The Fightins » Tom McCarthy: Former Fat Guy

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Sep

2008

Tom McCarthy: Former Fat Guy

Posted by How do you spell retard? at 8:13 pm ET 13 Comments

Greetings, n00bs. To those of you unfamiliar with myself, let me introduce… myself:

I am ‘How do you spell retard?’. I will only be addressed as so. You may have seen me on the Deadspins, Joe Sports Fan, The Sports Hernia, or my personal favorite Nudography(username: JornTunsberg). I am prone to both aspects of manic depression(self diagnosed). I went to school with some of Sal’s Pals. My home base is in Burlington County, but am currently located in North Jersey. I enjoy lookin’ for pussy, hitting on teenage girls, Norwegian Black Metal, porno, lifting, getting wasted, and the Phillies. I would describe myself as a combination of Travis Bickle and GG Allin, but physically Jamey Jasta and Ben Savage(with liberty spikes). I can’t stand Larry Anderson, am amused by Wheels’s douchiness.

Like Meech, I have an unhealthy obsession with Sarge and his hats.

Enough about me, there are more important matters:

Tom McCarthy used to be a fat guy. But then he left the Phillies and caught something over in New York while working for the Mets. That something is known as FFGSHGHS(Former Fat Guy Still Has Giant Head Syndrome). It only has two known victims, T-Mac and Al Roker.

Normally I wouldn’t make fun of someone solely based on their appearance(unless it’s really funny), but I can’t stand T-Mac’s stupid reports.

Actual transcript:

Harry Kalas:Ruiz grounds softly to the shortstop Berroa and he’s out at first. You know Sarge, T-Mac has an interesting report for us on the condition of the men’s rooms in Ashburn Alley. Live from the outfield shitters, here’s Tom McCarthy. T-Mac!

And now the gigantic fat fuck.

And a final note, as a Phillies fan currently in Met Cuntry:

PHUCK THE METS.

Read More: fat guy post, gigantic fat fuck, Tom McCarthy

13 Comments on “Tom McCarthy: Former Fat Guy”

madonna Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
*Slow clap*
Gigi Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
stop it guys! Steven is gonna think we hate fat people too!

…ok, ok, I’ll stop referencing that holier-than-thou-penis-enthusiast
Steven Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
You people are such stereotypes of yourselves it’s unbelievable.
How do you spell retard? Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
…that’s not what your mamma thinks
//cabbage patches
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabbage_patch_dance
Gigi Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
man, it’s fun teasing this unbelievable tool…
Chamomiles Davis Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Meanwhile, the Nats returned to their stereotype of being a horrible baseball team.

Who will finish with the worst offense in 2008: Redskins or Nats? Discuss.
Gonzo Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Can I address you as Retard? It would make life much easier for everyone.

KthanksBye
MaggieM Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
So T-Mac works for the Phillies and they fail to make the playoffs. T-Mac goes to work for the Mets and they suffer the biggest collapse in history and the Phillies make the playoffs. T-Mac comes back to work for the Phillies and they lose 2 out of 3 to the Nats to fall to 3 back of the Mets. Coincidence?
yellowbird Says:
September 5th, 2008 at 1:09 am
cant stand larry anderson?? blasphemy!
ill Says:
September 5th, 2008 at 8:06 am
You know, I was just saying to myself that this place needed more dick jokes now that the Level has gone soft. Way to pick up the slack Tard.
Chamomiles Davis Says:
September 5th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Norwegian Black Metal? Pfft. That’s for old ladies.
Joe B Says:
September 5th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Former fat guy, continued horrible announcer. This guy calls more pitches hat are high and outside as down and in than any other broadcaster I’ve ever seen.

But hey, glad to see Steven is back.
Bryan Says:
September 5th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Did you know theres a half dead fat guy eating a dead fat guy in your bedroom?