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Mar

2009

Lameness expected for the ‘09 at ‘the Bank

Posted by How do you spell retard? at 1:28 am ET 63 Comments

Scooter the talking baseball, move over. Presenting “Phil the Can”:

Seriously? This is part of an environmental effort on the part of the Phillies. Now, rational people (I’m not a conspiracy nut, Ma!) understand the environmental is a bullshit political agenda, but that’s a rant for another time. I remember not standing the old school talking trash cans at McDonalds, and I was fucking 5 years old. I knew that shit was lame.

And while you may feel unproductive because you don’t have a job and spend the night drinking yourself silly whilst blogging and finding every possible version of Alice in Chains “Junkhead”, meet Global Spectrum facilities manager Bram Reynolds:

There’s also a new commitment to recycling and the environment at Citizens Bank Park. In men’s rooms there are new, environmentally friendly urinal blocks that won’t harm the ozone layer, says Global Spectrum facilities manager Bram Reynolds:

“It will disintegrate in the urinal. You do not have any waste left over, so we don’t have to add that to our landfills.”

This guy’s job is to talk about urinal cakes. Suddenly it feels fine to have $24 in savings and no job. At least I ain’t sniffing other dude’s pee.

I still can’t get over “Phil the Can”. I’m totally throwing non-degradables in that shit. Fuck you, inanimate trash speaky!

Read More: fuck the planet, sniffing urinal cakes, Talking Trash Cans

63 Comments on “Lameness expected for the ‘09 at ‘the Bank”

Pat M Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 1:38 am
i guess thats why u have 24$ in youre bank account, because you’re ignorant and don’t understand the significance of the environment. Just another ignorant hick who voted for Bush.
How do you spell retard? Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 2:59 am
Given the fact that I was 16 during the ‘04 election, it would have been somewhat impossible for me vote.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eScDfYzMEEw
GM-Carson Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Damn, Retard, didn’t know you were such a youngin.

Personally I like the Phils efforts to be more environmentally friendly.
KGB Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Amen and amen again. Thank you for making TheFightins.com a moonbat/enviro-wacko free zone. I hope you participated in “Human Achievement Hour” yesterday, the antidote to the moronic “Earth Hour” rubbish. To wit, we all turned our lights on for an hour to celebrate the technological advances humans have made. The answer to our problems lies in more technology and a brighter future. As for the left-wing Luddites who sat shivering in the dark yesterday, what’s their drug of choice? An intoxicating brew of totalitarianism and Middle Ages lifestyles. Sorry man, go do that on your own time, I’m not interested.
I love trees Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Retard, do us all a favor and don’t procreate.
Matt Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 11:26 am
KGB, if you’re so happy about decrying “left-wing Luddites” you must be against the technological advances and leaps in biotechnology that will allow us to cure and prevent diseases, not to mention prevent genetic mistakes like Adam Eaton from making it to the bigs. Tell Rush I say hello next time you guys pop some oxy and blow each other.
meech.one Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Alls I know is I’m pro-Hdysr?
Hummer Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 11:40 am
uhhh….I bet the kids love it??
Walklett Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Who brought the hippies?
will.H Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 11:58 am
its funny. 40 people had to drive to work to make parts that go to that ‘green’ trash can. trucks that get 6 miles to the gallon deliver it to its destinations. bigger trucks that get 3 miles to the gallon pick up whats inside of it and deliver it to a recycling plant that 60 more people drive to and work at. go green, stay narrowminded
Phan in TN Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I need to convince the little mrs that we need a World Champions Philadelphia Phillies toilet now.

Uncle Charlie told me so
Pat M Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Man, retard, good argument. Using an alcoholic, drug-addict comedian, and he actually says that we are fucked already. SO why not do something about it. I guess thats why youre 20, have no job and have 24 bucks in your bank account. Maybe you’ll thank the liberals when they pay for your welfare
slowski Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
i wonder how much a full season of these urinal cakes will offset one dollar dog night. im thinking of an eye dropper and giant lake.
How do you spell retard? Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
@ Pat M
I’ve mostly been using MyCokeRewards points and blood donations to sustain myself.
Matt Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
hippies and baseball don’t mix. it’s science, look it up.
Tug Haines Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I can prove this on an Etch-a-Sketch.
Chris K Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Pat M, Has recycling contributed anything to you? Besides making you feel good..
will.H Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
we can cure our problems by melting bottles of deer park with harmful chemicals to save the world. go phils
Ray W. Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
how exactly does this trash can help the environment? because it talks? if anything, it’s harming the environment because it’s using more energy (some) than a normal garbage can (none).

this idea has “fail” written all over it, which leads me to believe it may have been spearheaded by travis lee
CarlosBeltransexual Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
How many games until it’s filled with urine?
will.H Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
one game, beltransexual. i got dibs fucking vet style.
Get me Outta Cleveland and back to Philly Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
G-A-Y….stupid.
How do you spell retard? Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
“leads me to believe it may have been spearheaded by travis lee”

+1 Earth Hour, Ray.
Pat M Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
These must be the hicks who live in central PA. It’s funny how many ignorant people there are. Why do u complain about people trying to help the environment when it doesn’t affect you at all? Just shut the fuck up and go back to fucking your sister. I guess these people are the reason Bush was elected, and the reason everyone else in the world hates America.
Argive Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
As an environmentalist (I even work at an environmental non-profit) I think Earth Hour is bullshit. Honestly, we’d all be a lot better off if the same amount of time and money that went into publicity stunts like this one went into efforts convincing people not to throw trash down storm drains.

Whatever. Go Phils.
CarlosBeltransexual Says:
March 29th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
I’m glad that if you hate a fucking robotic trashcan, you must be “hicks who live in central PA”. It’s a robot trashcan, forgive me for not weeping little tears in the spirit of humanity.
Pat M Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 1:26 am
i guess it’s just sad if you spend your time complaining about things that don’t affect you at all. You hate a robot trashcan. thats just funny.
ill Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 7:32 am
1. Earth-friendly does not equal liberal. That is a very broad brush. /voted for Bush, has a compost heap in my back yard, recycles.

2. I agree with everyone who disagrees with HYDSR. It isn’t hurting you, why do you care?

3. will H, that is stupid. You are thinking about it too much.
Chris K Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 8:35 am
Pat M, why do you care so much?
Tony Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:11 am
The first game Lidge blows I’m throwing this trash can on the field.
Gaze Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Most controversial topic of pre-season 2009…
5th starter?
Too many lefties in the lineup?
Injury concerns?

Nope…it’s robotic trashcans and disintegrating urinal cakes! How long until I can buy a T-shirt with Phil the Can on the front?
Docnuts Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Can we please leave the political rhetoric at the door? I don’t like it interrupting my baseball and titty humor. All hail ‘Tard.
ill Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:51 am
@CarlosBeltransexual
I find it a little disturbing that you want to stick your dick in something that has the face of a little boy, even if it is for the sake of pissing in it.
MRT Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Personally, I think it’s great that the Phils are doing this. Waste at pro sporting events is off the charts so if a quarter of it can be recycled, why not? What difference does it make which trash can you throw your Bud Heavy bottle in?

Yes, the design of the cans is definitely lame… but I think their overall goal should be praised. I can see that not everyone agrees with me, but I’m pretty proud of what the Phils have done with their “Red Goes Green” program. World Champion baseball on the field and improved practices in the park… can you really argue with that?

By the way, Will.H – You’re right, there’s too much energy going into making this recycling trash can! It’s a good thing regular trash cans are made from happiness and delivered in trucks that run on bubbles!
ill Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:14 am
They should cut out the middle man and just make keg-stand stations around the ballpark. No waste, whatsoever.

Keg Stands for the Environment!
Tartan69 Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:46 am
+100 for the Carlin link ‘Tard. One of his all-time great (and accurate) rants.
Tug Haines Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:19 am
They could take the money they spent on that lame can and hire more chicks as hot as the one that was taking our beer bottles at the Angels game when Ervin Santana destroyed us.
MP Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Well if the goal was to get people talking about saving the environment, Phil the Can has certainly achieved his purpose.
Chris K Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Phil the Can is the Worst
Matt Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:52 am
i wanna give phil the can a golden shower.
will.H Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:52 am
ill,
i work for a recycling/trash company. i see everything that goes into recycling including bulk trash all the way down to a can of natty light. most people only see recycling as putting milk cartons to the curb and a plastic bud light bottles in a cool container at a ball park. I might be stupid, but i definitely didnt overthink the issue. large trucks that harm the environment is a backwards way to transport recycled goods that are suposed to help the environment. thats in simple terms.

pat m,
you obviously have an agenda. george bush didnt invent pollution. my guess is, you drive a car. your extreme smokey the bear attitude only breads resentment towards angry environmentalists and gives the cause a bad name. youre doing more harm than good. get laid.
Mike P Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I’m all about recycling, but this talking trash can is stupid. Just put recycling cans next to the trash cans and put signs over them that say “bottles,” “cans,” etc., so people know where to pitch their trash. If you want to make a big deal about it, put an announcement over the PA address during the first inning with the players talking about why recycling is important. All a talking trash can does is start these sorts of ridiculous arguments.
Chris K Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Pat M is the Worst
Pat M Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
will H,
you work at a trash company.
enough said.
will.H Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
pat m, contact a trash comany and ask the them how many guys in the office drive a lincoln. your joke doesnt apply, little dude.

your weakling father didnt teach you the art of making a quality snub?
Chris K Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
The Pat M’s of the world we lead to the downfall of this country. Just ignorant.
Hummer Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
@ Tony

too bad that you wont get a chance to do that
Get me Outta Cleveland and back to Philly Says:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
I think we should all start over and just find a common ground…….boobs…..and of course the WORLD FUCKIN CHAMPS.
Gigi Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 1:58 am
am i the only one rooting for pollution?

Y’all can Kyo-to hell….
ill Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 7:02 am
@will.H,
I worked at a landfill for a period of my life. I know some of those guys did no drive Lincoln. (Lincolns? seriously? Say Mercedes or BMW next time.) But I am not going to get into a discussion about saving the world on here. Yea, the trucks and the entire infrastructure of the business needs to change, but why shoot down anything that could add to the progression. If you have a trash can that appeals to children, let it ride. It can’t hurt anymore than the ignorant drunks who are throwing their Dollar Dogs onto the field. CBP is a family place, not a strip club. If you want that, go over to Sshow and Tell. There are no talking trash cans there…except the strippers.
will.H Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 11:57 am
ill, i think you’ve blended everyone elses opinion and made it mine. working at a landfill, you have to know roll off container businesses make money, even though that isnt the issue. plus, bmw’s are for mid 20’s mainline hotshots and 45 year old frustrated housewives. on the issue of recycling, you realize all the stress that goes into transporting recycled goods and how many middle men get their hands and make money off of it. with all the heavy machines, triaxels and staight trucks that handle everything, the evironment isnt coming out on top, just the profiteers. you’re substituting air pollution for less land pollution. I dont think recylcing is bad; i think its deceptive. most people that dont work in that line of business think the earth will be better in 2020 because they let waste managment pick up a bin full of wine bottles. its a pinprick and i wont insult your intelligence and act like you’re not aware. is a little bit better than nothing? yep ill agree, but why put a bandaid on an infected cut.. its only dressing. ill support real strides, not gimmicks. this is a gimmick.
Here Come Da Judge Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 3:54 pm
@ Pat M
all your crying about the environment makes you a hippie thus the fact you are a hippie means you suck. when im at CBP and see a guy making love to these stupid trash cans i’ll know its you. i bet your whole house is made out of these new environmentally friendly urinal cakes.

i’m with you HDYSR
SD Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Really? We’re still talking about a trash can?
Tug Haines Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Honesty.

It’s such a lonely word.

Everyone is so untrue.
PhillyCubano Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 7:11 pm
In more important news Chan Ho Park won the 5th starter job, like I called way back when we signed him. I looked for a couple minutes to find it but there were like 2 tags for him.

I said something to the extent of “Park is gonna be a starter and be siiiiiiiick”

Someone made an argument which then i backed up by the stats of his 4 whole starts last year.

SUCK IT
PhillyCubano Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 7:12 pm
http://zozone.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/03/park_wins_fifth_job_phils_cont.html#comments
How do you spell retard? Says:
March 31st, 2009 at 7:19 pm
@SD

I get to the important issues.

@PhillyCubano

I’m not going to say what I thought Ho Park’s status would be with the team back when they signed him, but +5 starter’s spot to you.
Hummer Says:
April 1st, 2009 at 12:06 am
@ SD

a TALKING trash can
Tug Haines Says:
April 1st, 2009 at 12:10 am
Honesty.

Is hardly ever heard.

And mostly what I need from you.
RaysTheRoof Says:
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
RE Comment # 24:

I’m fairly certain YOU’RE the reason the rest of the world hates America.
will.H Says:
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:21 pm
tug haines, terrific billy reference.

raystheroof, yes.
Lauren Says:
April 14th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I’m appauled at your words in reference to the GM of the Park. Mr. Reynolds is one is the most efficient and hard working GM’s on Global Spectrum’s team. He puts in countless hours of work, managing everything about that facility, and deserves repect for that. That “retard” as you call him has a Masters in Sports Facility Management, and graduated with Magna Cum Laude honors.

As an employee of the Park, I have nothing but the utmost repspect for him, and your reference to him was reckless and misinformed. Do your homework before you start attacking executives publicly.
Paul Says:
April 14th, 2009 at 11:50 am
@lauren appalled* …..and, STFU–he’s an over-glorified janitor. and “retard” is the pseudonym for the AUTHOR, dimwit…not your precious CEM (chief-executive-maid). if you’re so sensitive about it, you’re reading the wrong blog, sister.