In the 6th inning of the Phillies 4-1 victory over the Metropolitans last night in Queens, a couple ruffians decided to mix it up in the stands a little bit. One was a Phillies fan, the other a Mets fan. Guess who won?

Watch for yourself (in GLORIOUS high definition):

“OH MY!”

You remember that rather innocuous post I put up the night of the Home Run Derby about that fella in St. Louis with the misspelled sign?

Don’t worry about it, I didn’t remember either. BUT, it did catch the attention of a blogger named Chad Garrison of the Riverfront Times. You know the Riverfront Times, right? It was that paper who had to issue an apology because they printed the home address to all the Cardinals players in their special All-Star pullout section last week.

So this guy Chad gets a hold of my post and claims that I was “nitpicking” when I called out the misspelling of the work “capital” on his cute little sign Monday night. I prefer “mocking” but whatever, I didn’t mind that part. The part I did mind though, was when he decided to pick on veteran commenter will.H and call him out on a couple misspellings in the comments section of my original post.

Come on, Chad! You’re missing the point completely.

Listen, I’m not a sign guy. Nothing against sign guys, but I’m not artistic in the least and even if I were to make a sign I’d be doing an injustice to the sign-making community. However, if I were a sign guy, I’d sure as shit make sure everything on there is fucking spelled correctly. All I did was point out that this guy went through all this trouble to create his magnificent sign and he made a spelling error that I was warned about by my 4th Grade English teacher. Shit, if you’re that bad with spelling, ask a friend. It would’ve saved him the embarrassment.

And I was sitting home with nothing to do but watch the Home Run Derby, caught the mistake with that eagle-eye of mine, and wrote a blog post about it so The Fightins dot com readers would have something new to look at.

Now I ask you, Chad, what the fuck does that have to do with a commenter who posts here?

NOTHING. So why did you have to bring him into it?

I think you owe will.H an apology, Chad. I’ll be waiting.

Until then, check out this screen shot of Chad’s post where — as he’s attempting to scold will.H — he himself MAKES A FUCKING SPELLING ERROR:

For the record, Chad, I normally wouldn’t have even responded to that nonsense, but then you had to go and offend one of my fine readers. I don’t think that was too nice.

It’s the principal of it. (← see what I did there!)

Philly Fans Nitpick Cardinals “Sign Man” Marty Prather | Riverfront Times

From those brilliant minds in St. Louis who brought you legendary signs like this…

…comes this:

I’m pretty sure the new Busch Stadium isn’t a building where members of Congress convene.

YOU SUCK, DUMMY!

At first glance, this screenshot may look innocent enough.  After all, it’s just a young lady sitting in the stands at Citizens Bank Park reading the latest issue of Vanity Fair while her sunglasses protect her precious little eyes from the harmful rays of the Philadelphia sun.  You would most likely assume that this was happening during a lull in game action. In-between innings, perhaps?

YOUR ASSUMPTIONS WOULD BE WRONG.

This was actually taken during the 7th inning of last night’s 9-6 win over the Reds.  And see that portly gentleman wearing the home jersey in front of her?  Well, he just caught a chopper off the bat of Brandon Phillips and the entire section was busy cheering him on and giggling at his “I caught a foul ball!” celebration and it just looked like everyone was having an enjoyable night at the ballpark.  But as the crowd was yukking it up, this Vanity Fair broad just sat there with her nose buried in her stupid magazine.  Not once did she bother to glance up and see what all the commotion was about.

STAY THE FUCK HOME, VANITY FAIR BROAD.

Listen, if you would rather read Vanity Fair with your hood up and sunglasses on at 10 o’clock in the pm rather than watch a baseball game — by all means, feel free to do so.  Just do it in the comfort of your own home and let your poor, poor boyfriend take one of his buddies who might actually, you know, PAY ATTENTION to the fucking game have your $40 seat on the third base line.

Tell you the truth, I don’t even know if my description does the actual clip justice.  So proceed past the jump where I’ve conviently embedded the game film.  My guess is you’re going to hate her more than I do.

Read more »

I went to The Bank yesterday for the fourth time in five days to enjoy me some Phillies/Nationals lopsided baseball action.  It was pretty much a repeat of the two previous games and exactly what I expected — lots of drinking in the parking lot followed by the Phillies handing the Nationals a well-deserved “L” then followed by even more drinking in the parking lot.  There was, however, one part to yesterday’s adventure that one could never prepare for:  I was in prime (repeat: PRIME) position to catch Chris Coste’s home run ball in the bottom of the 2nd inning.  And I failed miserably.

Before I get to my depressing tale of dropping a home run ball, I might as well let you know that in my 30 years of attending major league baseball games I have yet to catch a foul ball — let alone a home run — and to be honest, I’ve never even been close.

Well, all that changed yesterday when Costey sent a frickin’ lazer shot for a solo home run to the exact spot that I was occupying — Section 143, Row 15, Seat 15.  If you’d like to hear the first-person account, you must proceed past the jump.

Here’s a sneak-peek that was captured oh, so beautifully by Daily News staff photographer David Maialetti:

Read more »

This year’s inaugural Dumb Fan of the Week comes straight out of Denver, CO, where the Phillies were in town to take on the Rockies.

In the top of the eighth inning, Shane Victorino led off against the Rox former closer Manny Corpas. Towards the end of his lengthy at-bat, Shane hit a ball just foul down the first base line when some wacko in a poncho leapt from the stands in order to retrieve it. As soon as security saw this, they half-assedly tried to tackle the guy, failed, then just watched as he tossed the ball over to his ladyfriend and sat back down in his seat.

The Rockies feed of the game had the beginning part of this ordeal while the Philly feed showed the end, so I used my superior editing ability to splice the two together (seamlessly, I might add) to form one mega-clip which optimizes your dumb fan watching ability. (Don’t mention it)

On the very next pitch, Shane Victorino friggin lazered a single to center field, followed by a Chase Utley 2-run dinger to tie the game. The very next inning, Matt Stairs did what Matt Stairs gets paid to do — hit a pinch hit BOMB and get his ass hammered by his teammates.

I’d like to think that was all due to karma from having such dumb fans in Colorado.

A much smarter fan, after the jump.

Read more »

According to the description on the YouTube uploader’s account, an impromptu contest began near the stadium while waiting for the parade to pass by.

The challenge?  To see who could climb to the top of the light post and stand up.   We have a “winner”:

You gotta hand it to Cubs fans, they train ‘em young over there at Wrigley:

They grow up so fast!

(Originally caught by those eagle-eyed law-abiders at Home Run Derby)

Read more »

First, let me apologize in advance. I promised myself I wasn’t gonna overuse my Red Lasso account and post videos of every stupid thing that happens during a Phillies game, but my hatred for dumb fans got the best of me here.

See, in my opinion, being in attendance at a professional sporting event is a great privilege. I don’t feel sorry when something happens to a fan who isn’t paying attention and accidentally gets hit by a foul ball or flying bat, and I want to punch fans that disturb the game that is being played.

Even if that fan is from an opposing team, like this jaggov:

If I were commissioner, it would have been within the new rules of baseball where Mark Texieria would have the right to level that nerd with absolutely no repercussions. Instead, this moron just gives Tex a thumbs up and is allowed to keep his seat on the first base line. Even airlines give a warning to passengers sitting by the emergency exit doors — and if they can’t uphold the responsibility that comes along with it, they’ll switch their seat with someone who can. The same should go for sporting events.

After the jump, the big winner for DFotW (and the most extreme case of this phenomenon since
Bartman), from today’s College World Series in Tallahassee.
Read more »

This week’s dumb fan of the week is *sigh* a Phillies fan. At least I think he’s a Phillies fan…

During the fourth inning of a tie game with the Rockies and Pedro Feliz on 2nd, Chris Coste shot a ground ball down the 1st base line tailing towards the seats. That’s when a visored young fellow in Section 109 leaned over the railing and decided that getting a souvenir baseball (Suggested Retail Price: $12.99) is worth disrupting the on-field play. Security at The Bank did not appreciate his maneuver, took the ball from him, gave it to a little kid and escorted him out of the stadium:

I love how proud of himself he was for fielding a ground ball.

Congrats dummy – for being The Fightins’ dumb fan of the week.

• Lynniemac on Which One is More Likely?
• Billig on Which One is More Likely?
• Gonzo on Which One is More Likely?
• James Fayleez on NLDS Game 2: Rockies 5, Phillies 4
• Lynniemac on Which One is More Likely?