The Fightins'

Posts Tagged ‘Game Thread’

Jun
19
2011
Posted by Chris at 3:19 pm ET 26 Comments

4:10PM on PHL17

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Cole Hamels (9-2) 2.49 ERA

PHILLIES: Cole Hamels in Safeco. Probably a complete game shut out. Funny that the Phillies have the best 1-2 punch in baseball and that 1-2 punch doesn’t include Cliff Lee, but rather Coal Hammels.

Jason Vargas (4-4) 4.13 ERA

MARINERS: I didn’t know Jason Vargas was still pitching. Hopefully he still sucks.

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Jun
18
2011
Posted by Chris at 9:13 pm ET 79 Comments

10:10PM on CSN

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Vanimal (2-1) 3.75 ERA

PHILLIES: Worley was sent down after his start against the Mets where he gave up 8 runs in 3 innings, but while in Lehigh Valley he strung together some good starts and now gets the call today with the Phillies needing a pitcher after the double header Wednesday.

MARINERS: I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this but he’s really good. This probably won’t end well.

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Jun
17
2011
Posted by Chris at 9:29 pm ET 93 Comments

10:10PM on CSN

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Roy Oswalt (4-4) 3.14 ERA

PHILLIES: Seriously is it just me at this point or does it still seem like Oswalt pitches once a month? I don’t know, none of you are reading this anyway. It’s 9:30 on a Friday night.

Michael Pineda (6-4) 2.72 ERA

MARINERS: Thankfully no one is seeing this, because honestly a fucking panini was the best I could do. I’m really sorry.

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Jun
16
2011
Posted by Ryan at 12:45 pm ET 45 Comments

1:05 PM on CSN

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Cliff Lee (6-5, 3.41 ERA)

PHILLIES: The Phillies have been sick, sick, sick lately. A win today would give them a four-game series sweep over the Marlins and put them on a seven-game winning streak before going out west for some interleague play. The team’s bats have seemingly come alive after a stretch where some claimed the sky was falling. This team has been great to watch, lately. They’re the feel good hit of the summer.

Javier Vazquez

Javy Jazquez (3-6, 7.09 ERA)

MARLINS: The Fish have been turning on the screw lately; losing 9 of their last 10 games. No one knows what you’ll get out of Javier; he’s had a no-decision and a loss in his two other starts against the team. The Marlins were off to a hot start, and realistically this is a team that could get back in the NL East picture if only they could string together some wins.

Uhhhh… 3′s & 7′s.


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Jun
15
2011
Posted by Chris at 1:00 pm ET 92 Comments

1:05PM and 7:05PM on CSN

PITCHING MATCHUPS:

Kyle Kendrick (3-4 3.47 ERA)

PHILLIES: I had tickets to this game when it got rained out the first time. That night Roy Halladay was supposed to pitch. Now I’m stuck with Kendrick. Seriously bad luck.

Elih Villanueva (0-0) 0.00 ERA

MARLINS: When you say his first name it sounds like you are sneezing.

Roy Halladay (9-3) 2.39 ERA

PHILLIES: So instead of whining about it, I bought tickets to the night game too.

Anibal Sanchez (6-1) 3.06 ERA

MARLINS: No that’s not Anibal Sanchez. But I Googled his name and a picture of Jamie Moyer showed up and it made me kinda miss him.

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Jun
14
2011
Posted by Ryan at 6:16 pm ET 64 Comments

7:05 PM on PHL 17

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Colbert Michael Hamels (8-2, 2.58 ERA)

PHILLIES: Do me a favor: if you see Marcus Hayes in the next couple of days, smack him upside the head. My man Swift said on Twitter this evening that Hayes suggested Hamels pitch out of the bullpen come playoff time. That’s… mindblowingly retarded. Hamels has been phenomenal so far this season. As we close in on the all-star break, he’s at the forefront of the NL  Cy Young picture. What on Earth wouldn’t you want this dude taking the mound come playoff time?

Chris Volstad (2-6, 5.51 ERA)

MARLINS: Volstad’s a bit of a GILF, but I bet he makes a mean mac-and-cheese casserole. Aside from that, the Fish have activated Hanley Ramirez from the 15-day DL and he’ll be starting and batting leadoff tonight. Adjust your fantasy roster accordingly.

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Jun
12
2011
Posted by Ryan at 12:32 pm ET 29 Comments

1:35 PM on CSN

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Roy Oswalt (3-4, 3.05 ERA)

PHILLIES: Look, I’m going to be honest with you: this is going to be the worst Game Thread ever. I’m still kind of hungover from yesterday’s Fightins Tailgate. For some reason, I’m sore from head to toe. I’m kind of embarrassed about some of the things I did and said. I want to personally apologize to Zaki from Philly Gameday for constantly referring to him as “Philly LAMEday”. I want to apologize to Cranekicker for pissing on his foot after the game. I apologize to the Inquirer’s John Gonzalez for all of the racial slurs, most of which I think I made up on the spot. Also, I’m sorry for trying to make out with your fiancee. (Call me, Colleen.) Finally, I’m really sorry to my colleague ZWR for hitting you in the face with a wiffleball bat during our game. Repeatedly. And intentionally.

Oh, and, uh, Roy O hasn’t won a game since April 21st. The Phils have scored just 8 runs in his starts.

Doug Davis’s Ridiculous Soul Patch (0-5, 6.38 ERA)

CUBS: Seriously. Look at that thing. Who could possibly take him seriously looking like that?

Now please excuse me as I go back to delicately sipping Gatorade, swallowing Advil by the fistful, and trying not to vomit any time I think of beer.

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Jun
11
2011
Posted by Danger Guerrero at 12:15 pm ET 36 Comments


4:05 on FOX and MLB.TV

Note: Your usual open-thread overlords Chris and Ryan are at Fightins Tailgate 2: Tailgate Harder, along with Meech, ZWR, and all the other cool kids. I really wanted to be there, but I had prior obligations to do dork stuff with nerds. Maybe I’ll make it next year for Fightins Tailgate: Tokyo Drift.

But instead of wallowing in self-pity, let’s look at the bright side. With everybody away, we’ve got full run of this place today. Think of it like your parents went away, and I’m your cool older brother. Call your friends, get a couple kegs, and send someone on a run across the bridge to grab a handle of Everclear. Invite that one cute girl/guy. You know the one I’m talking about. Let’s burn this mother to the ground.

One rule: No screwing on my bed.

PITCHING MATCHUP

CLIFF LEE (5-5) 3.62 ERA

PHILLIES: Conservative statistical estimates for today’s game: Cliff Lee – 9 IP, 0 R, 0 H, -4 BB, 24 K. Dom Brown – 12-12, 15 HR, 34 RBI. Chooch – 8-8, 2 2B, 1 PreciousPostgameInterview.

MATT GARZA (2-5) 4.07 ERA

CUBS: Conservative statistical estimates for today’s game: Matt Garza – 1 IP, 1 Frillon R, Tenfinity H, Dozens BB, Pfft K. Starlin Castro – 0-3, 3 K, 1 LookLikeA12YearOld.

Jun
10
2011
Posted by Chris at 6:08 pm ET 77 Comments

7:05PM on CSN and MLB Network

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Roy Halladay (8-3) 2.56 ERA

PHILLIES: I fucking love Roy Halladay.

Carlos Zambrano (5-2) 3.98 ERA

CUBS: Unlike Roy Halladay, I really REALLY hate Zambrano. He is quite possibly the biggest douche in baseball. With any luck the Phillies light him up and he beats the shit out of a Gatorade thingy in the dugout, because those don’t hit back.

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Jun
09
2011
Posted by Ryan at 5:23 pm ET 170 Comments

7:05 PM on CSN and MLB Network

PITCHING MATCHUP:

(sigh)

Kyle Kendrick (3-4, 3.78 ERA)

PHILLIES: Tickets for this game were going for like a nickel on StubHub. For some reason, nobody wanted to part with their hard-earned cash to go see Kyle Kendrick pitch in temperatures that rival that of the inside of a toaster oven. I’ll be watching it from the comfort of my couch, probably while pants-less. You’re welcome for that image, ladies.

Randy Wells (1-1, 5.74 ERA)

CUBS: Prediction: The Phillies win this game after Cubs skipper Mike Quade walks out to exchange lineups, feels the heat, says “Fuck this, we forfeit.” It’s my LEAD PIPE LOCK!

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