It’s been a long time between posts for the ‘Tard, mostly due to his weekend activities (don’t ask, there could be cops on here).
Phillies vs. Dodgers. [Anna Benson's vag] Jayson Werth’s hot mom vs. Alyssa Milano’s vag. Clogged arteries and blue collar jobs vs. a coke problem, bussing tables, and failure.
The LA Dodgers. Meh. Manny Ramirez. BFD. The last time the Dodgers were making any noise in the postseason was when that guy with the hot wife was pitching for them. The NL West was pathetic this year, despite the early season bukkake shot the Arizona D-Backs shot all over Kevin Kennedy and Jeanne Zelasko’s face (can anyone beat them? Is Micah Owings Babe Ruth? [seriously, they had a graphical comparison]). But with the addition of Manny Ramirez, the Dodgers [rose from the ashes like a phoenix] rose from a puddle of their own failure-stenched vomit.
But the Dodgers would have been a fourth place team in any other division. Yes, every media outlet has displayed a prominent Manny-boner, but their regular season was still kinda sucky even with him. I’m still pissed that he cut his hair, as the ‘Tard believes strongly in hair rights.
My prediction, the Phils’ in 6 with a monster series for (spins wheel) Jimmy Rollins or the aforementioned MILF baby with the vag beard.
Hopefully, the Phils’ will go all the way (unlike that bitch the ‘Tard has been wasting his time with his semester! I hate you stoner girl!!). I want a parade mostly due to the fact that I love getting fucked up* in public.
Excuse the brackets folks, I can’t work the strike through format.
*Drinking tip: combine Bacardi 151 with Coors Light. It’s only disgusting if you’re a pussy.
+Music tip: go buy Amon Amarth’s Twilight of the Thunder God. It’s only $12 at FYE and comes with a DVD. If their lyrics don’t pump you up, you’re fucked up. The ‘Tard will be seeing them at the Troc on the 19th. Amon Amarth is the greatest band in music right now.
6 Comments on “Phillies-Dodgers Preview, Now with More Filth”
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General
October 7th, 2008 at 6:38 am
Sorry to burst your bubble but Meshuggah >Amon Amarth. and phils in 6.
October 7th, 2008 at 10:40 am
possibly the [worst] most retarded preview ever
October 7th, 2008 at 11:39 am
what did I tell you about stoner girls? Just give them a few Entenmanns cookies and a big glass of milk. It’s like roofies for pot-heads…
PS. the bussing tables / failure line made me think of Zach Braff wearing the Kabuki garb in Garden State - seems like a very accurate description of LA
October 7th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Wow, I just listened to Avenger and Victorious March on playlist.com. That is some angry shit right there. Makes old-school James Hetfield even sound like a pussy.
October 7th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
@TheJuggernaut
Next you’re going to start telling me Dave Mustaine is a pretty cool guy.
@Tartan69
“Valhalla Awaits Me” and “Runes to My Memory”. I get goosebumps just typing those titles.
October 8th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Dave Mustaine was cool when he was shooting heroin and beating lars up, you know what titles give me goosebumps? Nile - Dusk Falls Upon the Temple of the Serpent on the Mount of Sunrise/ Nile- Papyrus Containing the Spell to Preserve Its Possessor Against Attacks from He Who Is in the Water.