The Fightins'

Posts Tagged ‘Huffing Game’

Apr
27
2011
Posted by ZWR at 10:18 am ET 69 Comments

The T-Mac Huffing Game

Have you ever watched a Phillies telecast and thought to yourself, “Man, this would be SO much better if I had a Vicks vaporizer and some turpentine?” Well if so, I’ve got a game for you*! That’s right, kids, it’s the Tom McCarthy (T-Mac) Huffing Game!

If being truthful (citing our work, etc) to the point of prudence, the inspiration for this came from the demurely named Tom McCarthy Sucks blog, as they so kindly localized the hate and made fun graphics and such. Heck, maybe now they’ll actually update it or something. NEW ONE! Every time you go to tmacsucks.blogspot.com and it’s not updated, fill your right lung with commercial strength solvent vapor!

Howwwww about that?!

And hey, speaking of awkwardly forced segues, let’s get to the Official game rules, shall we? Without further adieu (sic):

Tom yells at you in a golden-throated, over-modulated voice:
Huff one of those really thick, industrial-sized permanent markers for 10 seconds

Tom breaks Wheels’ balls over the trivia question:
Go to the fridge and do a blast from the aerosolized whipped cream

Tom starts a sentence with, “Heyyyy!”:
Dip an old t-shirt into a bucket of chloroform and it hold it to your face for 5 seconds

Tom proclaims unconvincingly, “Howwww about that?!!”:
Insert your entire head in a gallon-sized freezer bag of a paint thinner

Tom forces a segue to an on-air ad read, saying, “Speaking of…[hardly related topic]…, …”:
Spray oven cleaner directly into your mouth

Tom talks for an entire inning without breathing:
Zip yourself in a Dryel bag filled halfway with formaldehyde

Tom says “red hot”:
Duct tape a sandwich baggie of nail polish remover over your face like a surgical mask

Tom says or does something to Sarge that leaves you rooting for an assault:
Shoot computer keyboard cleaner directly up your nose (one nostril)

Tom cackles a phony used car salesman laugh at something that wasn’t all that funny:
Shut all the doors and windows in your house or apartment, turn the A/C up to high, and pour turpentine directly in your vents

Tom emotes positively for the other team:
Lock yourself in a closet, put a towel along the floor to prevent fresh air from sneaking in, and steam a bucket of ammonia.

That should do it, kids. If you think up anymore, leave them in the comments.

Phillies TV broadcasts are going to be so much more fun now–you won’t even have a reason to mute them and put on the radio!

* Note: Neither ZooWithRoy.com or TheFightins.com (publicly) endorses inhalant abuse. The preceding has been a work of satire. Don’t do drugs.

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