I found it. I managed to get my hands on video evidence of the exact moment that the Philadelphia Phillies reached rock bottom as a franchise.

The year was 2003. It was the last go-round at Veterans Stadium and Larry Bowa was leading a team lacking in talent to finish 10 games over .500 but 15 games behind the Braves in the NL East. At some point during the season — before Tyler Houston convinced Pat Burrell and Jason Michaels to bleach their hair — Vet security allowed five aspiring performers access to the dugout to record a music video about the Phils. Three of these guys attempted to rap while the other two just sat there nodding their heads repeatedly. Now I’ve listened to a shit-ton of rap music in my life — but this has got to be worst song ever conceived. I’m convinced it is the lowest, most embarrassing, desperate, we-give-up point in Phillies history. And to top it all off, the end of the video features DJ Harry Kalas fake-scratching one of his patented home run calls.

If you’re a Phillies fan, prepare for douche-chills.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, “Phightins’ Rap”

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