Hey Phillies fans — have you ever wanted the most painful sports moment of your life shrunken down and captured in sculpture-form? If your answer is “yes”, then you might want to head up to Toronto for Sunday’s game against the Rays where the first 10,000 lucky fans get a figurine of a celebratory Joe Carter after he hit the World Series-winning home run off of Mitch Williams in ‘93. Have a look-see at the nauseating collectible:

Ugh. It doesn’t get much more depressing than that. Maybe they can make a special statuette of a 14-year old meech.one weeping into his ‘93 N.L. Champs t-shirt if they have time.

I hope this was made from a lead-based paint that poisons all who touch it. Enjoy it, Blue Jay fans.

You can hardly contain yourself, right? Me neither.

Per Ken Rosensquirrel’s “sources” — who may or may not be tied up in his shed — the Phillies have found their Geoff Jenkins replacement. Welcome to Philly, Fat Matt!

The Phillies, adding a left-handed hitter to their bench, have acquired outfielder Matt Stairs from the Blue Jays, according to major-league sources.

The Jays will receive a prospect in return. The identity of that player has not yet been determined.

If you ask me, this is just what we need; a lefty who bats .250 and strikes out twice as much as he walks. Was Russell Branyan unavailable?

(And no, I’m not bitter at all this morning after last night’s heart-wrenching loss, thanksfurasking)

Sources: Phils get Stairs from Blue Jays | FOX Sports (via MLB Trade Rumors)

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