Things got a bit feisty between the two dugouts last night, didn’t they? A lot of words, a lot of posturing, people acting all like, “HOLD ME BACK, MAN! HOLD ME BACK!” In other words, a typical night outside a New Jersey guido bar.

Some disturbing information to note…

• Last night was Jamie Moyer’s 2nd poor postseason performance in a row, and he’s getting perceptibly worse. This by no means diminishes the fantastic regular season he had, but lately Moyer has looked like… well, like a 45-year-old pitcher. If this series goes to six (or, God forbid, seven) games, will he be the one we’re counting on to pitch us into the World Series?
• The Dodgers have now scored five or more runs two games in a row against Phillies starters, all by the fourth inning. Overall, they have outscored the Phillies 14-13, and 10-2 since the fourth inning of Friday’s game.
• Rollins, Victorino, Feliz, Werth and Howard are all hitting below .200 through the first three games of this series.

Tonight: Game 4. Joe Blanton vs. Derek Lowe.  Does this make anyone a bit nervous? I know Blanton’s pitching has been stronger since his arrival in Philly, but we’re talking about a pissed-off, playoff-seasoned pitcher in Lowe, who will relish the fact that the Phillies’ bats won’t have the cozy dimensions of Citizen’s Bank Park to bail them out this time.

I’m not sure who would benefit more from tomorrow’s off day. If the Phillies win tonight, they know no matter what happens in Game 5 they just need to take 1 of 2 back at the Bank. For that to happen, though, would mean that the Phillies managed to break this nagging, persistent trend of the home team never losing.

If the Dodgers even the series tonight, the off day can help them ride the momentum and prepare for a third and final game in front of a rabid fan base. And by rabid, I mean “sticks around until the bottom of the eighth inning.” (Ba-ZING!)

The captain has not turned off the “Don’t Panic” sign yet, so don’t interpret these observations as some harbinger of doom. Still, a win tonight would loosen the sphincters of many a fan who have seen these opportunities slip away with Philly teams in the past. (Hopefully not too loose. That could get messy.)

GO PHILS!

Phillies vs. Brewers. Yuengling vs. Miller. The #2 heroin capital vs. the cheese capital. Credit to the people at FOX Sports for the useless city comparison. Scooter the Talking Baseball will take it from here.

The last time the Brewers made the playoffs, Jamie Moyer and John McCain were spreading deadly strains of SuperAIDS to the American Indian (double old guy zing!!), Michael Phelps and Dane Cook had yet to double-handedly ruin comedy, and your author for this post wouldn’t exist as a chromosome in his dad’s sack for another five years or so.

The last time the Phillies made the playoffs (last year, dumbass), HDYSR? wasn’t sweating through two shirts per diem, the ‘gigantic fat fuck’ tag didn’t exist, and Clay Aiken was telling us “vagina is delicious”.

[You're welcome I didn't do the price of gas, price of milk, #1 song reminder, known in the sports journalism world as the 'computer-graphic cunt punch']

Now, while most of us couldn’t locate Milwaukee on a map (pretty sure it’s in Alabama or Bulgaria), we know who the Milwaukee Brewers are. Now, dipshits like Tim McCarver and whatever set of losers TBS trots out will bombard us with the ‘Baby Brewers’, the ‘House Money’ reference, and the ‘Pubeless Power Brigade’.

The Brewers are a good young team, but the Phillies should win in 4. As long as the Brewers don’t start Tim Redding, this offense should be capable of beating an inexperienced team. End in-depth analysis and statistical breakdown. Scooter will now tell you what a fastball is. And Joe Buck will find it hilarious in an unfunny, ironic way (where’s that cunt punch when you need it?).

Bring on the [ESPN's] C[h]ubbies. I only hope I bracketed that right.

Try as they might — and they had their chances — the Braves could not stop the Philly juggernaut. Now 5-1 against Atlanta, the boys from Yankeeland head further south (and gosh, what a perfect time to do so!) as they engage the Fish Sticks on a three-game visit beginning tomorrow night. The Fightin’s have now won four in a row, eight of their last ten, and 12 of their last 14 games. Mmm-hm.

The Phillies are, as of this morning, one of just four teams in all the majors with a winning percentage of .600 or better (39-26). That puts them on pace for 97 wins, which should be plenty to win the NL East. Am I jinxing these guys by writing that? Nooooo, don’t be ridiculous. This team is too good to worry about what some pansy-ass blogger thinks about their chances.

In Bill Conlin’s article this morning, the Venerable One writes that this year’s Phillies may feature the most potent offense of his lifetime, even surpassing the Luzinski-and-Schmidt-led powerhouse that was the 1977 team.

But while the offense remains the hot ticket this season, Philly’s pitching is gaining respectability as well. Their staff ERA is 3.84, 5th best in the National League. Brad Lidge has been as close to perfect as you could hope for a reliever to be with 17 of the team’s 19 saves, putting Lidge one save behind league leader Kerry Wood and elevating him to fifth-ranked in the majors overall. His ERA is a Mariano-DuncanRivera-in-his-prime 0.96; on the road, Lidge has 10 saves with an ERA of 0.64. (Albert WHO-jols?)

Christ… even Eaton and Myers have decided to quit fucking around and grace us with excellent pitching performances. In his last three starts, Eaton surrendered just 5 earned runs in 18 2/3 innings pitched (a 2.41 ERA), winning two of those starts. Ratbeard himself sports a 3.62 ERA in his last four games, and his 1-3 record over that stretch can be blamed mostly on the offense getting uncharacteristically shut out twice.

This 21-game crucible which leads up to the All-Star Break has proceeded in spectacular fashion. Sweeping one of the league’s best home teams bodes well for the Fightin’s. I for one will look back with fondness on Poor Kelly Johnson’s fateful botch of what should have been a game-clinching pop fly. How fortunate that this was the first game following J-Roll’s benching for not legging out a caught fly ball, since Carlos Ruiz came within seconds of making those extra innings unnecessary!

(I’m still amazed at how Friday night’s game concluded, with Johnson’s drop and Victorino’s bullet to prevent the tying run… I mean, shit — if that fails to make the highlight reel at the end of what could be their championship season, I cannot wait to see what does.)

Tonight the Phillies set up camp in the underwater city of Atlanta to begin a three-day defense of their division lead. Despite losing six of their last ten games, the Braves are still 3 games over .500 and just 3.5 behind Philly.

If you do some quick math, you’ll realize that even if Atlanta sweeps the series they will still trail the Fightin’s by half a game. However, Florida is just 2.5 games back and hosting the ever-unpredictable Cincinnati Reds. The good news is that the Phillies need only to win one of the next three games to get out of Georgia still ahead of the pack.

Considering the sheer brutality of their upcoming schedule, however, Philly better steal as many victories as they can. Fifteen of the next 21 games are on the road, and not one of their upcoming opponents currently sports a losing record (Texas comes close at 31-31). This brutal stretch of their schedule is bookended by three-game visits to Atlanta, who currently boast the stingiest pitching staff in the National League.

That isn’t to say that things get much easier once this gauntlet is run; the 10-game homestand which follows will host the Mets, St. Louis and the suddenly-stumbling Arizona Diamondbacks. Then, mercifully, comes the All-Star Break.

Buckle your seatbelt. This is where the ride gets bumpy.

It looked at first as if the Marlins would leave the Bank victimizing our last two starting pitchers early on. But Geoff “LEEROYYY” Jenkins and Pat Burrell held a meeting in the dugout, said “Fuck this,” and drove in the runs that tied and then won today’s game, respectively. As a result, Philly’s 7-5 victory restores their half-game lead over Florida at the top of the NL East.

After getting smacked around for five earned runs, Grampy Moyer settled down and ended his day with a team-best sixth “W.” Credit Charlie Manuel for having faith in his boy (if you can call a 45-year-old man a “boy”) and letting Moyer pitch his way out of trouble. That makes 18 come-from-behind victories for the Fightin’s, who lead the league in that category.

It looked for a moment as if Tom Gordon might give back the lead in the eighth inning, but after a pep talk from reigning MVP/golden god Jimmy Rollins, Flash struck out his man on three straight pitches and locked it down for the rest of the inning. (A shiny gold coin to anyone who can read lips and tell us what J-Roll said to Gordon on the mound. Please tell me it involved the phrase “those motherfuckers.”)

Brad Lidge got the save, which did not come without its own brief twinge of agita when Dan “Butt” Uggla smacked what looked like a double at best/home run at worst into left center field. But Burrell’s defensive replacement, T-Bone, put that fear to rest with a running grab.

The Philly bullpen continues to confound the opposition, and got their first save since last weekend. To be fair, though, save opportunities have been few and far between since the offense became absolutely unholy to opposing pitchers.

Next up on the Phillies’ home stand are four games against the Cincinnati Reds, winners of three straight and seven of their last ten. Arroyo faces Kendrick, who will try to avoid being the pitcher who surrenders Junior Griffey home run Number 600.

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