A couple of days ago, some blogger named JRod who writes for a website called Midwest Sports Fans penned an article titled “The Curious Case of Raul Ibañez: Steroid Speculation Perhaps Unfair, but Great Start in 2009 Raising Eyebrows.” I’ll spare you the link, if you really feel the need to read it (I wouldn’t recommend it), I’m sure there are ways you can go about doing so. Basically, this JRod fella got an e-mail from his fantasy baseball friend who accused RAAAAUUUUUUULLL! of being the juice, so he decided to do some half-assed research to test this theory. It’s a clinic in lazy blogging, something I thought *I* perfected, but the point of my laziness has always been to get a cheap laugh out of the reading audience, NOT to baselessly accuse one of the hottest hitters in baseball of taking steroids.

Yesterday, the Inquirer’s John Gonzalez took JRod to school on this matter.

Then last night, after crushing his 20th homer of the year off of Johan Santana, Ibañez — rightfully so — took exception to this blogger’s claim:

“You can have my urine, my hair, my blood, my stool [Ed. Note: also known as "poop"] – anything you can test,” Ibanez said. “I’ll give you back every dime I’ve ever made” if the test is positive.

You hear that, JRod?  Raul Ibañez just offered up his bodily fluids to prove your dumbass article wrong.

But he wasn’t done there:

“I’ll put that up against the jobs of anyone who writes this stuff,” he said. “Make them accountable. There should be more credibility than some 42-year-old blogger typing in his mother’s basement. It demeans everything you’ve done with one stroke of the pen.”

Oh snap, son!  Raul just played the mother’s basement card on your lazy ass.  BUUURRRNN!

“It’s unfair because this story should be about how hard work, determination, and desire trumps chemicals and shortcuts,” he said. “That should be the message: desire, character, work ethic. But some guy who doesn’t know me – one idiot – says something like this. They should be held accountable. It’s cowardly.”

You must be awfully proud of yourself, JRod.  At the time, it probably seemed like a good idea to accuse a guy of taking steroids after receiving an e-mail from your fantasy league buddy.  Now, thanks to some handy work by John Gonzalez, you must face the WRATH of Ibañez.  And trust me pal, it ain’t nothing nice.

I think the lesson here is: sometimes, you’re better off keeping your dumb opinions to yourself.  If you are writing a post which questions the fact whether or not someone is taking steroids, and the best you can do is compare ballpark dimensions, park factors, and quote an e-mail from your moronic friend — I think it’s best left unpublished.

Ughck.  Sometimes, I fucking hate bloggers.

I’m clean, angry Ibañez says | Inquirer

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