I know no one wants to hear about the Mets any more than they absolutely have to, but this is something that has to be put out there and will be the last of the Mets talk I promise. Recently in an interview with The Sporting News Roy Halladay was asked who the best pitcher in the NL East was. Here was his response:

“I’d never vote for myself,” Halladay, 32, told the magazine when asked whether he was the best pitcher in the NL East.

He said New York Mets lefthander Johan Santana”has always been fun to watch. The way Cole pitched in the playoffs a couple of years ago and at times last year, I think he’s up there. Some of the Marlins’ younger guys are scary - Josh Johnson. There’s a lot of talent.”

Notice no mention of himself. Halladay prefers his talking to be done on the field, unlike one of the pitchers he had just complimented, one Johan Santana. According to Brian Costa, Mets beat writer for the Star Ledger, when asked the same question Santana had this to say:

“Santana”

Nice. Now please follow me ATJ for more proof than you actually need as to why Halladay is, in fact, the better pitcher.

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According to Star Ledger Mets beat reporter Brian Costa, David Wright had this little nugget to say to reporters today:

“We expect to win the National League East.”

That statement literally makes me want to hop in my roflcopter and fly straight to lmaoland to ride the lollercoaster. Now you could say “Well, what is he supposed to say? We don’t expect to win?” and the answer is, yes. After three straight embarrassing years you would think someone on the Mets would learn to dodge such statements and just stick with the cliches. At least he didn’t say they are the team to beat? Then again, there’s still plenty of time for Jason Bay to say that.

Don’t fack with Chan Ho Park.

“The suit claims Park loaned Kreuter $460,000 in October 2005 to be repaid a year later with interest. Park alleges Kreuter paid back $290,000 in April 2007 and the unpaid balance has grown, with interest, to $281,869.73 as of Dec. 1.”

Hey, Chan Ho! Don’t ever lend 460,000 of anything (let alone our weak-ass national fiat currency) to anyone. If you fail to heed my sound advice, make sure that when you get the promissory note signed, witnessed and notarized, that it’s on paper that is safe for septic systems.

What’s going to happen is this: dude won’t pay you back like promised, you’re going to sue, AP will pick up the story, and some smart-ass on the internet is going to open his Google Reader a week after the story has gone cold. Once this happens, he will use this as an opportunity to tell you to get your head out of your ass and re-sign with the Phillies as a reliever.

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Wake up, shitdick! You’re on TV!

(via UniWatch)

Want to buy some of Lenny Dykstra’s shit?

No, not literally.

The NY Daily News reported that Nails is auctioning his $20,000 1986 World Series ring in order to pay off the shitload of people he kinda-sorta ripped off. I might buy it just so I can melt it down to make that grill I need to complete my homage to Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Oh, and did I mention the faulty math on the ring? Take a gander:

Unless I’m missing something, 1986 was that team’s 24th anniversary, not their 25th. Anyhow…

Lest I expose my “inferiority complex” any further, I’ll get right down to the stuff you actually would care to buy (starting bid in parenthesis):

• 1990 All-Star Game Ring ($475)
• 1993 NLCS Ring ($2,600)
• 1994 All-Star Game Ring ($400)
• 1995 All-Star Game Ring ($400)
• 1993-2002 Team-Signed Baseballs – Lot of 4 ($375)
• 1993-95 Signed, Game-Issued Dykstra Bats ($375)

All of these items and more are available now at Heritage Auction Galleries.

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Good ol’ Davey Wright must got his feelings hurt by all those mean Mets fans who were saying bad things about his HUGE helmet the other night, so when he came to the plate in last night’s game, he wore a variation of the hideous Rawlings S100.

Behold… THE DOUBLE FLAP!

So it appears as if the Dark Helmet/Great Gazoo jokes have to be put on hold until he wises up and chooses to switch back. Until then, courtesy of intuitive commenter and spot-on Wheels impersonator D.Whitmore, we have his new doppelgänger.

Mega Man:

In an un-The Fightins like maneuver, I had a personal embargo against Mets posts here for a while on the site. I just felt with all the injuries and shit they’ve had this year that it really wasn’t fun to laugh at them while they were trotting out the Fernando Tatis’ of the world as their number three hitter…

…but then David Wright had to get activated from the DL and wear this helmet:

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHAH
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHH
AHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA

*catches breath*

BWAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA
AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAH
AHHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAH
AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

I love Urban Dictionary. This tidy little definition is from March 2009. Click the screengrab below to be magically whisked away to the source.

And with that, it’s time to take three outta four from this Shiti Mets team at their Shiti Field because CLIFTON PHIFER LEE is on the cot damn hill and Eric Bruntlett is in the lineup, baby!

I’m thinking as an encore to his 3-hit, unassisted triple play day, he can play a different position for the first eight innings and then close ‘em out as a reliever in the ninth. How say you?

Photo: Flickr user kevc19

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