Brett Myers seems to really be enjoying himself during these clubhouse celebrations.

Although the Phillies were supposedly a bit more low-key in their revelry compared to the NL East clincher, you certainly wouldn’t be able to tell from this clip…

While being interviewed by CBS 3’s Don Bell, Myers popped the top on two cans of Bud Light and gave himself a beer bath ala Stone Cold Steve Austin. The always observant Bell noticed that Myers was pretty good at it, to which Brett replied, “I watch a lot of wrestling.”

I can’t imagine it was a fun day to be a Brewers fan. After their team showed signs of life yesterday, all they needed was one big effort at home and they’d force a game five with a fully rested CC Sabathia on the mound in the deciding contest. Unfortunately for them, Pat Burrell happened and the Phillies took ‘em out.

Adding injury to insult for one particular fan, a young lady decided to take her annoying Thunderstick and wack her boyfriend in the cock with it.  He didn’t seem fazed at all, almost like he was used to getting (figuratively) smacked in the balls all game long.

I just returned from the Phillies game.  My voice is shot, my body is filled with unhealthy toxins, and I need some rest.  I’ll certainly be back tomorrow with a bit more analysis, but for now I’ll leave you with this…

By request, Shane Victorino’s Grand Salami with Scott Franzke and Larry Andersen of WPHT 1210 am on the call.  No questions asked:

After the jump, our little fast-talking hero speaks.

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Following the Phillies division-clinching victory over the Nationals on Saturday, Philadelphia stations did a rather poor job of covering the post game shenanigans. Honest to God, after FOX went off the air, I had a hard time finding any channel with the exciting Live! footage that you’re accustomed to getting after the game is long over.

Although, just because no one showed anything good, that doesn’t necessarily mean nothing interesting happened. As phan_in_babylon, Clare, and James Beale pointed out in the comments of another post, Pedro Feliz and Chris Coste were riding around the field on police bikes while Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth were practically running people over on a groundskeepers cart.

I couldn’t find the Feliz/Coste video, but here’s Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth on a groundskeepers cart:

In an uncharacteristic move, instead of watching the Phillies game yesterday I decided to spend some quality time with the fam, stock up on 2008 NL East Champions tees, and re-watch “The Double Play” about 4,000 times. Because of that, I missed the first career home run of our catcher of the future, Lou Marson. He wound up hitting a 2-run shot — his first ever — to put the game away in the eighth inning. Sir James Beale of the fantastic The Sports Complex, hipped me to the fact that when he reached the dugout, the Phillies chose to give the rook the silent treatment; standard practice for youngsters who hit their first career jack. What made this “freeze-out” different, though, was Marson’s reaction. Instead of being left hanging, he decided to give a bunch of phantom high-fives to no one in particular.

So I went into The Fightin’s lab to cut the video for Mr. Beale and it turned out to be as funny as he described.

Have a look-see:

Lou Marson Congratulates Self, Earns Praise | The Sports Complex

In the midst of the post-game celebration yesterday evening, Brett Myers took a break from the division winning festivities to sit down with Michael Barkann and Mitch Williams of Comcast SportsNet. It was during this interview where Myers issued a guarantee for this year’s playoffs.

“We will NOT go three and out this year!”

Okay, so it’s not exactly on the level of Joe Namath or Mark Messier, but it’s a start…

Here’s the proof:

The always eloquent Charles Fuqua Manuel was interviewed after the division winning game earlier tonight and explained the importance of winning the NL East (again) and who he’d rather face in the NLDS.

At least, that’s what I think was talking about. You know, like, judge for yourself. I love this guy.

Here’s the deal:  The Philadelphia Phillies were up 4-2 going into the bottom half of the ninth inning with the flawless Brad Lidge taking the mound to close out the game and clinch the NL East for The Fightins.  After a leadoff strike out of Emilio Bonifacio, Lidge (uncharacteristically) gave up a base knock to Roger Bernadina and walked Ryan Langerhans before allowing an RBI single to Anderson Hernandez. Then, with only 1 out and the lead trimmed to 4-3, Christian Guzman hit a single to center to load the bases for Ryan Zimmerman.

The sold-out crowd at Citizens Bank Park grew restless. After 40 straight saves, could this be the game where Brad Lidge would finally blow one? Afterall, he had only induced two double plays ALL YEAR.

Suddenly, with a 1-1 count to Zimmerman and a chance to secure the NL East on the line, this happened:

It seems as though the average Philadelphia Phillies fan isn’t quite as confident as they should be right now. They would have preferred the division be wrapped up already. Now, mind you, these are the same people who left the Phillies for dead before their 4-game sweeping of the Brewers a couple weeks back, but as you should know by now — it’s never easy.

Well cheer up fellas, with the season winding down to the final series, remember: WE (as in me and the Phillies) are in the lead right now. The fact is, there are three teams in contention for the final two National League playoff spots. If you ask any outsider’s opinion on who will make it, 90% of them would name the Phillies as one of those two. But for some reason, people are nervous. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I figured I’d attempt to calm those nerves and divulge 5 good reasons as to why the Phillies will not only make the ‘offs, but win the National League East.

And you mutherfuckers with your, “Don’t jinx the team” rhetoric — please, stop it. Do you have any idea how nonsensical you sound when you tell someone that simply talking about the playoffs assuredly (or having a magic number posted on your website) will somehow put a curse on the team leading to their demise? Besides, I put the malocchio (pronounced mah-loix, you uncultured fuck) on both the Washington Nationals and New York Mets.

Alright, now that we got that out of the way, I got some good news and I got more good news — what do you want first?

GOOD NEWS: We’re playing the Washington Nationals – In a dream scenario where your favorite National League team is 1 game ahead in their respective division with 3 games left to play and they get to choose their opponent (at home, no less) for the the final series, who would you pick?

That’s right… the Washington Nationals.

With a putrid record of 59-99, the Nats are clearly the dregs of the NL. For the second consecutive year, the schedule makers have been kind enough to offer them as a sacrifice of sorts; as close as you can get to a “gimmie” series to finish out the year.

Take 2 of 3 and you’re most likely in the playoffs. Anything less and you simply don’t deserve to go.

(but still can!)

GOOD NEWS: Fredi Gonzalez has mad integrity, yo — Or so he says. When the Marlins ’skip was asked whether or not he’ll play his starters this weekend against the Mets, Fredi had this to say,

“We’re going with our guys, with the guys that played the significant amount of games. The regulars,” Gonzalez added.

Asked why, Florida’s manager said: “For the integrity of the game and for the way you should play the game. That’s the only way to do it. Like we did last year.”

Does this mean Lou Pinella lacks integrity for suiting up the AAA Iowa Cubs roster for last night’s game in Shea? Of course not, dummy. First off, the Cubs aren’t worried about playing the spoiler role, they are more concerned about not getting one of their starters injured during a downpour in a meaningless game.

Blame that horribly positioned catcher for letting Ryan Church curtsy around him for the tying run.

GOOD NEWS: Tim Redding isn’t pitching this weekend – Aside from the little 4 IP, 10 H, 7 ER clunker he tossed against the Phillies on July 30th, Tim Redding has effing pwned Philadelphia hitters this year. Again, not counting that hiccup, he has pitched 25 innings vs. the Phils giving up only 13 hits and 4 earned runs while compiling a 3-0 record.

Fortunately, he pitched Wednesday night and barring some unforeseen circumstance, will not see any mound action again this year. I never thought I’d say this about missing a Tim Redding start, but…

Whew!

GOOD NEWS: Even Mets fans don’t have any confidence in their team – Here is a screenshot I swiped directly from the SNY broadcast of the Mets game last night. Granted, it was when they were down 6-4 in the bottom of the eighth, but it looks to me like they are preparing for the inevitable.

The question was “Where will the Mets finish at the end of the year?”:

Mets fans: Oozing confidence since September 2007.

GOOD NEWS: History is on our side – Last season, with the Phillies, Mets, and Brewers all in a similar position, the Metros and Brew Crew imploded while the Philbo’s flourished. If you don’t think this is all in the back of their minds somewhere — you’re crazy. As soon as Florida puts one of those 4-run innings up on the board against NY, the “here we go again” visions will begin to resurface. And if Ryan Dempster performs anywhere close to his usual self tonight, the Brewers could have trouble plating runners.

If either one of these two teams lose tonight, the playoffs are practically guaranteed for The Fightin’s.

Now, would you like a prediction from a man who has watched just about every single inning of Phillies baseball this year? Sure thing. The Phillies will win the first two games of this series. Coupled with a Mets loss either tonight or tomorrow, and the Phillies will once again become Champions of the National League East.

The best part? We can rest Cole Hamels on Sunday so he’s good to go for Game 1 and some shitty combination of Adam Eaton & Les Walrond can give up 11 earned runs our final game and absolutely no one will give a shit.

Relax, enjoy the weekend, and prepare for October.

I’ll leave you with this:

Some strange goings on at The Bank last night in the bottom of the eighth.

With the Phillies getting whupped 10-4, Shane Victorino was taking a healthy lead off of 3rd with two outs and Matt Stairs at the plate. Braves reliever and perpetual weirdo, Julian Tavarez, took a peek over and noticed Victorino was chatting it up with 3rd base coach Steve Smith so he decided to sprint towards the bag for the pickoff attempt.

Immediately following the odd play, Shane had some words for Tavarez to the effect of, “Just throw a pitch, Krueger, we’re down 6 runs over here.” That’s when Julian thought the right move would be try and start a fight with Victorino. Then, the benches cleared, the bullpens emptied, and the two teams stood around yelling at each other for a couple minutes. Not exactly a bench-clearing brawl, but it’s the closest they’ve come to fisticuffs this year. Have a look:

Afterwards, the best quote (per usual) came from the honorable Charlie Manuel, who had his own way of settling the altercation:

“If I had my way, you know what I’d do?

Form a big circle and see who wants to fight, I’ve seen that before and nobody fights.”

Coming in at the second best quote, Jamie Moyer chimed in:

“I’m too old for this.”

Benches clear in Braves-Phillies game | Phillies.com

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