BAM! Kiss the ring, bitch.

Yes, those are my stubby little fingers wrapped around that gorgeous 2008 World Series Ring of the WFC Philadelphia Phillies. This morning at The Bank, the American Red Cross hosted a blood drive where you could trade-off a pint of blood to get your picture taken with that beauty.

A pretty fair deal if you ask me.

Pat Burrell’s prized English Bulldog, Elvis, wasn’t around back in April when his father came to Citizens Bank Park to collect his jewelry for winning the 2008 World Series. So yesterday, prior to the final game of the series vs. Pat’s new team, Phillies director of team travel Frank Coppenbarger awarded Elvis with his very own 2008 World Series ring. Well, it’s not really a “ring”, because dogs don’t have fingers, silly! Rather, it’s the top half of the ring lopped off and glued onto a sterling silver plate that they got engraved at the Things Remembered kiosk in the mall, and it’s easily the coolest damn dog collar accessory in the history of dog collar accessories.

Behold:

After the jump, watch as Elvis is presented with his 2008 World Series medallion:

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You remember that nice setup they had for the ring ceremony with the table where the rings sat and the ‘Phillies’ banner draped alongside the front?  Yeah, well it almost all came crashing down thanks to the clumsiness of some lady who was “helping” with the preparation.

Check her out in the bottom right corner as she gets her left foot caught in the carpet and somehow avoids the almost-certain disaster of collapsing the table.  She actually handled it quite well and quickly regained her composure while the other two girls pretended they didn’t see it. For comedy’s sake, it would’ve been so much better if the rings were already on the table and she fell through while the entire stadium laughed at her. Maybe next time!

Watch out for that first step, its a doozy: (View in HQ!)

Here’s that footage of Adam Eaton collecting his prize for not doing a damn thing for the Phillies in 2008 that got people who probably shouldn’t have internet access all worked up yesterday. I, personally, probably wouldn’t have booed the guy if I were in attendance yesterday. But not because I thought he was a useful part of the Phillies or anything — he’s just insignificant in my world. Not worthy of any display of emotion.

In other words, to paraphrase the great Chris Rock, “I ain’t sayin they shoulda booed him. But I understand.”

The Phillies newest reliever, Jack Taschner, obviously wasn’t a part of the 2008 WFC squad that received their rings yesterday at the Citizens Bank Park ceremony. But still, he didn’t want to feel completely left out of the festivities, so he brought his own damn ring.

A delicious cherry-flavored Ring Pop.

There are many perks that come with being a World Series champion.  But there’s only one fits on your finger and comes encrusted with thousands of dollars worth of diamonds.  To the victors go the spoils:

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