The Phillies speedy centerfielder and avid Bob Marley fan, Shane Victorino, has agreed to write his own blog for MLB.com this postseason. And unlike that fake Joe Torre blog, it appears as though Shane himself is actually writing it.

Now, as you may recall from such groundbreaking interviews as “Oh, no questions asked,” the Hawaii native isn’t exactly what you would call a master of the English language.  Unfortunately, his humorous, fast-talking interviews don’t translate perfectly to the written word; but at least he is every bit as repetitive and grammatically incorrect as he is on tape.

My personal favorite blurb is when he reminisced over last year’s playoffs and claimed simply making it was “a high in itself.” Right on, brah.

For the readers sake, I’m hoping he updates this page early and often.

Shane Victorino’s Postseason Blog | MLBlogs

A few hours ago, I received the following e-mail from the Phillies…

This is getting to be ri-god-damn-diculous. And I’m not (that) stupid, either — I registered myself for the chance to win under about 9 different e-mail addresses.

So, again, if anybody out there did win a chance to buy postseason tix and are uninterested in actually purchasing them — please, hit me on my e-mail.

Previously:
BOOOOOOOO!!!!!! [NLDS Version]

Here’s the deal:  The Philadelphia Phillies were up 4-2 going into the bottom half of the ninth inning with the flawless Brad Lidge taking the mound to close out the game and clinch the NL East for The Fightins.  After a leadoff strike out of Emilio Bonifacio, Lidge (uncharacteristically) gave up a base knock to Roger Bernadina and walked Ryan Langerhans before allowing an RBI single to Anderson Hernandez. Then, with only 1 out and the lead trimmed to 4-3, Christian Guzman hit a single to center to load the bases for Ryan Zimmerman.

The sold-out crowd at Citizens Bank Park grew restless. After 40 straight saves, could this be the game where Brad Lidge would finally blow one? Afterall, he had only induced two double plays ALL YEAR.

Suddenly, with a 1-1 count to Zimmerman and a chance to secure the NL East on the line, this happened:

On this, the 161st game of the season, the Philadelphia Phillies have just defeated the Washington Nationals 4-3 to win the National Leage East titile for the 2nd consecutive year.

Big time game from grampa, Jamie Moyer, who went six strong, allowing only 1 run on 6 hits.

After the celebration, I’m heading to Benny The Bum’s in NE Philly to do some celebrating of my own.  If you’re in the area, feel free to join me.  I’ll be the guy with the Whiz Kids Phillies hat and a giant, shit-eating grin on my face.

Be sure to come back tomorrow (or later tonight depending on how drunk I get), but for now — pop that champagne and enjoy it. You deserve it.

It seems as though the average Philadelphia Phillies fan isn’t quite as confident as they should be right now. They would have preferred the division be wrapped up already. Now, mind you, these are the same people who left the Phillies for dead before their 4-game sweeping of the Brewers a couple weeks back, but as you should know by now — it’s never easy.

Well cheer up fellas, with the season winding down to the final series, remember: WE (as in me and the Phillies) are in the lead right now. The fact is, there are three teams in contention for the final two National League playoff spots. If you ask any outsider’s opinion on who will make it, 90% of them would name the Phillies as one of those two. But for some reason, people are nervous. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I figured I’d attempt to calm those nerves and divulge 5 good reasons as to why the Phillies will not only make the ‘offs, but win the National League East.

And you mutherfuckers with your, “Don’t jinx the team” rhetoric — please, stop it. Do you have any idea how nonsensical you sound when you tell someone that simply talking about the playoffs assuredly (or having a magic number posted on your website) will somehow put a curse on the team leading to their demise? Besides, I put the malocchio (pronounced mah-loix, you uncultured fuck) on both the Washington Nationals and New York Mets.

Alright, now that we got that out of the way, I got some good news and I got more good news — what do you want first?

GOOD NEWS: We’re playing the Washington Nationals – In a dream scenario where your favorite National League team is 1 game ahead in their respective division with 3 games left to play and they get to choose their opponent (at home, no less) for the the final series, who would you pick?

That’s right… the Washington Nationals.

With a putrid record of 59-99, the Nats are clearly the dregs of the NL. For the second consecutive year, the schedule makers have been kind enough to offer them as a sacrifice of sorts; as close as you can get to a “gimmie” series to finish out the year.

Take 2 of 3 and you’re most likely in the playoffs. Anything less and you simply don’t deserve to go.

(but still can!)

GOOD NEWS: Fredi Gonzalez has mad integrity, yo — Or so he says. When the Marlins ’skip was asked whether or not he’ll play his starters this weekend against the Mets, Fredi had this to say,

“We’re going with our guys, with the guys that played the significant amount of games. The regulars,” Gonzalez added.

Asked why, Florida’s manager said: “For the integrity of the game and for the way you should play the game. That’s the only way to do it. Like we did last year.”

Does this mean Lou Pinella lacks integrity for suiting up the AAA Iowa Cubs roster for last night’s game in Shea? Of course not, dummy. First off, the Cubs aren’t worried about playing the spoiler role, they are more concerned about not getting one of their starters injured during a downpour in a meaningless game.

Blame that horribly positioned catcher for letting Ryan Church curtsy around him for the tying run.

GOOD NEWS: Tim Redding isn’t pitching this weekend – Aside from the little 4 IP, 10 H, 7 ER clunker he tossed against the Phillies on July 30th, Tim Redding has effing pwned Philadelphia hitters this year. Again, not counting that hiccup, he has pitched 25 innings vs. the Phils giving up only 13 hits and 4 earned runs while compiling a 3-0 record.

Fortunately, he pitched Wednesday night and barring some unforeseen circumstance, will not see any mound action again this year. I never thought I’d say this about missing a Tim Redding start, but…

Whew!

GOOD NEWS: Even Mets fans don’t have any confidence in their team – Here is a screenshot I swiped directly from the SNY broadcast of the Mets game last night. Granted, it was when they were down 6-4 in the bottom of the eighth, but it looks to me like they are preparing for the inevitable.

The question was “Where will the Mets finish at the end of the year?”:

Mets fans: Oozing confidence since September 2007.

GOOD NEWS: History is on our side – Last season, with the Phillies, Mets, and Brewers all in a similar position, the Metros and Brew Crew imploded while the Philbo’s flourished. If you don’t think this is all in the back of their minds somewhere — you’re crazy. As soon as Florida puts one of those 4-run innings up on the board against NY, the “here we go again” visions will begin to resurface. And if Ryan Dempster performs anywhere close to his usual self tonight, the Brewers could have trouble plating runners.

If either one of these two teams lose tonight, the playoffs are practically guaranteed for The Fightin’s.

Now, would you like a prediction from a man who has watched just about every single inning of Phillies baseball this year? Sure thing. The Phillies will win the first two games of this series. Coupled with a Mets loss either tonight or tomorrow, and the Phillies will once again become Champions of the National League East.

The best part? We can rest Cole Hamels on Sunday so he’s good to go for Game 1 and some shitty combination of Adam Eaton & Les Walrond can give up 11 earned runs our final game and absolutely no one will give a shit.

Relax, enjoy the weekend, and prepare for October.

I’ll leave you with this:

I just received the following e-mail from the Phillies…

Don’t they know I’m a big-shot blogger?! How DARE they!

If anybody out there did win a chance to buy postseason tix and are uninterested in actually purchasing them — please, hit me on my e-mail.

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