Excuse me, ump, but I couldn’t help notice a slight blunder on your part when you called our man out at first base. I beg to differ, sir. He was safe.

…Oh, no, I beg to differ. He was quite safe.

Really, is that what you think? Well, go get fucked.

You heard me. Pull down your pants and sit on a cock. I don’t care which one. Any cock’ll do, Rooster Cogburn. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have compared you to Rooster Cogburn. At least he had one eye that fucking worked.

You judgmentally retarded asshole. You poor excuse for a callmaker. Ryan beat that tag to first, fuckwit! When a large sack of meat and potatoes like him makes it to the bag safely, you fucking notice it. Well most people would, unless they were busy polishing their head with their anal crevice, as it appears you must have been doing.

So help me God, if this play comes back to bite us in the ass, there is no measure to how fast and how hard I will bring this fight to your doorstep.

Yeah, I saw The Bourne Identity too last night, so what? Fuck you regardless.

Oh, I’m tossed, am I? Well, you know what else you can toss? My salad. Steve Smith isn’t going to stand here and take your shit. Here, have a batting helmet, asshole.

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