Are you holding onto your Borsalino’s, Sarge fans?

Good. Because this Thursday night, when the Cubs and Phillies kick off their all-important 4-game series at Wrigley, everyone’s favorite colorman will be singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” during the 7th inning stretch. Incredible, right?

Sure, the whole idea of performing this song at The Friendly Confines is to root for the Cubbies, but being that he resides in Chicago and used to play for the North Siders means he gets a temporary one-day pass. Just make sure you’re in front of your TV after the Phillies bat in the 7th inning — I guarantee it’ll be fantastic. And if you somehow miss it, rest assured: I’ll have the video up by Friday morning.

Below, you will find a clip of Sarge and Scott Franzke from WPHT 1210 last night where Sarge announces his new gig and exclaims, “The worst you are, the better they like it.” Below that is a tremendous photo from the 7th Annual Gary Maddux BBQ Challenge, apropos of nothing.

Audio: Sarge talks about singing at Wrigley

(A tip of the fedora to jstudent over at Philly Edge for the heads-up)

Two trendsetting fans of the Phillies have been popping up at The Bank recently paying tribute (in their own, unique sort of way) to former Phillies legends and current broadcasters, Larry Anderson and Sarge Matthews.  Adorned in the freshest of the Mitchell & Ness’, fake ’staches, afros and American headwear; these gentleman have raised the bar for any so-called fan that dares walk through the turnstyle claiming to be a fashion connoisseur.

Consider me jealous, fellas.

After the jump, check out the video and side-by-side comparisons to their counterparts in the booth…

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I don’t know much about former Padres pitcher and current analyst Mark “Mud” Grant, but I do know one thing: In the short amount of time the Phillies were in San Diego, he obviously tried copying off the King of Broadcasting Style, Sarge Matthews. Friday night, the man whom they call Mud was in the Padres broadcasting booth - sans hat - to witness the 1-0 pitcher’s duel between Jamie Moyer and Greg Maddux. Well, guess who showed up Saturday night wearing a cheap imitation of a Sarge hat?

(Alright, I’ll tell you — Mark Grant)

Now, I’d be willing to bet Mr. Grant was roaming around the press area on Friday night, caught a glimpse of one of the many beautiful hats in the Sarge Matthews hat collection and rushed to the nearest San Diego hat store. Then he grabbed some crappy hat hoping he would look as cool as The Sarge.

Hate to break it to you Mark, but NO ONE is as cool as Sarge Matthews. NO ONE!

I got it! After a solid week-and-a-half of searching everywhere, I managed to get a hold of the lost footage of the Sarge Matthews Chicken Dance. Two Sundays ago in Miami, Comcast cameras caught Sarge doing the Chicken Dance along with the 2,000+ fans in attendance at the Marlins game. They replayed it going to commercial in the fourth inning, but until now, there was no video available on the internet.

Well, fear not Fightin’s readers, here it is.

Unfortunately, the clip I obtained featured no sound and was only 4 seconds long. In order to present it, I had to loop it and attempt to sync the Chicken Dance track to the video. Although my editing skills are shoddy at best, I think you can forgive me this one time.

The Chicken Dance will never be the same.

After the Atlanta Braves put up a 9-spot in the 4th inning against Hollywood Hamels, things looked bleak for the Phillies. And then, just one inning later, their bats came alive. Following RBI’s by Ryan Howard and Pat Burrell, Chris Coste made it a 2-run game with a cue shot off the end of his bat down the right-field line. That put runners at the corners with 2 outs for the best pinch-hitter in all the land, Greg Dobbs.

I’ll let Harry Kalas, in his first game back since eye surgery, take it from here:

While in town yesterday to promote her girly (NOT slutty) clothing line Touch, Alyssa Milano had to endure the dreaded Philadelphia talk show circuit. I heard her on Mike Missanelli Tuesday, she was mentioned on every local morning show yesterday — and even made a trip to the booth with Sarge and TMac to talk fashion.

Thankfully, it made for some uncomfortable conversations.

As The 700 Level promptly brought to your attention immediately following the game, the funniest (hands down) was the back-and-forth between Alyssa and Sarge during the 4th inning. A harmless conversation quickly escalated into a borderline inappropriate (but definitely hilarious) query about her tattoos.

The following is a meech.one produced, sloppy montage that includes some other douche chill inducing highlights; as well as self-serving, gratuitous footage of The Fightins’ fave - ballgirl Christy G.

Have at it:

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On Saturday, the broadcasting duo of Gary “Sarge” Matthews and Tom McCarthy both celebrated their respective birthdays. The Sarge turned 58 while TMac hit the big four-oh. Congratulations, gentleman.

On that day, their broadcast booth was raided by the Phillie Phanatic, who was thoughtful enough to bring a cake and confetti. Here is the clip of the celebration, but first, some interesting tid-bits:

• For some unknown reason, the graphic reads: “Tom & Gary: Happy 70th Birthday!” Now neither Sarge nor Tom are even close to seventy years old, and their combined age would be 98. I’d love to know what the hell they meant by this. It’s confusing the shit out of me.

• Watch as the nice lady with the headset gets repeatedly knocked in the corner by the wide derrière of the Phanatic. (around the :50 second mark) Somehow, she doesn’t even look annoyed.

• If you listen closely, Sarge informs the viewing audience that this is his third cake of the day. That’s one helluva birthday celebration.

• Also, the strange dynamic of Sarge & Tom busting each other’s balls continues. This time, Tom basically calls Sarge a cheapskate, implying Gary had nothing to do with the celebration because he wouldn’t shell out the scratch for it. My favorite running joke between the two is how Sarge keeps bringing up the awful haircut joint, SuperCuts, because that’s where Tom gets his haircut.

• That is all. Enjoy.

I’d like to bring to your attention a couple clips from last night’s Phillies game:

First up - Phillies 2nd string colorman, Sarge Matthews, talks candidly about his “down there” grooming habits. It’s quite disturbing actually, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets reprimanded for such naughty-talk. On top of that - the visual they provide for his grooming discourse is borderline pornographic. But don’t worry, it’s completely SFW.

After that clip is Yuney Escobar fouling a Cole Hamels pitch off the ground and directly into his nuts. I imagine he’s wearing a cup, but it still takes him some time to walk it off and recover. With the increasing number of freak umpire injuries and nutshots happening this year, I feel they should all be documented. Enjoy.

Oh, and fuck the Mets.

Inspired by Sarge’s hat from April 10th, 2008

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