Here’s the OFFICIAL White House video of president Barack Obama meeting with the National Leaguers in the new Busch Stadium clubhouse prior to this year’s All-Star game. When he arrives in the locker room, Mr. President politely greets every one of the NL players get a nice handshake. Except Shane Victornio, that is.

Because Shane is Barack’s “local boy”, Shane gets the more intimate hug from the President and then surprises him with some Hawaiian Macadamia nuts. Barack obviously enjoys this very much, and thanks Shane for sharing his “Aloha spirit.” Then Victorino says something completely inaudible. The End.

The good part starts around the :20 second mark.

If you’ll notice, only two people were identified by name during that entire video: Willie Mays and Shane Victorino. THAT’S gangsta.

Judging by the picture from the Captain Morgan sponsored All-Star party last night, Chase Utley seems to be having himself a nice time in St. Louis so far. Is that a smile on his face? Holy shit!

For the original “Captain” of the Phillies… JUMP!

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Yesterday, I pleaded to the Twitter account of Major League Baseball, “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll have Shane Victorino mic’d up during every event the next 2 days.”

Well so far, so good.  To see the highlight reel put together by MLB featuring a mic’d up Shane Vic during last night’s Home Run Derby, click on the picture of him high-fiving a kid or just get there via the link below.

Victorino mic’d up | MLB.com

This is for those lucky folk who decided to skip out on that borefest of a Home Run Derby last night.

All 15 of Howard’s jacks in chronological order:

From those brilliant minds in St. Louis who brought you legendary signs like this…

…comes this:

I’m pretty sure the new Busch Stadium isn’t a building where members of Congress convene.

YOU SUCK, DUMMY!

Pick up the pace, slackers, there’s only a day left before MLB’s Final Vote is over and you guys are letting Shane Victorino hang out there in second place. Seriously man, you think I like having this website double as makeshift campaign HQ for some city councilman that no one gives a fuck about? NO! I’m doing this for Shane because Shane needs YOUR help. And I’ll be damned if I sit on my hands while some fucker named Pablo Sandoval runs all over him. Vote or DIE, mutherfucker. Vote or DIE.

BONUS! Here’s a helpful hint that should increase your voting effectiveness by 4-5 votes per hour brought to you by the Twittering of @Riley_MatthewJ:

Found a pseudo-loop hole in the online voting: only first/last # of the validation key have to be correct. E.g. 20345 can be 24445

You’re a big boy, you can figure out how to use that to your advantage. Now get to voting.

How could they think this guy deserved a trip to the All-Star game?

You want to discuss offensive production? He hasn’t had a hit in twenty years!

My apologies, everybody: I would have done more to help out the Burrell campaign, but apparently convicted felons can’t vote for All-Star teams, either. I blame society.

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