The Fightins'
Open Game Thread 9/14: Phillies at The Bane Of Their Existence
Posted by TonyIsDynamic at 2:02 pm ET 56 Comments

2:05PM on CSN


I am ready for another great day of Phillies baseball, and to clinch a playoff spot today! Who are we pl-



Damn it.

56 Responses to “Open Game Thread 9/14: Phillies at The Bane Of Their Existence”

  1. Joe says:

    All right fellas, let’s do this! Salvage a win in the series, and a playoff spot too!

  2. my beer says:

    oh dear god I am scared so very scared of how they are gonna play

  3. FanSince 9/10/11 says:

    I hope they win. Jesus

  4. JasonMichaelsBrokenHand says:

    THAT IS NOT A CHANGEUP! Christ almighty how long is it going to take for these two tards to get it together.

    • my beer says:

      I thought we gave up on those two tards

    • JasonMichaelsBrokenHand says:

      I’ll never actually expect them to get it right, but regardless their ineptiude is just absolutely FUCKING astounding.
      Did anyone else just hear “Well, they were plays that should have been made, but not errors”?
      Really Wheels? Then what were they?

  5. my beer says:

    Hey we are winning….yeh! Oh wait is this like a no no…did I just jinx it?

  6. Frannie says:

    It’s unsettling that I am nervous about this game, even with Doc pitching.

  7. Roy Halladay’s angry face is one of the scariest things I can imagine as a batter.

  8. Doc Halladay, the sweep stopper says:

    This offense is horseshit.

  9. Roy Halladay says:

    Hey kids, wanna answer a question for me? Where is the Phillies offense? I look forward to well-thought-out responses.

  10. Joe says:

    Doc says, “F you guys. No one else can get on base, so I’ll do it myself.”

  11. Joe says:

    Thanks Sarge, for explaining how a sac bunt works.

  12. Greg Legg says:

    Congratulation, fellas. You’re no longer borderline pathetic. You’re smack-dab right in the middle of pathetic.

  13. Greg Legg says:

    Seven fucking pitches. Well done, Carlos, Pete, and Mike.

  14. Drew says:

    I guess I shouldn’t be complaining because they are, technically, winning (even though it doesn’t feel like it)… but holy shit, are they TRYING to set a record for least-number-of-pitches-making-the-opposing-pitcher-throw?

  15. JP says:

    Wow… Bud Norris averaging 10 pitches an inning… hopefully the bats wake up in Flipadelphia.

  16. Chase Utley's Mom says:

    Did you all see this ridiculous SI player poll where apparently 215 of my son’s fellow asshole comrades named my son the 2nd meanest player in baseball!!!! ahead of carlos zambrano? really? that fucking beaner quit on his team for chrissakes!

  17. Greg Legg says:

    Eh, Pujols is eight. Remember the list of friendliest or classiest players? Wasn’t Pujols in the top ten there, too, along with Raul? The consistency is laughable.

  18. stickaforkin'em says:

    How is it we make the staff of the WORST team in all of Major League Baseball look like they have a pitching staff of Cy Young Award candidates? Un-f’ing real.

  19. Sarah Palin says:

    Has anyone seen Mandingo Rice?

  20. DanB says:

    That SI article is a load of bologna!

  21. Milwaukee Brewer Sausage Committee says:

    Is it a load of kielbasa?

  22. DanB says:

    “Roy Halladay jackin off” – TMac

  23. The Pied Phifer says:

    4-8 batters: 0 for 17.

  24. stickaforkin'em says:

    this is painful to watch.

  25. JP says:

    All it took was a complete game shutout by Doc to beat the Astros…. Playoffs?! PLAYOFFS??!?!!?

  26. Dr. Mantis Toboggan says:

    Dear Lord, all of these broken faces!

  27. MAGIC NUMBER* says:

    * postseason edition

  28. stickaforkin'em says:

    just another reason to love Doc…puts the team with its puttering offense on his back and carries them into the playoffs with the complete game shutout!

  29. Greg Legg says:

    And this is why this guy wins another Cy Young. Other pitchers have his stuff. But none have his balls of steel.

  30. MAGIC NUMBER** says:

    5 Eastern Division

  31. MAGIC NUMBER says:

    6 Home Field throughout

  32. bothwillandway says:

    Damn good thing that Roy Halladay took this shit seriously! What a boss.

    The cycle of sweeps is finally broken!

  33. Danyiel says:

    Big Roy looking like a Terminator out there today, he just wasn’t fucking around at all. Dude’s a straight up gamer. If the Phils don’t win this guy a ring this year, it’s a fucking crime against humanity.

    • Cliff Lee's Sweet Curveball says:

      I know, right?! I feel like I want the Phillies to win the World Series so bad this year just so Halladay can get a ring.

    • Franny Murt says:

      Clifton could use a ring too. He’s probably tired of being a bridesmaid.

  34. Amanduh says:

    Unlike me…who fucks around quite a bit…

    Anyone find my butt plug? I’m ruining the upholstry in my Mitsu.



  35. Dubee Dubee Du says:

    And the Phillies are already emailing ads for Postseason merchandise.
    I’ll save my money for WS2011Champs gear.

  36. Stink Bag says:

    Imagine if we still had Bobby Abreu?

  37. So… if the Phillies do what we hope they’ll do, when would the P***** be? I’m thinking October 28th, which is a Friday. Does that make sense? I’m looking for advice, so I can be smart and request off in advance.

  38. will.H says:

    I have a sneaky feeling Amandah will have something to say about #40

    • Amanda's Vajayjay says:

      It’s recommended that you don’t try to put words into Amanduh’s mouth. She usually will already have something else of yours in there.

  39. chilly says:

    does this (from clinching postseason play to game 1 of the postseason) feel wierd? like lent or a waiting on a hurricane? god, i’m going to drink a lot…my liver is scared :(

  40. Cliff Lee's Sweet Curveball says:

    I hope this series’ offense, or lack thereof, isn’t a sign of things to come…Why do I even feel this way? They’re the best team in baseball but I’m still worrying…

  41. Well done, Tony. Love the intro.

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