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Posts Tagged ‘fuck Hideki’

Posted by at 10:38 pm ET 124 Comments

What Went Wrong is a feature that may or may not be recurring because the collective mind rape of taking max credits and working a full time job will eventually cause the ‘Tard to implode into himself and forget about this.
If I’ve learned anything from my global travels and travails, it is that there are 2 things that everyone likes: spreadsheets *raises the roof for Excel* and titties. Everything on this plane of existence can be explained through nipples and correlation coefficients, so let me elaborate on why the WFC faltered to the cockgobbling Yankees.

Cole Hamels pitched like a total nutsac this season.Every cotdamn good start (very few of ‘em) would cause the John “rape me with a pitchfork” Clark and the 610 losers to slough off the epithelial layer of Cole’s aforementioned nutsac. They’d use this skin to cook their hobo chili and most fans would slurp it up like Tripp Eisen with a bucketful of 14 year old vaginal squirtings. Cole was extraordinarily inconsistent last year, a shutout followed by a 7 run outing. Terry Schiavo’s pussy could have been a less infuriating pitcher. But let me use pictures to explain, rather than those “words” that only old old people use these days. 2 generations of Titties and graphs after the jump:

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