Things got a bit feisty between the two dugouts last night, didn’t they? A lot of words, a lot of posturing, people acting all like, “HOLD ME BACK, MAN! HOLD ME BACK!” In other words, a typical night outside a New Jersey guido bar.

Some disturbing information to note…

• Last night was Jamie Moyer’s 2nd poor postseason performance in a row, and he’s getting perceptibly worse. This by no means diminishes the fantastic regular season he had, but lately Moyer has looked like… well, like a 45-year-old pitcher. If this series goes to six (or, God forbid, seven) games, will he be the one we’re counting on to pitch us into the World Series?
• The Dodgers have now scored five or more runs two games in a row against Phillies starters, all by the fourth inning. Overall, they have outscored the Phillies 14-13, and 10-2 since the fourth inning of Friday’s game.
• Rollins, Victorino, Feliz, Werth and Howard are all hitting below .200 through the first three games of this series.

Tonight: Game 4. Joe Blanton vs. Derek Lowe.  Does this make anyone a bit nervous? I know Blanton’s pitching has been stronger since his arrival in Philly, but we’re talking about a pissed-off, playoff-seasoned pitcher in Lowe, who will relish the fact that the Phillies’ bats won’t have the cozy dimensions of Citizen’s Bank Park to bail them out this time.

I’m not sure who would benefit more from tomorrow’s off day. If the Phillies win tonight, they know no matter what happens in Game 5 they just need to take 1 of 2 back at the Bank. For that to happen, though, would mean that the Phillies managed to break this nagging, persistent trend of the home team never losing.

If the Dodgers even the series tonight, the off day can help them ride the momentum and prepare for a third and final game in front of a rabid fan base. And by rabid, I mean “sticks around until the bottom of the eighth inning.” (Ba-ZING!)

The captain has not turned off the “Don’t Panic” sign yet, so don’t interpret these observations as some harbinger of doom. Still, a win tonight would loosen the sphincters of many a fan who have seen these opportunities slip away with Philly teams in the past. (Hopefully not too loose. That could get messy.)

GO PHILS!

Ugh. Baseball altercations can be so disappointing sometimes.

In case you’ve been out celebrating the Eagles win over the 49ers for the past 14 hours, here’s a brief Phillies update: The Dodgers whooped the Phillies’ ass and Hiroki Kuroda threw a 94-mph fastball at Shane Victorino’s melon. After Vic grounded out to first, benches cleared, people screamed at each other and the game continued. The End.

Here is video of the incident with Scott Franzke, Larry Andersen & Vin Scully’s voices replacing those annoying fellows in the FOX booth:

During the bottom of the eighth inning of last night’s game, eccentric outfielder Manny Ramirez is sporting a grin on his mug that would lead you to believe the Dodgers were the ones with a 2-0 series lead heading back to L.A.  Of course we all know that’s not the case, so why does Manny look so happy?

Well, because the lovely Phillies ballgirl Gina Papili is prancing across the field and just happened to get in his field of vision.  You can’t blame him, really.

With the Phillies/Dodgers NLCS kicking off tonight in Philadelphia (←my favorite words typed all year), team players and coaches had to go through their customary day-before press conferences to give media types and bloggers things to discuss. When ex-Phillies SS & Manager Larry Bowa took to the mic, the first question asked of him was concerning Phillies fans. He was rather complimentary:

“They’re very boisterous. I think they love their sports teams. They let you know when you’re not doing well, but they also let you know when you’re doing things right.

And I know that Jimmy said something earlier in the year, we talked about it. The one thing they’re not is front-runners; they come out. They come out and support their team. Watching the playoffs against Milwaukee, it was quite a sight. And I told our guys if they thought Chicago was bad, they’re in for a rude awakening, because it’s not even close.

Maybe because we sort of took Chicago out of it early. But it was like — it’s like a West Coast crowd in Chicago really.”

And if you thought that “West Coast crowd” comment was a slight knock on his current team, you’re not alone. The presser’s moderator followed up by asking bluntly, “You don’t like Dodger crowds?”

“I like loud crowds from the first pitch to the last.”

You hear that Phillies fans? Tonight, how about giving Larry what he likes.

Embedded video of said Philly fan talk, ay-tee-jay.

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It’s been a long time between posts for the ‘Tard, mostly due to his weekend activities (don’t ask, there could be cops on here).

Phillies vs. Dodgers. [Anna Benson's vag] Jayson Werth’s hot mom vs. Alyssa Milano’s vag. Clogged arteries and blue collar jobs vs. a coke problem, bussing tables, and failure.

The LA Dodgers. Meh. Manny Ramirez. BFD. The last time the Dodgers were making any noise in the postseason was when that guy with the hot wife was pitching for them. The NL West was pathetic this year, despite the early season bukkake shot the Arizona D-Backs shot all over Kevin Kennedy and Jeanne Zelasko’s face (can anyone beat them? Is Micah Owings Babe Ruth? [seriously, they had a graphical comparison]). But with the addition of Manny Ramirez, the Dodgers [rose from the ashes like a phoenix] rose from a puddle of their own failure-stenched vomit.

But the Dodgers would have been a fourth place team in any other division. Yes, every media outlet has displayed a prominent Manny-boner, but their regular season was still kinda sucky even with him. I’m still pissed that he cut his hair, as the ‘Tard believes strongly in hair rights.

My prediction, the Phils’ in 6 with a monster series for (spins wheel) Jimmy Rollins or the aforementioned MILF baby with the vag beard.

Hopefully, the Phils’ will go all the way (unlike that bitch the ‘Tard has been wasting his time with his semester! I hate you stoner girl!!). I want a parade mostly due to the fact that I love getting fucked up* in public.

Excuse the brackets folks, I can’t work the strike through format.

*Drinking tip: combine Bacardi 151 with Coors Light. It’s only disgusting if you’re a pussy.

+Music tip: go buy Amon Amarth’s Twilight of the Thunder God. It’s only $12 at FYE and comes with a DVD. If their lyrics don’t pump you up, you’re fucked up. The ‘Tard will be seeing them at the Troc on the 19th. Amon Amarth is the greatest band in music right now.

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