If there is one thing I’ve learned in life, it is that old people are miserable, rude, ornery, disrespectful, rude people. After the quote w’all heard from Muffin Wheeler during Sunday’s telecast, the Phillies seem to be in high spirits. Pedro is here! I have no problem moving to the bullpen! That midget is 3 and a half feet under (get it!), so we don’t have to install those infant urinals!

Well, most were in good spirits:

“Jamie Moyer said Tuesday that he is “not happy” with the Phillies’ decision to demote him to the bullpen in favor of Pedro Martinez.He described himself as “disheartened” and said he had been reassured by the front office during the offseason that such a scenario “would not happen.”

“I feel a little like I’ve been misled,” he said.”

Hey brah, didn’t you just say three days ago that you were happy with your career? Oh yeah, you did.  Some shit about how he’s glad just to be pitching and is really satisfied with his life right now. Anyone who watched the Sunday telecast heard Moyer say he was just jazzed about his place right now.

So don’t get your pantaloons in a knot, Grampy Moyer. You suck right now, so let’s see what P-Mart can give us. Talk tough when you aren’t giving up 11 hits in 5 innings of pitching.

Katy Perry’s baby feeders after the jump:

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