I’m sorry for posting this mere hours before the Phillies kick off the NLCS, but I couldn’t help myself.

Pictured here is New York Mets pitcher Ambiorix Burgos who was in his hometown of Nagua, northeastern Dominican Republic last night for a court hearing.  The judge in his case threw him in jail for 3 months while he awaits trial for (allegedly) killing two women in a hit-and-run accident.  But that’s not what we should be focusing on here — he’s on his way to court wearing a White Sox cap (he’s obviously embarrassed that he’s a Met) and a t-shirt that says,

“I GOT THAT QUACK, QUACK, QUAAACK!”

I have no idea what that means (crack? ducats?), but rest assured I will be saying it for at least the next month.

Now carry on with your pre-game festivities.

(Thanks to ‘Duk of BLS for scouring the AP photo wire)

Stop me if you heard this one before…

So, the Mets are playing their final game of the season at home, right?

If they win the game — no matter what — the worst that can happen is they force a 1-game playoff the following day to determine who will play in the NLDS.

Only the Florida Marlins stand in their way.

Well, long story short, the Mets lose and the team that they needed to lose, wins.

NO POSTSEASON FOR YOU!

(Fantastic screen capture courtesy of The Kreesh)

“…thankfully, we still have plenty of bubblegum.”

In case you lame-o’s need a reference, you’re gonna have to make it past this jump.

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After Loss, Mets’ Lead Has Shrunk to a Fraction | New York Times (via Deadspin)

I have always accused the Metros of having female reproductive systems — and I’m usually not that polite about it — but I think now we finally have proof. Check out this undoctored, closed-captioned screenshot from the Mets/Phillies game on Tuesday night to see what I’m talking about:

Their “Hot Streak Ovulate” sounds like some sick mating ritual that really shouldn’t be discussed during a baseball game. Just a friendly reminder that if you’re a dude looking to bang a member of the Mets — be careful, they’re awfully fertile this time of the month.

(Captured by the keen eye of my new favorite Fightins reader, Ryan Roat)

Without question, the best part about coming from behind to beat the Metros is watching their loser fans react to the inevitable, and last night was no exception.

In the fifth inning, when the Fightins’ were in the midst of coming back from their early 7-0 deficit, Ryan Howard jumped on an outside fastball delivered by the no-longer-intimidating Pedro Martinez. The astute CW57 cameraman must have been scoping out the angriest of the Metro fan prior to the blast, and immediately cut to a volatile gentleman who most likely dropped some major cash for a first row seat. Around the :22 second mark, you can clearly see Mr. Temper mouth some expletives before becoming so enraged, he just gets up out of his seat and walks out.

hahahaah:

“Hey. It’s brad. Now that the mets are spanking them no need to guest post.”

At 9:42 PM (when the Phillies cut the lead to 7-6):

“Okay. I take it back.

“Too late,” I replied. Didn’t these Mets fans learn anything from last year?

Game time on The Fightins dot com!

Ready?

Okay, multiple choice — what at-bat music did Damion Easley come to the plate to last night?

Was it,

a.) “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer

b.) “2 Legit 2 Quit” by Hammer

c.) “Jitterbug” by Wham!

d.) “I Wanna Sex You Up” by Color Me Badd

Answer, after the jump!

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The only thing I hate more than cats are the Mets.

Watch as my two least favorite things converge in one clip:

Cause he should kill himself.

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