With all the sucking the Phillies have been doing lately, it’s kinda hard to pinpoint one sucky player as the reason for their recent downfall. Jimmy Rollins is 0-for-his last 27 with four walks since the 19th of June, Ryan Howard has just one home run in his last 15 games, Pedro Feliz had himself a nice 1-for-23 streak going on up until this week — and that’s not even mentioning any of the shiteous outings from our pitching staff during that time.

Well, all but one. The guy 95% of Philadelphians were ready to anoint as the new closer as soon as Brad Lidge started fucking up, Ryan Madson.

For some reason, ever since our eighth inning specialist was handed the closer’s role after Lidge landed on the DL with a “bum knee”, Ryan Madson been getting knocked around the park like he has “#57 Taschner” on the back of his jersey.

Check out his line since he blew a save against Toronto on June 16th (and I swear to God if any of you fucks talk about a small sample size, I’m gonna track you down by your IP address and punch you in the neck):

6 games, 0-2 record, an NL leading 3 blown saves (in six appearances!), 7.94 ERA, and a little over three baserunners allowed PER INNING. Meanwhile, opponents are batting .346 against him with a .485 OBP, .731 SLG%, and an insane 1.216 OPS.

The question remains though — WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

There are plenty of theories floating around, but if you ask me, Madson has to stop relying on his fastball so much — ESPECIALLY that cutter that hasn’t been cutting since the first month of the season — and get back to throwing the pitch that got him a spot on a major league roster to begin with, that beautiful changeup of his.  I mean, you have a pitch in your arsenal that was the most swung at and missed pitch (percentage-wise) out of any major league pitcher in 2008, and instead of putting hitters away with it, you choose to throw that flat fastball over the middle of the plate to say, a Brian Roberts (hypothetically, of course) with 2 outs and a runner on base while you’re up a run in the bottom of the ninth.

As a matter of fact, I’m sure that’s the reason.

Take a look at this little statistical nugget dug up by Jayson Stark courtesy of those pitch-tracking geeks over at Inside Edge:

Ryan Madson hasn’t gotten a single swing-and-miss on his fastball since Lidge was placed on the DL.

Read that again.  NOT ONE. That’s kinda pathetic.

So Ryan, pretty please, with a fucking cherry on top, start throwing more changeups and stop throwing so many cot damn fastballs.

Your pal,
meechie

ESPN senior writer and former beat writer for the Philadelphia Inquirer, Jayson Stark, was on Sportscenter shortly after the passing of Harry Kalas to talk about the most distinctive voice in Philadelphia history. He summed it up perfectly in two sentences:

“Harry Kalas was baseball in Philadelphia for millions of people.

And the thought of watching Phillies games without that voice is unimaginable for me, and millions of other people who I know.”

Full interview:

From the great Jayson Stark’s “Rumblings & Grumblings” column:

…But that doesn’t mean the Rangers don’t have some interesting pieces on their shelves. Step right up and make an offer for Vicente Padilla, Kevin Millwood, Hank Blalock, Marlon Byrd, Frank Catalanotto or Gerald Laird.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2004 Philadelphia Phillies 2008 Texas Rangers!

(*In all fairness, Padilla is 12-5 this year. That’s far from mediocre.)

Local boy/ ESPN baseball beat reporter Jayson Stark examines the always-mercurial relationship between public perception and certain high-profile baseball managers. Naturally, one of those managers happens to be Charlie Manuel, who since mid-2007 dramatically improved his rating among fans, from “completely shitty” to “not bad.” (Around here that’s as good as it gets.)

Excerpts from Stark’s article:

…In the offseason between the 2006 and 2007 seasons, the people who run the Phillies seriously debated whether to bring their manager back, even after two consecutive seasons in which Manuel’s team stayed in the race into the final weekend…

…You sure don’t hear that old “Charlie from Mayberry” talk about him anymore — not after the Phillies charged back from seven games out with 17 to play last September. And especially not after the events of last Thursday…

…Manuel probably has no idea how much buzz he created inside his own industry with that benching of [Jimmy Rollins]. He should hear the stuff being said about him by people all over the sport. Stuff like: “I’m now a huge Charlie Manuel fan.” And: “Only Charlie could have pulled that off…”

Come on, I’ve always supported Uncle Cholly, haven’t you? Liar.

• dlhunter on Scenes From An NLDS Game 1: Ubaldo Jimenez Makes An Early Exit
• Shawn on Scenes From An NLDS Game 1: Monty G Is In Playoff Form
• Phil 'er up on Scenes From An NLDS Game 1: Ubaldo Jimenez Makes An Early Exit
• Jdashdog on Playoff Diary: Nearly Bartmanesque
• ill on Playoff Diary: Nearly Bartmanesque