The Fightins'
April 19 Game Recap: Brewers 9, Phillies 0
Posted by Ryan at 9:52 pm ET 44 Comments

So, yeah. That happened. Halladay gets a loss, going 6.2 innings, surrendering 10 hits and 6 ER. The Phils offense did honestly look like dog shit, notching only two hits (two goddamned hits!) their last coming in the third inning.

Phillies Offense (Artist’s Rendition)

Okay, so the Phillies lose back-to-back games for the first time this season. But don’t mope too long, kids. Cliff Fucking Lee takes the mound tomorrow afternoon.

PS: I call him “Sandy” because he’s always got sand in his vag.

Edit: It looks like The Good Phight hires the same artist that we do.

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44 Responses to “April 19 Game Recap: Brewers 9, Phillies 0”

  1. Carl Weathers says:

    Botallico on Wolf’s pitching: He doesn’t overpower you. He’s sneaky. He short-arms it and before you know it it explodes all over you.

    Many girls would say the same about me.

  2. Shamels Raul (formerly Wertiz) says:

    Bahhhhhhh. Thisshizisnotgonnacutityo.

  3. James Fayleez says:


    1 RBI?


  4. Mike Saunders says:

    Phils miss Chad Durbin

  5. Damn, where’d I see a game recap with a picture of dog shit in it before. Ah, last night.


  6. Clifton Phifer's Badassness says:

    What;s good? Tomorrow’ll be fun.

  7. Dan says:

    And Cliff Fucking Lee will lose too if this is all the offense he gets.

  8. don't be so smug says:


    Given the fact that there are zero comments on your post last night, I’m guessing you’re the only one who saw it, so guess what? No one cares. Also, it is way more appropriate here… at least the phils put up some runs last night. You pulled the trigger a little too soon.

  9. PWNDED Gotta start some place, babe.

    And I’d say the 12 inning, 3 run performance, capped by Kyle Kendrick’s brilliance in the ninth was a rather appropriate time to pull the trigger on dog shit. To each his own.

  10. James Fayleez says:

    Yes, Chad Durbin would’ve saved us. He was the glue that held the bullpen together.

    PROBLEM NUMBER 1: 3 hole hitter that tries to hit a home run every time he’s up

    PROBLEM NUMBER 2: 5/6 hole hitter that is overpaid and old and sucks in LF

    PROBLEM NUMBER 3 : lead off hitter that swings like he’s chopping down vines in the amazon rain forrest

    PROBLEM NUMBER 4: 2nd baseman with mystery ailment that may or may not ever heal

    PROBLEM NUMBER 5: toupee wearing “color commentator” that burns my ears during each broadcast

    (yes i saved the best for the last…..but the rest are legit)

  11. If the 3 hole hitter is trying to hit a home run every single time he’s up, that’s a problem. You know, since he hasn’t done it yet.

  12. Shamels Raul (formerly Wertiz) says:

    Gotta agree with JetroDubs- Kyle Kendrick made me contemplate suicide like 8 times. Dog poo probably doesnt do it justice.

  13. Carl Weathers says:

    Jetro Warriors is a great site. I print out the articles and use them to wipe my ass. Saves me tons on toilet paper.

  14. The Wolf Pack says:

    U guys cant hit

  15. Jason says:


    I got to give it too you, some of that shit is funny on your site, glad to see someone is sticking with the dickhead approuch. and I just I must be one of your few readers bc as soon as I read the thing about the dog shit I figured they were instantly ripping off your site. Glad you stood up for yourself right away

  16. Joe Pa says:

    2 HUCKING FITS!?!!?

  17. Ron Jones knees says:

    Halladay always sucks after throwing 115-120 pitch complete games.

  18. @Carl

    I do the same thing, except I cry on those articles first because you hurt my feelings

  19. This game was the live action equivalent of getting head with teeth from a UPenn coed……if they’re into that.

  20. Morandini's Triple Play says:

    Its early, guys.

  21. Its Still Early says:

    its me. Too soon to panic.

  22. Much like the Phillies offense… The Fightings blog is dog shit!

  23. Danyiel says:

    That game was the biggest steaming pile of dog shit I’ve ever seen in my whole life. Also, someone needs to do a Nancy Kerrigan on Ryan Braun.

  24. Amandah says:

    The Phillies offensive stats are falling faster than Eric Clapton’s son from a window sill.



  25. Lenny Dykstra's cellmate says:

    on a night like this the only thing that can make me feel better is fapping to pictures of Jen Utley.

  26. FanSince09 says:

    If he was an ace, Hammels would of demanded to come in and relieve Roy to stop the bleeding, but he didn’t. I think Holiday has been a disappointment since he got here, too. All he cares about is personal stats. Threw 2 no hitters but we didn’t even win the NL! Our REAL ace goes tomorrow, and our other two aces are in Houston and Toronto!

  27. soundofphilly says:

    yo bro, cool man bro, good site bro jetro warriors bro, puma hat bro

  28. MarkM625 says:

    Fuck David Herndon.

    Oh and fuck the fans that tried to start the wave in the 6th.

    Great first game of the year for me. :(

  29. Maera says:

    Add this to the list of reasons to hate Ryan Braun right under “Shitty clothing line”.

  30. Ron Hipple says:

    David Herndom need to off himself

  31. Watrick says:

    Birdland Shirts > Ryan Braun’s clothes.

  32. mgoss79 says:

    is jetro actually kyle scott’s pseudonymn? it’s his street cred alias

  33. JohnMatrix says:

    I say again, Doc got out pitched by Brett Meyers and RAndy Wolf. I think we should be concerned

  34. Its Still Early says:

    Calm down, its me.

  35. Ryan says:

    Unlike the Phils, Amandah is still hitting home runs.

  36. Joe D says:

    They must think Milwaukee is back in the AL because the offensive performance smells of interleague performances of the past.

  37. Jimmy Rollins has hit THIRD in SIXTEEN games and he only has one more RBI that I do.

  38. Joe D says:

    And it looks like we’ll be hoping Dom Brown can be the savior again this season. These outfield bats are downright brutal right now. It’s making me long for the Tony Longmire.

  39. Ryan Halladay says:

    ‘sup, T-mack

  40. JohnMatrix says:

    Its been proven that when a bunch of women hang out together a lot they get there periods at the same time. That whats wrong with thephils. Everyting should be ok in a week or 2.

  41. Defenestrate Wheels says:

    Never should have gotten rid of Drabek, hope people boo’d halladay yesterday…

  42. Wanna piece of mah T-bone?

  43. Shamels Raul (formerly Wertiz) says:

    @ JohnMatrix: More like 5-7 days. I should know.

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