The Fightins'
Open Game Thread 6/3: Phillies at Pirates
Posted by Ryan at 5:09 pm ET 37 Comments

7:05PM on CSN


Cole Hamels (7-2, 3.01 ERA)

PHILLIES: YARRRRRRRRR Matey! The Dread Pirate Hamels sails down the Three Rivers and is on a mission to loot and pillage the Pittsburgh Pirates who are coming off a game in which they choked away a 7-0 lead and eventually lost to the Mets by a run. This is a series that everybody should feel pretty good about, but after dropping two of three to the Nats, I guess you never really know. Either way, like we did in Washington last weekend, the land of the Yinsers should be populated with tons of Yousers as PNC Park becomes Citizens Bank Park West for the next few games.

Jeff Karstens (3-4, 3.58 ERA)

PIRATES: I’m sure Jeff Karstens is a nice guy and everything, but holy crap is he goofy looking. When I do these things, I usually try to find the most embarrassing picture of the opposing player I can and a lot of times, they’re making a doofy face during their delivery. The Karstens cat makes that exact same face every time he throws the ball. It’s hilarious. That’s the kind of in-depth analysis you can only find right here at THE FIGHTINS DOT COM.

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37 Responses to “Open Game Thread 6/3: Phillies at Pirates”

  1. blackinmind says:

    pirate’s roy halladay tomorrow

  2. Greenman! says:

    So anyone want to tell me why Mikey Mart is on the team still?

  3. blackinmind says:

    I think to keep mayberry fresh, keep his at bats. if he stayed he would have been bench and lose his freshness just like brown last year.

  4. @Greenman!, also because the team doesn’t want to look a little silly by being forced to offer him back to the Natinals. I understand the need for infield depth, but I’d have optioned Mini-Mart, DL’d Gload, and brought up Pete Orr. I really don’t see anything at all redeeming in Mini-Mart.

  5. Cricket says:

    Let’s keep Martinez just because of his hair

  6. Jim says:

    How dare the Phillies option Yayberry and keep Mini Mart. Fuck you Rube.

  7. Old Pee Stained Urinal at the Vet says:

    Over/under for what # post Lance makes his debut in this thread?

  8. Osama Bin Lance says:

    So I see that the rumors of Lance’s demise were as bogus as the reports of my passing were.
    Though I must say I think I would have prefered being fish food over the treatment I get in here.
    24/7 they pipe in “Meet the Mets” it’s just inhumane.

  9. homer says:


  10. Danys "White Flag" Baez says:

    Where is everyone?

  11. Bren says:

    This game thread is just sad

  12. Cricket says:

    Warm up Wilson

  13. no one cares says:


  14. no one cares says:

    guess everyone is out having a life tonight. lance and me are here with the crickets

  15. Mike P says:

    Is it bad that after last year, I hate seeing the Pirates on the schedule?

  16. no one cares says:

    i still get disgusted… i fn hate extra innings when its such a low scoring game. damn. we need to pick it UP with RISP

  17. Danys "White Flag" Baez says:


  18. Alexander Hamilton says:

    Wow I feel like rubbing it on my pantaloons after that play.

  19. Cricket says:

    Oh what I would do for the Phillies to win in a blowout

  20. no one cares says:

    get good ol dusty brown outtttttt

    hamels did NOT balk. that was such bullshit

  21. no one cares says:

    stutes looked like hes goin down dyin. that was close

  22. no one cares says:


  23. Charles Fuqua Manuel says:

    I uh ya know gotem out there in the um pen

  24. JohnMatrix says:

    Fuckin gamevis retarded

  25. Turf Toe says:

    Why does Wheels get *extra* retarded in extra innings?

  26. no one cares says:


  27. JohnMatrix says:

    Fuck you phillies. Fuck you howard fuck you jimmy fuck you raul fuck you shane etc.

  28. JohnMatrix says:

    Cunts fags twats no sciring queers. How can the whole fuckingboffense go cold for game after game

  29. Fan since this April says:

    Who the fuck is this Uteley character fucking our infield up?
    That fucking ball would have been caught by Pete Orr.
    Why didn’t they just release this Uteley and kept Mayberry?

  30. Chucko says:

    aarrrgghhh!!! just hit the fucking ball!!!

  31. I’ll match your four aces with an offense that hits like it had sex with Arthur Ashe. Now what?

  32. Arthur Ashe says:

    Leave me out of this.

    As an aside, I had to attend a dinner/awards ceremony tonight. Nothing gets the old clock from 6 to 12 faster than watching a bunch of attractive women do one of those wedding or whatever-like line dance things.

  33. offense (i suck and every team knows it) says:

    eat shit and die, hamels. KK you’re next

  34. Mick Billmeyer says:

    Don’t blame me. I work with Chooch and the pitchers.

  35. June says:

    Bwahahahaha! The Phillies ALWAYS suck in me! June, people. JUNE.

  36. the guy who writes the bad puns for halladay and lee games says:

  37. Obi Wan Kenobi says:

    Lance, You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!!!

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