If you thought the botched photoshop job on the 2010 Topps Cliff Lee card was bad, wait until you get a load of their interpretation of Roy Halladay in a Phillies uni. It’s a doozy:

Now as far as I’m concerned, Topps has the artistic freedom to make their Roy Halladay ’shop as ugly as they want — I’m not nit-picking that. BUT they gave the man the retired #32 jersey number of Phillies legend Steve Carlton! INEXCUSABLE! You would think that Topps employs the sort of baseball-knowledgeable folks who would catch such an egregious error before it made its way to mass production, no?

For shame, Topps. FOR SHAME.

Fresh from Philly.com’s Insider Michael Klein, Phillies legend Roy Halladay has bought a 1.66 acre property in Newtown Square (I used to have orchestra practice there!), in the vicinity of Cole and Heidi’s year-old house on West Chester Pike. It’s believed to be worth $2,288,500, according to the Delaware County books.

Welcome to the area, Roy. We’ll be sure to stalk you.

And so it begins.

The Phillies began their National League defense today, christening the 2010 season with a stunning victory over the defending champion New York Yankees. Despite allowing the Yankees to plate two in the top of the ninth to take a one run lead, the Phils rallied for two in their last at-bats to earn their first win of the non-season.

As expected, Roy Halladay was impressive in his first start of the spring, tossing two hitless innings while striking out three. Kyle Kendrick, Doc’s protege, put up two scoreless frames as well, allowing one hit and striking out one.

So what does this all mean?

Nothing. It means nothing at all. It’s the first week in March, so consider everything that happens between now and April 4^th to be completely and utterly meaningless. Because it is. It’s Spring Training, and the Phillies play in something called the “Grapefruit League.” There are 10AM games. I haven’t played a 10AM game since I was nine. There are off-days to play golf. Players jog on the warning track in between at-bats after they’ve been replaced by someone with “84” on their back.

Make no mistake about it, you are all bearing witness to some awfully inconsequential baseball. And really, unless your name is Kyle or Jamie, then you can go ahead and hit the snooze alarm and coast for the next month. However, there are some (You know them better as WIP callers) who disagree. For them, spring training has as much weight and meaning as a mid-September game between against the Mets.

It goes without saying, and I feel like a dolt for even writing such things, but it’s not the same. It’s not even close. If Roy would’ve have struck out all six batters he faced, you’d say “Sure, he’s Roy.” Had he got knocked around, you’d say “It’s early. He’s just getting his reps in.” And although you’d be admonished for ending a sentence with a preposition, you’d be right. Or wrong. Or neither, because quite frankly, no one is ever right when it comes to this time of the season, because there is nothing to be right about, because it has no meaning.

This stems from the comments heard and read regarding Phillipe Aumont’s brief appearance on Wednesday night against the FSU squad. He didn’t look impressive. He didn’t look like he was just missing his spots, either. He just looked bad. He looked like he had the nerves of a Ben Stiller character.

But what do you expect? It’s spring training, the kid had the butterflies, and it got the best of him. And whatever you do, don’t you dare blame his struggles on his constantly adjusting arm slot that is completely common among pitchers on the third of March.

So please, for the love of the game, take this grain of salt. It’s a long season.

/Author’s note: I realize how unnecessary and pointless the above article was. Only like 5% of the population cares about spring training games. Unfortunately, that 5% has discovered the internet. And they are motivated, and unstoppable, like a grizzly bear who discovered kevlar. It’s a massive headache and an act of sheer futility just having to avoid these people. So please, bear with this utterly inane excuse for a column. After all, it’s spring training for me, too. I promise they’ll get better.

The highlight of the Phils’ first Spring Training game today, other than Doc Halladay completely pwning Yankee ass, would be this graphic shown during the ridiculously boring middle innings today.

From the looks of this wonderful comparison of two aces in action, it looks like baseball is going to be fucking awesome on CSN (or Xfinity SportsNet at some point during the regular season) once again. I actually really enjoyed the Doc, Forehead, and Kendrick interviews from the booth boys today. The radio boys seem to be in mid-season form as well.

(pic via our very own Chris; UPDATED pic in crispy 1080px width via @dhm)

Kyle Kendrick wants that 5th spot, and he’s willing to drastically improve his work ethic to get it. Jim Salisbury says that while Kendrick would show up around 8am every morning in previous Spring Trainings, he has begun arriving at Bright House Field at quarter to six every morning this year.

I don’t know if it’s personal initiative on Kyle’s part or some kind of Dubee-sponsored Sturdy Wings program, but Kendrick has buddied up with the great Roy Halladay to pick up a few pointers on how to kick ass.

Kendrick, 25, has benefitted from his up-close look at Halladay’s legendary work ethic. Keeping up with Halladay means getting up pretty early – and getting to bed by 9 p.m.

“My work ethic has gotten a lot better, I think,” Kendrick said. “Before, I didn’t have a plan. Now I have a plan, thanks to Roy. He’s the hardest worker I’ve ever seen.”

I’m guessing he’s heard that old chestnut about success breeding success. You can’t improve yourself by hanging around a bunch of scrubs. It’s a good move on his part, I’m guessing that by simply grabbing his own destiny by the balls, he’s locked himself in for at least a spot in the bullpen.

Who am I kidding: initiative is never rewarded by management.

Roy’s tossing the pill as Charlie looks on with his hands down his pants. What is this, mid-July?

…meanwhile, back here in Philly, some of this year’s promotions were on display for those brave souls who waited in line for the single game tickets that officially went on sale today. The highlight, of course:

The resemblance is uncanny.

May 18th, baby! Just got my tickets!

UPDATE: Courtesy of CSN’s SportsNite, MORE CHARLIE WITH HIS HANDS DOWN HIS PANTS!

I know no one wants to hear about the Mets any more than they absolutely have to, but this is something that has to be put out there and will be the last of the Mets talk I promise. Recently in an interview with The Sporting News Roy Halladay was asked who the best pitcher in the NL East was. Here was his response:

“I’d never vote for myself,” Halladay, 32, told the magazine when asked whether he was the best pitcher in the NL East.

He said New York Mets lefthander Johan Santana”has always been fun to watch. The way Cole pitched in the playoffs a couple of years ago and at times last year, I think he’s up there. Some of the Marlins’ younger guys are scary - Josh Johnson. There’s a lot of talent.”

Notice no mention of himself. Halladay prefers his talking to be done on the field, unlike one of the pitchers he had just complimented, one Johan Santana. According to Brian Costa, Mets beat writer for the Star Ledger, when asked the same question Santana had this to say:

“Santana”

Nice. Now please follow me ATJ for more proof than you actually need as to why Halladay is, in fact, the better pitcher.

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As of 9:22 yesterday morning, baseball season has arrived.

Thanks to the intrepid reporting of Milwaukee’s own Todd Zolecki, we have the first bit of evidence that baseball has arrived in Philadelphia, vis a vis Clearwater, Florida. It is the first such activity in Phillies baseball since Shane Victorino grounded out in early November, and brother, not a moment too soon.

Of course, it’s technically been baseball season in Philadelphia since December 16^th, when Ruben Amaro pulled the trigger on two trades that are likely to define his place in Phillies history, when he sent Cliff Lee to Seattle in exchange for prospects, while bringing in Roy Halladay, whereupon he inked a tidy, team-friendly extension to keep him in Phillies pinstripes for the foreseeable future.

Since that day, it’s been three months of Christmas Eves. Nothing but anticipation and wonderment for what’s waiting on the other side of tomorrow.

Well, we can wait no more, folks, because tomorrow has arrived, and it is officially the start of spring training, as pitchers, catchers, and a handful of motivated position players arrive to start the magical ride known as baseball season.

From here, it’s a few short weeks until split squads and starts by guys we’ve never heard of, and before you know it, Doc will be taking the mound in Nationals Park on April 5^th.

So allow me to kick start your 2010 season with a list that I like to call…THE SIX MOST IMPORTANT MEMBERS OF THE PHILLIES IN 2010.

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Shhhhhhh… don’t say anything. You’ll just ruin the moment.

(Image via Yong Kim/Daily News)

Your new favorite pitcher, one Harry Leroy Halladay, graces the cover of next week’s Sporting News Magazine all dressed up (for the first time, I believe) in full Phillies uniform. While we won’t be able to sample the article until the issue hits newsstands, Andy Martino of the Inqy got a sneak peek and shared it with the rest of us in this morning’s paper. Aside from talking glowingly about Cole Hamels and modestly calling Johan Santana the best pitcher in the NL East, he also reiterates his main goal in coming to Philadelphia:

“[Pitching in the postseason is] the one driving force,” Halladay said. “I feel like I’ve been fortunate to accomplish different things that I didn’t necessarily set out to accomplish, but was able to do it, anyway. And I think through all of that I realized how important winning is to me. It’s not a lot of fun playing in September knowing you’re leaving to go home Oct. 1. That is definitely very hard.”

Me likey.

• Watrick on Buster Olney: Just Doing His Job?
• will.H on Topps confuses Roy Halladay for Steve Carlton
• Tug Haines on Topps confuses Roy Halladay for Steve Carlton
• dlhunter on Buster Olney: Just Doing His Job?
• will.H on Topps confuses Roy Halladay for Steve Carlton