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Posts Tagged ‘Toronto Blue Jays’

Posted by at 12:37 pm ET 33 Comments

1:07 PM on CSN and MLB Network


Kyle Kendrick (4-4) 3.23 ERA

Phillies: Every time Kendrick pitches it makes me sad. So instead of posting a picture of him, I decided to upload this GIF of the Turk Dance. (Related: Click here for LOLs.) You are welcome for the in-depth baseball analysis.

Ricky Romero (7-7) 2.74 ERA

Blue Jays: A Blue Jay is a stupid mascot. “Oo, I’m a dumb bird and I fly around and eat worms and stuff.” Pfft, weak. If I owned the Blue Jays I’d change the name to something badass like “The Toronto Razorsharks,” or I’d move the team to Maui and name it “The Active Volcanoes,” because I’ve seen Dante’s Peak and volcanoes are terrifying. What I’m getting at is this: get your shit together, Toronto.

[as always, big-ups to Weems on the rush job Photoshop]

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Posted by at 2:11 pm ET 34 Comments

Hey Phillies fans — have you ever wanted the most painful sports moment of your life shrunken down and captured in sculpture-form? If your answer is “yes”, then you might want to head up to Toronto for Sunday’s game against the Rays where the first 10,000 lucky fans get a figurine of a celebratory Joe Carter after he hit the World Series-winning home run off of Mitch Williams in ’93. Have a look-see at the nauseating collectible:

Ugh. It doesn’t get much more depressing than that. Maybe they can make a special statuette of a 14-year old weeping into his ’93 N.L. Champs t-shirt if they have time.

I hope this was made from a lead-based paint that poisons all who touch it. Enjoy it, Blue Jay fans.

Posted by at 8:11 am ET 7 Comments

You can hardly contain yourself, right? Me neither.

Per Ken Rosensquirrel’s “sources” — who may or may not be tied up in his shed — the Phillies have found their Geoff Jenkins replacement. Welcome to Philly, Fat Matt!

The Phillies, adding a left-handed hitter to their bench, have acquired outfielder Matt Stairs from the Blue Jays, according to major-league sources.

The Jays will receive a prospect in return. The identity of that player has not yet been determined.

If you ask me, this is just what we need; a lefty who bats .250 and strikes out twice as much as he walks. Was Russell Branyan unavailable?

(And no, I’m not bitter at all this morning after last night’s heart-wrenching loss, thanksfurasking)

Sources: Phils get Stairs from Blue Jays | FOX Sports (via MLB Trade Rumors)

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R.I.P Harry Kalas