If you’re anything like the writers of this fine website (technically, it’s super fine), you have an unhealthy obsession with Sarge “Gary” Matthews. Be it man-crush or lady boner, you would do anything for the Sarge. Some of us (me) have even revised his Wiki page.

Tomorrow (Thursday) at the Borders in Springfield, you, the Fightins’ reader have the privilege of being in the presence of Sarge Matthews. And who knows, maybe you can rub elbows (or the ‘Tard’s case get high and drink Everclear in his car while he lectures you why Amon Amarth is better than sex) with the writers of the Fightins.

I’ll be there, with fuckin’ bells on (Bells = ‘My Beat LA’ shirt). Meech will be there. Chamo, not so much; but don’t blame him, blame his pet monkey.

Here are the details:

Where: Borders, Springfield Square Shopping Center, 1001 Baltimore Pike, Springfield, PA, 19064

When : Thursday, December 18, 7:00 PM – Whenever the Sarge love ends

Who : Fuckin’ Sarge Matthews!! And Fightins staff. And Borders employees.

Why: FUCKIN’ SARGE MATTHEWS!!!!

What: FUCK. ING. SARGE. MATTHEWS.

Uggh, finals and drinking with a high school girl will really drain the energy from you. Also, Hennessy = BLAAAHHHH. Titties and picture of a young suave Sarge for Lynniemac after the jump:

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