From Todd Zolecki’s MLB log:
“A scout for one Major League team said the Phillies have been following Red Sox right-hander Brad Penny”
Yucks. Fuck no! I have been one to opine on the Phillies signing players that might not have led to success, but even I’m not on board with this one. There is a simple equation when it comes to a pitcher’s success:
Alyssa Milano’s pussy + x = failure
x is a variable for formerly adequate starters
Also, Brad is a fatty pitcher. And when fatty pitchers start to suck, they’re fucking done.
But aside from the Trans Fat and “ohs gross, he was a fucking Red Sock” arguments, here’s one based somewhat in reality and fact (my immortal, abstract enemies). Since 2004, Bradley Wayne Penny has spent a shitload of time on the disabled list. You may remember him fucking up his arm when he made his second start for the Dodgers back in ‘04 against the Fightins. Even as a healthy pitcher, he’s regressed towards averageness recently. That combined with the $5 million salary makes him an unattractive trade prospect.
So considering the overall doughiness, avergageness, expensitiosity, and the whole ‘he probably got Barry Zito’s gonorrhea from that broad from Growing Pains‘ argument, me no wanty Brad Penny.
Oh, and this fucking disgraceful shirt. We got too fucking many of them on our brahs already.
Let’s stick with the young bastard.
11 Comments on “Please Odin no….”
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General
June 6th, 2009 at 1:39 am
they said that the sox want jason donald in return and i do not think the phils would go for that. mostly bc i think third base is his once pete happy asks for more money and they give him the ol’ heave ho. the kid can play second, short AND third and is awesome. im hoping management doesn’t fuck that up.
June 6th, 2009 at 8:59 am
How the hell does this mofo wear an Affliction shirt and a cowboy hat at the same time? That’s like bringing an Advanced Nuclear Chemistry book onto the short bus.
June 6th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Attention Brad Penny:Suck my balls
June 6th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Its called “Kenny Powers syndrome”
June 6th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
No, Kenny Powers RULES. Penny is a white trash douche nozzle.
June 6th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
wow, affliction shirts are even gayer than ed hardy shirts.
June 6th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
hey, didn’t Cole say in that interview from the other day that he wears Affliction stuff? He probably owns the same shirt
June 6th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
yeah sadly cole admitted his love of affliction and quicksilver
June 7th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
i’m glad i’m not the only one that thinks we should stick with the bastard and fuck trading for anyone
June 7th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
@tard Growing Pains was a cool show, specially because Milano wasn’t on it. She was stinkin’ up Who’s the Boss with Tony Danza.
June 7th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
@ drummerboy
Cotdamn my mediocre sitcom knowledge!