It’s been a long time between posts for the ‘Tard, mostly due to his weekend activities (don’t ask, there could be cops on here).

Phillies vs. Dodgers. [Anna Benson's vag] Jayson Werth’s hot mom vs. Alyssa Milano’s vag. Clogged arteries and blue collar jobs vs. a coke problem, bussing tables, and failure.

The LA Dodgers. Meh. Manny Ramirez. BFD. The last time the Dodgers were making any noise in the postseason was when that guy with the hot wife was pitching for them. The NL West was pathetic this year, despite the early season bukkake shot the Arizona D-Backs shot all over Kevin Kennedy and Jeanne Zelasko’s face (can anyone beat them? Is Micah Owings Babe Ruth? [seriously, they had a graphical comparison]). But with the addition of Manny Ramirez, the Dodgers [rose from the ashes like a phoenix] rose from a puddle of their own failure-stenched vomit.

But the Dodgers would have been a fourth place team in any other division. Yes, every media outlet has displayed a prominent Manny-boner, but their regular season was still kinda sucky even with him. I’m still pissed that he cut his hair, as the ‘Tard believes strongly in hair rights.

My prediction, the Phils’ in 6 with a monster series for (spins wheel) Jimmy Rollins or the aforementioned MILF baby with the vag beard.

Hopefully, the Phils’ will go all the way (unlike that bitch the ‘Tard has been wasting his time with his semester! I hate you stoner girl!!). I want a parade mostly due to the fact that I love getting fucked up* in public.

Excuse the brackets folks, I can’t work the strike through format.

*Drinking tip: combine Bacardi 151 with Coors Light. It’s only disgusting if you’re a pussy.

+Music tip: go buy Amon Amarth’s Twilight of the Thunder God. It’s only $12 at FYE and comes with a DVD. If their lyrics don’t pump you up, you’re fucked up. The ‘Tard will be seeing them at the Troc on the 19th. Amon Amarth is the greatest band in music right now.

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