At first glance, this screenshot may look innocent enough.  After all, it’s just a young lady sitting in the stands at Citizens Bank Park reading the latest issue of Vanity Fair while her sunglasses protect her precious little eyes from the harmful rays of the Philadelphia sun.  You would most likely assume that this was happening during a lull in game action. In-between innings, perhaps?

YOUR ASSUMPTIONS WOULD BE WRONG.

This was actually taken during the 7th inning of last night’s 9-6 win over the Reds.  And see that portly gentleman wearing the home jersey in front of her?  Well, he just caught a chopper off the bat of Brandon Phillips and the entire section was busy cheering him on and giggling at his “I caught a foul ball!” celebration and it just looked like everyone was having an enjoyable night at the ballpark.  But as the crowd was yukking it up, this Vanity Fair broad just sat there with her nose buried in her stupid magazine.  Not once did she bother to glance up and see what all the commotion was about.

STAY THE FUCK HOME, VANITY FAIR BROAD.

Listen, if you would rather read Vanity Fair with your hood up and sunglasses on at 10 o’clock in the pm rather than watch a baseball game — by all means, feel free to do so.  Just do it in the comfort of your own home and let your poor, poor boyfriend take one of his buddies who might actually, you know, PAY ATTENTION to the fucking game have your $40 seat on the third base line.

Tell you the truth, I don’t even know if my description does the actual clip justice.  So proceed past the jump where I’ve conviently embedded the game film.  My guess is you’re going to hate her more than I do.

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