The Fightins'
Jun
20
2011
John Kruk Wouldn’t Do A “One Ball” Joke on the ESPYs
Posted by Ryan at 5:38 pm ET 7 Comments

You may have heard about the new book about the history of ESPN called “These Guys Have All The Fun”. The book is a massive tome consisting of all kinds of first-hand interviews from ESPNers past and present. It’s a damn good read, but the best parts aren’t the juicy excerpts you’ve already read in GQ or on Deadpsin, but rather moments where somebody puts their foot in their mouth by saying something totally-fucking-stupid.

Enter David Steinberg, who was one of the writers for the 1994 ESPYs, also known as that god-awful ESPN awards show neither you or anybody you know has ever watched. Steinberg came up with the brilliant idea for John Kruk, who was at this time recovering from testicular cancer, to make an appearance that was centered wholly around this one ridiculous joke:

Look, One-Nut Kruk jokes are funny now that he’s recovered, but this guy acts like Kruk is a humorless jerk-off for not wanting to make fun of a serious and potentially life-threatening disease that cost him a friggin’ testicle! Not only that, but that is a fucking awful joke. When you have to end a joke by saying “Okay? That was the joke,” you should know that it’s way unfunny.

I didn’t think it was possible, but I somehow like the Krukker more for this.

(Excerpt from Those Guys Have All the Fun: Inside the World of ESPN by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller)
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7 Responses to “John Kruk Wouldn’t Do A “One Ball” Joke on the ESPYs”

  1. I didn’t even realize that the ESPY’s still existed.

  2. Gene Schall says:

    Having just finished that entire book and its 748 mostly meaningless pages, all I can say is that Deadspin’s hype was just that–hype. Very little scandal, too little infighting, and way too much ESPN executives taking a spoken victory lap/engaging in a retrospective circle jerk. Only part that sticks out in my mind was Michelle Beadle’s take on the Erin Andrew’s peeping tom–something to the effect of “she looked fantastic.” Nothing like rubbing one out to Erin imagining that Michelle is next to you doing the same thing. Dirty? Sure. But that’s why they call me Dirty Gene.

  3. bigmyc says:

    Go fuck yourself, Bristol.

  4. Jay Grace says:

    that book made me zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  5. Amandah says:

    Steinberg? He’s 2x’s the Jew with that last name.

    Regards,

    Amandah

  6. Mr. Bryan says:

    #2, I totally agree. I was hoping to read more scandals than I did. It’s just as you said, a bunch of rich guys patting each other on the back. Berman comes off as such a cocky know it all company man, but I knew that already.

  7. Mr. Bryan says:

    Oh, and Bill Simmons plugged his book in every quote, shameless.

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