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Posts Tagged ‘washington nationals’

Posted by at 1:00 pm ET 59 Comments

Thanks to his G.G. Allin-esque antics and an injured Stephen Strasburg, Nyjer Morgan is the face of the Nationals. Why the fuck do you care about Nationals news? You don’t, but it has Phillies implications.

In August, the league suspended Morgan for throwing a ball into the center field stands at Citizens Bank Ballpark and striking a fan. This week, MLB rescinded the entire suspending, ruling it was an accident.

Today, Morgan invited the fan to the park as his guest, according to a Nationals spokesman. The fan received a free ticket behind the Nationals dugout, and Morgan met with him before the game and signed a ball for him.The fan got to walk through the Nationals clubhouse before the game, meeting Manager Jim Riggleman and a few other players.

Nyjer then proceeded to punch the fan in the cock and then scream “X-Pac!” over his motionless body*

*Howdy S. Thompson’s artistic interpretation

Also, controversial tits:

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Posted by at 8:24 pm ET 10 Comments

This week, Dash will be previewing the National League East teams, with the same level of statistical analysis and hard-hitting reporting that you’ve come to expect from The Fightins Dot Com. Nah, he’ll just write about something that is likely unrelated to the team and the game of baseball, and you’ll read it. You always do.

For the Washington Nationals, 2009 was nearly identical to 2008. 50 or so wins to go with 100 or so losses, a ball park that is routinely filled with fans from an opposing team, and the divisional cellar that is getting a little too familiar.

Well, good news, everyone! They team cannot be any worse in 2010. Probably.

Despite some improvements to the pitching staff, notably Jason Marquis and some low-risk, high reward signings of guys like Chein-Ming Wang and Matt Capps, they are still the Washington Nationals, and they’ll still figure out how to wind up at the bottom of the division.

If anything, 2010 isn’t so much about the improvements to the club, or about Pudge Rodriguez “mentoring” young players (or sullying his Hall of Fame career by playing in Washington, whichever) as it is about whether or not super-phenom Stephen Strasburg will make his big league debut. The 21 year old pitcher, who was taken first overall in last year’s draft, did not disappoint in spring training. The fact that it is spring training should not deter any Nats fans from getting excited, nay; I say it gives them something to look forward to.

It should remind Phillies fans of Cole Hamels and his meteoric rise through the minor leagues in 2006. I remember hearing so much about this high school kid that it felt like he couldn’t possibly live up to the hype that had been brewing. Of course, once he was given the chance, Cole didn’t disappoint, and a few years later the city of Philadelphia has a championship and we are all happy.

Not that it’s going to happen with Washington anytime soon, or at least not until they figure out how to properly manage a minor league system, but Strasburg and his fastball-curve combination should be the brass ring for the fans in the 202. It’s something for them to look forward to, and with good reason, because in the last five seasons, the Nats have been just terrible, with their best work coming during their first year in D.C., when they finished 81-81. Of course, considering the rat-hole of a stadium they played in, go ahead and deduct a few from the win column.

However, if there is one thing that baseball is about, it’s this: Looking forward to the next pitch, the next inning, the next game, and the next season. And with Strasburg in the mix, along with some other guys like the best third baseman in the N.L. Ryan Zimmerman, his not-brother Jordan Zimmermann, totally not a British chap Ian Desmond, and Mauer/Pujols hybrid Bryce Harper, then Washington fans have a lot to look forward to.

And sometimes, that’s the best you can hope for.

Posted by at 9:58 pm ET 16 Comments


Philly’s finest invention, ECW, has a cheer for guys like Scott Olsen. ‘Scuse me, a cheer for pompous dickbags like Scott Olsen. In the long tradition of hating at least one player for each team, and never being conflicted about who to root for because the other 29 teams are filled with bitches and hypocritical fucks, the Washington Nationals just stole fuckface away from the Marlins.

Aside from being very ugly, he is also a moron. Thorough research (Wikipedia) produced this gem:

“Olsen was arrested by police in Aventura, Florida after fleeing from police following a speeding violation (he was clocked going 48 MPH in a 35 MPH zone). He fled for about a mile, at which point he stopped at his home and sat in a plastic chair in the front yard. When police arrived and tried to arrest him, he kicked at the officers who then used a taser to subdue him.”

Nice one, dumbass. Enjoy telling us how you hate the Phillies and are openly rooting for their downfall while scratching your ass for a team that’s only getting shittier and shittier, the Washington Nationals.

Celebrity milkers after the jump:

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