Posts Tagged ‘rivals’
With a divisional rival in town, its only natural for the internet to turn into a festering Petri dish of insults. Braves suck! Phillies suck! Bobby Cox hates women! Charlie Manuel once killed and devoured a bull moose in front of a kindergarten class!
In response to such remarks, we often see our enemies and ourselves breach the topic of “class.” Often times, the “classiness” of the other team’s fans is brought into question, just prior to an insult that questions the “classiness” of ourselves. It is a neverending cycle with no end, and like a snake eating its own tale, we are doomed to choke to death if this keeps up. But not on snake flesh. On unpleasantness.
So we have compiled a short list of ways to install classiness in every baseball game, so that these intense rivalries become the vacant, lifeless sporting events they were intended to be.
And before you even say, “Hey, asshole. What do you know about class?!” maybe you should read my guide to Meeting a Lady at Citizens Bank Park.