…he’s a dipshit, fuckface, assmunch. Larry “Chipper” Jones decided to open his little bitch mouth recently, and suprisingly, didn’t injure it whilst speaking. Ask for douchedom, and thou shalt receive:
We won for 14 consecutive years, and you never, ever saw any bulletin board material. And now that these two teams are on top of the division, they can’t keep their mouths shut. Just go play baseball. It’s Cole Hamels now. It was Jimmy Rollins and Carlos Beltran the past couple of springs. These two teams are constantly going at each other verbally. You know, win with class, lose with class. Just keep your mouth shut and go play your game.
Hey, nutsack-face, why don’t you play a fucking full season before you talk shit on our shit. Maybe once you and that fat wife-beating fuck of a manager can survive an entire season without you rupturing each other’s anuses, you’ll have something to talk about.
*FAKE UPDATE: Chipper broke 3 bones in his ear by picking up the phone too quickly*
And don’t you dare talk shit on Cole Hamels. Cole Hamels is the closest thing there is to a deity. Fuck you, Larry Jones, eat piss. You just jealous that your fans don’t give a shit. Enjoy your NASCAR rivalries, and learn to keep your fucking mouth shut and play your game when you are the defending WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS.
From Wikipedia:
The nickname “Chipper” came from family members who felt he was a “chip-off-the-old-block” of his father.
Here’s hoping Cole Hamels takes a chip off your blockhead in ‘09! Ass.
Bewbs after the jump:
13 Comments on “My opinion on Larry Jones? Well, thank you for asking…”
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General
January 3rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
fuck his old balls.
January 3rd, 2009 at 10:53 pm
The more I read Larry’s comments, the more I read them as: “Waaa, waaa. Everybody’s talking about the Phillies and the Mets and nobody’s talking about meeeeeee. WAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa!”
January 4th, 2009 at 12:03 am
I read them as, “God, I wish I could play there.”
January 4th, 2009 at 12:19 am
BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
January 4th, 2009 at 3:11 am
fuck him. hick
January 4th, 2009 at 9:29 am
We won the division for 14 consecutive years winning only one fucking World Series.
/Fixed
Fuck you Larry
January 4th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Hahahhaha. Trash talking trash talking. Somebody in the division is going to respond, which makes this so great. I love it.
January 4th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I’m so mad, I am going to drive to New York and punch a Native American.
Not really.
What Larry meant to say is, “We’re still relevant! We’re still relevant! Damn it, we’re still relevant!”
January 4th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
How ironic is it that he is complaining about the other teams talking too much at the same time that he, hiimself is talking?
January 4th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Almost as ironic as the man who left his first wife for the nanny then got a Hooters waitress pregnant lecturing anyone else about class.
January 4th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I’m beginning to think you’re not too fond of Larry Jones. Excellent use of “fuck” in your post, most admirable.
January 4th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
The Phillies fans hated the Braves for fourteen years. Since the Phillies have taken them down, the fans have hated the Mets way more than the Braves. Chipper is just begging Philly to hate the Braves again. I think it’ll remind him of when they used to win.
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
Yo, even tho I despise the Phillies, this ish is classic. Too funny, look forward to reading your ass-backwards love of the Phillies. Braves in ‘09 baby!!
No, this really is a good blog, I’ll be back for more. Easy.
-Ed.