly peed myself laughing at that– yet in retrospect it took a bit away from the usual humor. Sadness.

  26. Sherry W says:

    Valdez should drink for free for like a month after that 19 inning extravaganza.

  27. Lynniemac says:

    Valdez should drink for free just for having his arm wrapped in a towel just in case he was needed for the 20th inning.

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