Yeah, I haven’t posted lately. I had a hot lead that involved some Facebook stalking, but it fizzled out. That, and buying some bad…uh, cookies… had me out of it for a day or two.

Fresh off Charlie Manuel Day (which I think means you can urinate in public, punch cops, and commit any felony your heart desires) in Buena Vista, Chuck had some musings. The one that struck me was this:

“I’ll always feel (like a) part of Buena Vista,” Manuel told reporters on Saturday. “If you want to know the truth, I feel like I am Buena Vista. I feel like I own Buena Vista.”

Bullshit, you belong to Philly. Your southern twang and willingness to fight trollish WIP ‘talking [dick]heads’ makes you Philly. Fuck Buena Vista (which I always thought was in California). But that can be forgotten with the deliciousness of this quote:

“They’d come up and touch you and tell you that they love you and stuff,” he continued. “That’s one of the biggest things about it. Everything about it became real, and that’s the part that I’ll always remember. It was one of the best things that I’ve ever had happen to me in sports.”

I love you (in a platonic, non-old man crush, way), Charlie Manuel. Fake celebrity ass after the jump.

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With the news of Phillies 3rd base coach Steve Smith being let go last week, it seems Charlie is going to run the team all by himself. The Phils have relinquished (that’s a pretty Ghea verb, HDYSR?) bench coach Jimy “don’t call me Jimmy, asshole” Williams.

Soon, through the wonders of cloning, Chuckles Manuel will manage, bench coach, coach both 1st and 3rd base, and be the #1,2,3,4, and 5 starter. And he will close. And he will fuck your daughters. And he will find Osama. Cause whether it’s squeezin’ titties (once again, enjoy that image, Lynniemac) or being the reason Ryan Howard is a beast, Chuck does it all.

Watch, your asses, Phillies batboys. And the ballgirls should watch their backs as well (for something besides Meech lurking in the background). Soon, Charlie’s sweet melons will be occupying the foul lines.

My sincerest apologies readers, I’ve been posting waaay to much recently. It must be this damn sobriety thing. Because it’s the beginning of the week, I can’t directly post titties. Enjoy this Katy Perry link instead* (the 2nd hottest girl on the planet, behind Anna).

*kinda NSFW, but I’m unemployed

A hex on Jerry Crasnick! A HEX! Where does he get the balls. A sampling from his ESPN.com article:

When it comes to sophisticated insights and pithy observations, Phillies manager Charlie Manuel is no George Will. He’s more like George Won’t.

George Won’t? That’s hilarious. That’s Skip Bayless or Jay Mariotti caliber of journalism. But the heresy continues:

“I believe in momentum,” Manuel said. “I believe in — what do you call it? — attitude, charisma, and when you come to the ballpark everything is OK. Everybody is in a good mood and upbeat. Everybody’s happy. People ain’t walking around sulking because they ain’t making enough money or something happened at the house.”

Manuel probably meant to say “chemistry” instead of “charisma,” but we’ll let the verbal lapse slide. Even when the man gropes for the proper words, he seems to have a knack for coming up with the right answers.

Gropes for answers? The only thing Chuck gropes is titties. And lots of ‘em. Probably your mom’s. Cause Chuck does it like that. He just grabs them shits. He doesn’t give a fuck. And if Charlie meant chemistry, then from now on ‘charisma’ means chemistry. End of story. He too busy squeezin’ titties to bother with the meanings of words.

Well, that’s the last sober post from the ‘Tard ’til Monday. I’m off to insert last weekend’s drinking into two nights (birthday weekend, cute devil-girl fucking with my brain [Clare? Lynniemac? Back me up, lady bloggers!], nothing else to do at school).

Daddy’s gone for the weekend, so expect NSFW posts(Tubgirl tag? Snorgtees girl sex tape?) and general deviance from yours truly and Chamo.  Mila Kunis boobies after the jump.

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