Good luck.

If you’re anything like me (baseball junkie, connoisseur of fine blogs, devastatingly handsome, fan of teh funny), you’ve no doubt sampled the comedic stylings of Ken Tremendous, Junior, and dak — better known as the crew over at Fire Joe Morgan. Well today, ladies and gentlemen, it is with great sorrow that I bring you the news that the FJM crew have decided to hang up their 1936 Underwood typewriters and call it a blogging career.

Before I ever heard of Deadspin, or hadn’t the slightest idea as to what a “blog” was (seriously it was only like 3 years ago), I recall the only two stops in my baseball innanet perusal being Progressive Boink’s The Dugout and a site with the most-simple of designs and a knack for calling out lazy journalism called Fire Joe Morgan. It wasn’t until I started blogging myself (which wasn’t my idea, btw) that I learned I’m not the only person who was entertained by their humor. In fact, the FJM crew were so well respected, that if anyone dared to break down an article one paragraph at a time, doing so was known as getting the “FJM Treatment.” And although some might have tried copying their style (Something even I was guilty of — but cut me some slack, that was like my second blog post ever), nobody could ever mix their knowledge of the game with scathingly hilarious insults the way they could.

I know this might come off sounding like I’m gay for Fire Joe Morgan, but trust me if you’ve never been — they are that good.

It is definitely something you could see coming. Their posting has been scarce at best lately, and they all write hit fucking TV shows and shit. But I guess there was always the faint hope that they’d start knocking out posts as consistently as they once did. Seeing the end in writing is sort of depressing.

Oh well, I think I’ve said too much. I just wanted to put that out there.

Thanks, FJM.

Post #1377: The Relatively Short Goodbye | Fire Joe Morgan

After the jump, my attempt to somewhat tie this in with the Phillies…

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The folks at Fire Joe Morgan sent out their congratulations to the Phils for their World Series appearance. The intelligence-laden posts (huh? What are these statistics you speak of, I’m waiting for the dick joke!) provided a great link to ESPN’s expert predictions where a total of zero thought the Phillies would make the series.

Looks like you suck, Kurkjian, you and your Peter Brady voice.

See you guys at the Amon Amarth show at the Troc this Sunday (VALHALL AWAITS!!!).

Oh, and for the hell of it, more titties!

*Updated, for Gonzo/definition of titties*

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See this handsome thing to your left?

He thinks the Phillies should let Ryan Howard walk after this year instead of a.) offering arbitration and subsequently, a new 1-year deal or b.) attempting to iron out one of those long term deals for arbitration eligible players that seems to be all the rage these days.

Thankfully, there’s a website that puts these guys in their respective places. And that website is Fire Joe Morgan. Take it away, Junior:

He followed up his 2005 rookie-of-the-year performance by hitting .313 with 58 homers and 149 RBIs with a 1.084 OPS in 2006. Then, he dropped to .268 with 47 homers, 136 RBIs and a .976 OPS last season.

A .976 OPS!!! How dare he (multiple interrobangs)?!!??! This was only good enough for 7th in the National League, tied with that other loser, Chase Utley, who I’ve been meaning to kick off the team as well.

Jimmy Rollins should go. Cole Hamels is dead weight. Give me Pedro Feliz, the ghost of Jim Thome and the corpse of Kris Benson and I’ll give you a pennant and a roller-coaster ride of a season!

And there’s more where that came from, Gerry!

Phillies wise not to meet Howard’s demands | Sporting News
For Sale: One 28-Year-Old 50-Home Run Hitter | Fire Joe Morgan

For the hell of it, Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians. Thanks, HDYSR?.

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