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Posts Tagged ‘kyle kendrick sucks’

Jul
07
2011
Posted by Justin at 9:54 am ET 25 Comments

Kyle stormed into his room and kicked the nearest LEGO set with the adorable rage of an irate pony.  The pieces scattered across the floor as several small yellow men looked on in horror at what used to be their home.

Kyle dove onto the bed and buried his face in a pillow, hoping it would smother the sound of his sobs.  A gentle knock on the door caused him to sharply cut off the emotional display.

“Hey, buddy,” came the voice of Phillies bench coach Pete MacKanin through the door.  ”You in there?”

Pete knew he was in there.  Kyle Kendrick’s sobs were often audible all throughout the night when the Phillies stayed in hotels (and probably when they didn’t, but nobody was around to hear them in those cases except his confusingly hot wife). Read more »

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Sep
10
2008
Posted by How do you spell retard? at 8:07 pm ET 20 Comments

Watch your back, dude.Kyle Kendrick sucks, plain and simple. There’s no getting around it. After last night’s shitty outing, Pat Gillick should seriously consider trading him to Japan.

His last 10 starts:

46 IP, 68 hits, 25 walks, 39 earned runs.

In 5 of those starts he has gone 4.1 innings or less and has given up 6 earned runs or more. A mere 0.01 separates his and Adam Eaton’s WHIP. His hits per 9 IP is 0.27 point higher than Eat-dawg’s. He’s gone from the Hayden Panettiere(okay, but vastly overrated) of the Phillies pitching staff to the Bea Arthur of the staff.

Enough of these Tim McCarver/Chris Wheeler bullshit lines like “he goes out there and wins games” or “he’s a gamer” attributed to unathletic white guys (see: David Eckstein, any honky under 6 foot). Kyle Kendrick is awful (WE WANT EATON!…wait, what?)

To make up for the stat geekiness, here’s a Meech-inspired picture of Kristen Bell’s ass(much hotter than Hayden Panettiere).

Read more »

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