New York Yankees right fielder Nick Swisher sure thinks highly of himself, don’t he?

The soon-to-be journeyman player was giving interviews from his posh locker at the Yankee Stadium clubhouse yesterday (nice newspaper clippings, asshole) with an obnoxious message on his computer screen that read, “Hello My Name Is Swagger.” I’d imagine that if you really had swagger, people would just be able to figure it out by your demeanor and, in this case, your production on the baseball field. 

If you have to post it in your locker while you are being interviewed?  You’re probably just a shitdick who thinks he has swagger.

Honest to God, even if this Swisher character had the swagger-like numbers of, say, Chase Utley, it would still be a douchey move.  But throw in the fact that he fucking sucks, and it’s borderline laughable.  Really, what are people even interviewing him for? What insight could he possibly have to offer?

Just for your amusement, check out Nick Swisher’s swaggerlicious career postseason numbers:  A .162 avg in 23 games?  Holy fuck, that’s swagger!  Howsabout a nice THREE runs batted in?  SWAGGER!  .265 SLG%?  I’m surprised he hasn’t OD’d on swagger yet!  Stupid mohawk?  TRENDY SWAGGER!!!

Dear Lord, if you’re listening, please let the Phillies beat this completely unlikeable Yankees team.

Thank you.

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