Just because Kyle Kendrick was left off the 2008 playoff roster doesn’t mean his ladyfriend should stop rooting for her man. Below is a picture from the first half of Game 5 of the World Series where Kendrick’s girl, Survivor-alum Stephenie LaGrossa (middle), is photographed with 2005 AVN winner for best Gonzo Film, Gina Lynn, and GN Kang, co-host of Wired 96.5’s morning show:

Not for nothing, Kyle — I like the way your girl rolls and all — but if she’s gonna get Louis Vuitton’d up, you gotta at least get her the authentic jersey:

Photos taken (with love) from GN Kang’s website

After the jump, a brief YouTube clip of the girls in action. (Unfortunately, not like that)

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The rapid decline of Kyle Kendrick continues…

After batting practice yesterday, pitching coach Rich Dubee informed the floundering soph that he would not only be left off the playoff roster for the NLDS, but he was being sent to Miami to hone his skills in the Florida International League. From the Daily News:

“We made the decision he’s not going to be in the rotation,” Dubee said. “He’s not going to break into the bullpen, the way the guys are throwing down there. We have to have some type of protection if we have an injury.

“Having him down there serves two purposes,” Dubee continued. “One: He keeps his arm going in case we do need him. Two: He can start doing some of the things he needs to do to be a better pitcher.”

Ouch.  Just a few short months ago, Kendrick was a valuable piece in the Phillies rotation as he notched his 2nd straight season of 10+ wins.  Then, right around the time he was rumored to be dating Survivor’s Stephenie LaGrossa, Kendrick began getting shelled on a regular basis. The Phillies finally saw enough, and he was replaced by J.A. Happ.

Hang in there Kyle, we’ll see you next Spring Training.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, Adam Eaton didn’t make it either.  YAY!

Phillies Notebook: Kendrick off Phillies playoff roster, will head to Instructional League | Daily News

[Citizen's Bank Park, Monday afternoon team practice]

Charlie Manuel: Kendrick! Just the man I was looking for. Let’s mosey on over to my office for a chat.

Kyle Kendrick: Be right there, Skip, just let me throw one more pitch. [Kendrick throws and gives up three earned runs despite nobody on base] OK, I’m ready.

[In Manuel's office]

CM: Well, son, there ain’t no good way to say it, so I’ll just say it: You’re being pulled from Wednesday night’s start against the Braves. Happ here’s going to take your place.

KK: Oh, come on, Skip! Look, I know I’ve struggled a bit lately but don’t you think this is kind of hasty? My numbers on the road are bound to improve, and — wait a second…

CM: What?

KK: I see what you’re up to. Very clever, Skip.

CM: What’s clever?

KK: Let me guess: You call me in here like you did last time, when you told me I was getting traded to Japan, you watch me shit my pants, and then Brett Myers falls out from behind that plant over there with a camcorder and everybody starts laughing their ass off.

CM: Ain’t no joke, son. Look around. Myers ain’t even here.

KK: HA HA HA HA HA! I can’t believe I was about to fall for that again! You guys are good. You are really, really…

KK: Ah-ha, ha ha…

KK: Um… Happ?

[Happ stares awkwardly at the floor]

KK: Oh, you fuckers. [Storms out]

CM: That reminds me… [picks up phone, dials number of Yomiuri Giants GM] Konnichiwa,  Makato-san! You still interested in that right-hander? Alright then, same deal as before: two jars of wasabi, a rub-and-tug girl for the players and he’s all yours. Domou; pleasure doin’ business with you!

One thing about last night is for certain: If we’re depending on a team that is 30 games under .500 to bail us out of trouble, we are in some serious trouble.

At this point Kyle Kendrick is a bona fide liability, with a capital “L.” (A more appropriate letter doesn’t exist.) There goes my theory that Kendrick performs better at home! The next time he’s called into Charlie Manuel’s office and told he’s going to Japan — well, Kendrick better start packing, because it won’t be a joke.

Happ, Kendrick’s possible replacement in the order, didn’t look much better last night, but it was pretty damned hard to look worse. A valiant effort by the offense and four innings of shutout baseball from the bullpen wasn’t enough to rally back in Florida’s 10-8 victory last night.

Meanwhile, up in New York, it looked for a brief time as if the Mets might fall to the Nationals, but three runs in the sixth inning secured them the victory. The Mets bullpen, now permanently missing Wagner but somehow incredibly better, held down their 10-8 lead. Delgado was once again a monster, with two home runs and three RBI; it was his second consecutive multi-home run game.

So, here’s the situation: The Phillies are 2.5 games behind the Mets with 17 games to play (New York has 18 games left). However… the Mets have Santana and the Phillies have — Hamels? Myers? Moyer? Will any or all of them be enough? Is Blanton going to do what he was brought here to do and eat some damned innings already?

And just what do the Phillies do about the Kendrick situation? If he stays in the rotation, they have no shot at winning the division, or even a wild card for that matter. It’s either Happ, or Eaton, and given what I know about Eaton I’ll take my chances with Happ.

The offense, the starters and the bullpen all have to show up together, in every game, for the rest of the season. Two out of three won’t cut it: Last night the starter failed miserably, and the other two elements couldn’t overcome the damage. This is not how you earn a trip to the postseason.

It ain’t over ’till it’s over, a wise man once said, but man, is it getting close.

After two fairly impressive home starts to offset his hiccups out West, new Phillies forum whipping-boy Kyle Kendrick has laid another egg outside the comforts of familiar territory. Against the lowly(?) Nats Kendrick surrendered six runs, all earned, before the fifth inning of a 7-4 loss. As for strikeouts — well, let’s just say that Kendrick has more K’s in his last name than he had on the mound yesterday afternoon.

The statistics do not look kindly on Kendrick: at the Bank, he is 5-3 with an ERA OF 3.69. Opposing batters hit a mediocre .267 against him. On the road, however, it is quite a different story: 6-5 with a 5.69 ERA and an opponent’s batting average of .328.

With J.A. Happ and (God help us) Adam Eaton both called up from the minors, we may see Kyle on a very, very short leash from this point forward.

So says Charlie Manuel and pitching coach Rich Dubee “You Be?” to the floundering Kyle Kendrick. Tonight’s game, the first in a four-game rematch against the Los Angeles Dodgers, is Double-K’s first start since returning from a disastrous road trip to the West Coast.

Earlier this month, against L.A. and then the Padres in San Diego, Kendrick was lit up for at least six runs in both starts. The dugout diagnosis is that he is reluctant to throw strikes early on, preferring to have the batter take swings at pitches that fall everywhere but over the plate.

Knowing this, however, smart batters will choose to wait until Kendrick puts himself in a 2-0 hole and is forced to throw a strike. Then the fireworks begin, and it’s another short night for Kyle.

Sooner or later, everyone goes through a slump. (Right, Chase/Ryan/Jimmy?) With pitchers, who only work once every five games, these downward trends stand out more conspicuously, and a couple of bad starts in a row can really mess with the confidence of even the best pitchers (see Sabathia, C.C.). The only person on Earth who can restore Kendrick’s confidence is Kyle himself.

As if to mess with us, the Padres traded Greg Maddux to L.A., just in time for him to make his second appearance of the season in Dodger Blue. Maddux does quite well against Philly, in case you haven’t heard. This means not only does Kendrick need to focus on the strike zone, but the slumbering offense needs to wake up and supply him with some crucial run support.

Game time is at 7:05 PM. The Mets are hosting the mediocre Astros this weekend. Santana’s on the mound for New York tonight. Now is not the time to lose any further ground. Last season was fun but that kind of thing happens rarely… even more so for the Phillies.

ROOT ‘EM IN!

First it was Cole Hamels and Heidi Strobel. Now, Kyle Kendrick wants in on the action. The Phillies 2nd year hurler is reportedly dating Survivor: Palau and Survivor: Guatemala alum, Stephenie LaGrossa.

Just in case you’re like me, and are completely oblivious to anything Survivor-related, here’s a quick reminder of the lady in question:

She doesn’t look so LaGrossa to me - ifyaknowhatimean.

The two met at Old City restaurant Gigi, which LaGrossa co-owns with her brother Phillipp, who spells his name weird. Stephenie, 29, is five years Kyle’s senior and has already been married and divorced — but one peek at that olive skin and tight-ass stomach clearly mesmerized Kyle enough to overlook those negatives.

Atta boy, Kyle!  Another pic, ATJ…

‘Survivor’ catches Phil’s pitch | Michael Klein: Inquirer

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Today’s outing was, without question, Kyle Kendrick’s worst of the season thus far: three innings pitched with six hits, two walks and six earned runs. Four of those runs were surrendered even before the first out of the game was recorded, courtesy of back-to-back jacks by the likes of J.D. (the “D” is for “D-battery”) Drew and Mike Lowell.

The real tragedy is that the bullpen surrendered just one more run over six innings of work and none after the fourth inning, which allowed the offense time to regroup and make a game of it until the very end.

The 7-4 loss knocks the Fightin’s down to 42-32, leaving them 2.5 games up on the Marlins, who play Seattle later today. Oh, and J.D. Drew (4-5, 4RBI, 1 HR) is cordially invited to eat a bag of cocks. That is all.

In this edition of Cribs, Shane Victorino and Kyle Kendrick show off their spacious, 2-bedroom apartment overlooking the gorgeous Delaware River in South Philadelphia. Let’s take a look, shall we?

As you can tell from the video, Shane and Kyle enjoy the highfalutin, extravagant lifestyle so many athletes are accustomed to these days. Their apartment is specifically wired so that each room has a fully-functional electric socket which power the antique lamps that rest on the Brazilian chestnut hardwood flooring. Special “light-switches” have also been installed allowing the flow of electricity to be started almost instantly; saving you the embarrassment of tripping over your unpacked suitcase on the way to click on the lamp.

The living room, or “Theatre room” if you will, features seating for two and an enormous 13-inch projection television that would be perfect if they ever wanted to have the rest of the team over to study game film. Other amenities include walk-in kitchen complete with gas stove and running water, one full bath stocked with Dial soap and toilet paper, and priceless works of framed art strategically scattered amongst the house.

But perhaps their most prized possession rests in the hallway — the highly-coveted 2008 Schedule Magnet, distributed in limited quantities by Southwest Airlines earlier in the year.

Judging by the success these two share off-field, it’s no wonder they’ve made the seamless transition to budding on-field superstars. Hats off to you, Shane & Kyle!

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