…he’s a dipshit, fuckface, assmunch. Larry “Chipper” Jones decided to open his little bitch mouth recently, and suprisingly, didn’t injure it whilst speaking. Ask for douchedom, and thou shalt receive:

We won for 14 consecutive years, and you never, ever saw any bulletin board material. And now that these two teams are on top of the division, they can’t keep their mouths shut. Just go play baseball. It’s Cole Hamels now. It was Jimmy Rollins and Carlos Beltran the past couple of springs. These two teams are constantly going at each other verbally. You know, win with class, lose with class. Just keep your mouth shut and go play your game.

Hey, nutsack-face, why don’t you play a fucking full season before you talk shit on our shit.  Maybe once you and that fat wife-beating fuck of a manager can survive an entire season without you rupturing each other’s anuses, you’ll have something to talk about.

*FAKE UPDATE: Chipper broke 3 bones in his ear by picking up the phone too quickly*

And don’t you dare talk shit on Cole Hamels. Cole Hamels is the closest thing there is to a deity. Fuck you, Larry Jones, eat piss. You just jealous that your fans don’t give a shit. Enjoy your NASCAR rivalries, and learn to keep your fucking mouth shut and play your game when you are the defending WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS.

From Wikipedia:

The nickname “Chipper” came from family members who felt he was a “chip-off-the-old-block” of his father.

Here’s hoping Cole Hamels takes a chip off your blockhead in ‘09! Ass.

Bewbs after the jump:

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