I’ve always pegged Shane Victorino as a bit of a mushmouth. When he speaks, it seems like he is talking waaay faster than he thinks so he often falls back on poor speaking habits like saying “ummm” or “ya know” too many times just so his his mind can catch up with his words. Not a knock on the guy, just an observation. Anybody that hails from Hawaii and listens to Bob Marley all the time is A-OK in my book. (and I do have a book)

But his post-game interview from yesterday was nothing short of classic. After tying a career high with 4 RBI’s (the other time was also against the Braves), he spoke with Tom McCarthy about the team not giving up and his flattening of Brian McCann in the sixth inning.

Check it out, and listen to how many times he starts off an answer with the term, “Oh, no questions asked.” I’m not really sure what it means because Tom McCarthy is obviously asking questions — but I can’t stop saying it. Since I watched this after the game, I’ve answered every question anyone has asked me with my new favorite term:

“Oh, no questions asked.”

Did he just say this division is gonna be a “boat race” until the end of the year? hahahahaha

I’d like to bring to your attention a couple clips from last night’s Phillies game:

First up - Phillies 2nd string colorman, Sarge Matthews, talks candidly about his “down there” grooming habits. It’s quite disturbing actually, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets reprimanded for such naughty-talk. On top of that - the visual they provide for his grooming discourse is borderline pornographic. But don’t worry, it’s completely SFW.

After that clip is Yuney Escobar fouling a Cole Hamels pitch off the ground and directly into his nuts. I imagine he’s wearing a cup, but it still takes him some time to walk it off and recover. With the increasing number of freak umpire injuries and nutshots happening this year, I feel they should all be documented. Enjoy.

Oh, and fuck the Mets.

Tonight the Phillies set up camp in the underwater city of Atlanta to begin a three-day defense of their division lead. Despite losing six of their last ten games, the Braves are still 3 games over .500 and just 3.5 behind Philly.

If you do some quick math, you’ll realize that even if Atlanta sweeps the series they will still trail the Fightin’s by half a game. However, Florida is just 2.5 games back and hosting the ever-unpredictable Cincinnati Reds. The good news is that the Phillies need only to win one of the next three games to get out of Georgia still ahead of the pack.

Considering the sheer brutality of their upcoming schedule, however, Philly better steal as many victories as they can. Fifteen of the next 21 games are on the road, and not one of their upcoming opponents currently sports a losing record (Texas comes close at 31-31). This brutal stretch of their schedule is bookended by three-game visits to Atlanta, who currently boast the stingiest pitching staff in the National League.

That isn’t to say that things get much easier once this gauntlet is run; the 10-game homestand which follows will host the Mets, St. Louis and the suddenly-stumbling Arizona Diamondbacks. Then, mercifully, comes the All-Star Break.

Buckle your seatbelt. This is where the ride gets bumpy.

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