Whether it’s their awful NFL on FOX pregame shows, or their cockgobbingly stupid choice to give Tim McCarver an outlet to speak, we all know FOX Sports has some of the most awful television coverage available. Not to mention to Joe Buck, whose unenthusiastic calls are soundbites that could be paired with Auschwitz footage and you’d still be more disgusted by Buck.
To compliment Rupert Murdoch’s shitty network, they have an equally shitty website. Thems geniuses came up with a poll for one of their uninspired columns, really grinding my gears:
Enough with Ryan Howard’s strikeouts already! We get it. The tubby guy swings and misses a lot. He doesn’t have that Ecksteiny quality of always making contact and getting thrown out at first. Big fucking deal he whiffs a lot. He also hits fucking bombs. We all know he’s not Albert Poo-holes (i.e. a whiny little bitch), but I’d take a strikeout over a Chooch Ruiz double play. Ryan Howard sriking out is the equivalent of No Questions Asked popping out to shallow centerfield (actually, a steal could be going on so the likelihood of runner being advanced is greater).
So shut your fucking mouths about Black Lava’s strikeouts. If I remember right, he struck out a lot and the Phils are still World Fucking Champions. Don’t let Ryan Howard’s Ks become the new Philadelphia drivel like *does best Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel impression* “Derrr, I heards y’all Phillay fans booed Santer Claus”.
Mizz Perry’s lovely lady lumps after the jump:
9 Comments on “STFU FOX Sports”
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General
March 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I think they are legit options, which is what a poll should offer. You pick the one that you agree with, which is obviously not Ryan Howard’s Ks. I have had discussions about each of them during this offseason, but would probably vote for the Braves and Mets, with emphasis on the Mets. Would you rather they have an ARod poll up there?
March 19th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Howard’s k’s are only part of the package. Ya can’t forget the homeruns and the errors too. We’re so fond to Howard that we’ve named a stat after him this season “The Howard” in which player hits a homerun, strikes out, and commits and error all in the same game.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Dash doesn’t understand why the identity of the fifth starter should be a concern. The Phils have TWO viable options in J.A. Happ and Chan Ho Park. They are one of the few times in the NL that have a GLUT of pitching.
March 19th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I’m willing to bet no team in MLB has their 5th starter mapped out.
March 19th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
1. it’s gonna be Happ.
2. Nice to see someone else is noticing katty perry’s atributes.
March 20th, 2009 at 7:30 am
We may have 2 options for the 5th starter, but I wouldn’t say either of them are fully dependable. Happ has not had a full season in the bigs yet and who knows what we will get out of CHP as the season goes on. I think that is my #1 concern. I agree that other teams have this problem. Wonder why Ibanez didn’t make the list, I think a lot of people are concerned about him filling Burrell’s shoes.
March 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
You are fucking awful. Your posts bring this blog down so much. Meech should throw your shiftless ass off this website because you are a joke and make them look bad by association. Your posts are great meech but get this asshole out of here!
March 20th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
My goal has always been to make people look bad by just associating myself with them.
March 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
@Eric, take your ass clowning somewhere else, some of us enjoy the relative insanity that HDYSR brings to thefightins.com.
Oh… and those are some nice credentials presented by that young lady indeed.