The Sporting Blog’s foreman, Chris Mottram, is blogging his little heart out this week in the Bronx for the 2008 All-Star Game. Besides continuing his ultra-creepy (but hilarious) stalker routine, he was also roaming the floors at the Javits Center for the FanFest hullabaloo. This is where he ran into C. Yeager; a Philadelphian dressed in full Phillies regalia who enjoys scribbling his name on MLB licensed products, rendering the already-overpriced items obsolete and/or worthless.

Watch (and enjoy) as Mr. Yeager defaces $15 Rawlings baseball after $15 Rawlings baseball:

I’d just like to point out that a.) the ‘P’ wristbands were a nice, subtle touch, b.) #16 is actually J.C. Romero, and c.) baseball players haven’t had an American Flag patch on the back of their jersey since 2001.

Fucking idiots, man.

Fake Phillies Player Draws Crowd At FanFest | The Sporting Blog

I smell Miller Lite commercial!

Clip furnished by the cliptastic, Awful Announcing.

It was a rather disappointing afternoon when the 2008 All-Star rosters were announced, being that Chase Utley (starter) and Brad Lidge were the only Phillies named to the squad. I guess it’s understandable; there were a bunch of deserving first baseman and that below-.225 average for Ryan Howard ultimately did him in. Surely Cole Hamels couldn’t maneuver a spot instead of awarding one to another effing Cubs player, nor could Jimmy Rollins have a more dependable shortstop replace him than the venerable Christian Guzman. Seriously, congrats to all who made it.

Although, now that I think about it, perhaps the most egregious error was the omission of one Pat Burrell; he of the LF-leading 21 home runs and impressive .995 OPS.

Well, have no fear. For once, we as a fanbase, have a chance to correct this mistake…

Vote 4 Pat!!!

From now until 5 P.M. eastern standard time on Thursday, July 10th, YOU decide the final roster spot in the National League. The choices are: Pat Burrell and other people.

HOW TO VOTE: To vote for Pat Burrell, go to the MLB.com page that allows you to access the form. From there, a pop-up window will appear, and you’ll have to fill out the form and register your vote for Pat.

EVEN BETTER WAY TO VOTE: I know there’s some text-messagin’ mutherfuckers out there that live on your dumb phones. Well this is your perfect opportunity to put your addiction to good use:

Text message the code “N1″ to number 36197 on your fancy phone
Within a minute-or-so, you will receive a message stating,

You voted for Burrell in the Monster All-Star Final Vote. Vote Again. Ends 7/10 at 5 p.m. ET. Try All-Star Alerts, Text “Get ASG” to 65246. Std msg fees apply.

The two key phrases there were “Vote Again.” and “Std msg fees apply.” Unlike the MLB.com vote where you can vote a maximum 25 times per e-mail address (use a few!), the text message votes seem to be unlimited. Now folks like myself, who rarely use the text message and has a limit on his phone plan, will vote the maximum number of times until it starts to cost me money. For the rest of you with your unlimited plan — GET TO TEXTING. Text non-stop. Text when you get up (”N1″ to 36197), text when you’re on the train in the morning (”N1″ to 36197), text when you’re in the bathroom (”N1″ to 36197) text during your lunch break (”N1 to 36197), text whenever you get a chance.

TAKE 10 MINUTES OUT OF YOUR DAY AND JUST KEEP RE-SENDING THE SAME TEXT!

Pat Burrell deserves to make this year’s All-Star game.
Pat Burrell will make this year’s All-Star game. Do your part, dick.

The first National League All-Star voting numbers have been released and the greatest second baseman in all the land, Chase Utley, is unsurprisingly demolishing the competition. With 537,788 votes (and that’s not even including the 1 vote I made at The Bank last night), Chase leads the anally fissured-journeyman Kaz Matsui by 350,000+ votes. The only National Leaguer remotely close to him is Chipper Jones with 420,664, and everybody knows he’ll just miss the trip due to injury anyways.

Utley celebrated the good news by blasting BLASTING a 3-run shot into the 200 level right field seats that gave the Phils the lead for good and pulled them to within a half-game of the Marlins.

Other Phillies in the All-Star mix are Ryan Howard (5th), Jimmy Rollins (5th) & Pat Burrell (6th). But I’d consider their chances to become All-Star starters slim because the Cubs & Astros are blatantly stuffing ballot boxes. Ryan Theriot has more votes than Jimmy Rollins? That seems about right.

When it comes to the second baseman vote… it looks like the competition will be Chaseing Utley.

(Get it? I used his name to make it seem like I was using the verb chase. But it was really just a clever play on words.)

• Lynniemac on Which One is More Likely?
• Phylan on Which One is More Likely?
• Beebs on Which One is More Likely?
• Matt on Which One is More Likely?
• Lynniemac on Which One is More Likely?