What!? The ‘Tard is going to attempt to talk about titties and it’s relevant to the Phillies? Impossible. Well, listen to this fuckface:

“The Phillies are looking to hire a staff of ballgirls who can represent the organization in media situations as well as perform duties on the field. Resumes are being accepted until October 24, 2008 for the ballgirl positions. Those qualified will be invited to the tryout, scheduled for November at Citizens Bank Park.”

That’s right ladies. To steal a line from the Man Show, “if you’re between the ages of 18 and 19, we want to see your breasts”. Also:

Those interested should send their resume with photo to: Attn. Ballgirl Applications, c/o The Phillies, Citizens Bank Park, One Citizens Bank Way, Philadelphia, PA 19148…go to http://philadelphia.phillies.mlb.com/phi/community/ballgirls/index.jsp … or email info to mdevicaris@phillies.com. No phone calls will be accepted.

Or:

Those interested should send their phone number with nude photo (JPEG format only! LOLZ!)to howdoyouspellretard@gmail.com or fightinstips@gmail.com. No pants can be worn.

Here’s your chance, ladies. Being a Phillies ballgirl can shoot you into super stardom like this, this, or this.

I will personally interview this candidate:

Would you date a blogging n00b Katy Perry? I’m being serial if you’re reading this.

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