A hex on Jerry Crasnick! A HEX! Where does he get the balls. A sampling from his ESPN.com article:
When it comes to sophisticated insights and pithy observations, Phillies manager Charlie Manuel is no George Will. He’s more like George Won’t.
George Won’t? That’s hilarious. That’s Skip Bayless or Jay Mariotti caliber of journalism. But the heresy continues:
“I believe in momentum,” Manuel said. “I believe in — what do you call it? — attitude, charisma, and when you come to the ballpark everything is OK. Everybody is in a good mood and upbeat. Everybody’s happy. People ain’t walking around sulking because they ain’t making enough money or something happened at the house.”
Manuel probably meant to say “chemistry” instead of “charisma,” but we’ll let the verbal lapse slide. Even when the man gropes for the proper words, he seems to have a knack for coming up with the right answers.
Gropes for answers? The only thing Chuck gropes is titties. And lots of ‘em. Probably your mom’s. Cause Chuck does it like that. He just grabs them shits. He doesn’t give a fuck. And if Charlie meant chemistry, then from now on ‘charisma’ means chemistry. End of story. He too busy squeezin’ titties to bother with the meanings of words.
Well, that’s the last sober post from the ‘Tard ’til Monday. I’m off to insert last weekend’s drinking into two nights (birthday weekend, cute devil-girl fucking with my brain [Clare? Lynniemac? Back me up, lady bloggers!], nothing else to do at school).
Daddy’s gone for the weekend, so expect NSFW posts(Tubgirl tag? Snorgtees girl sex tape?) and general deviance from yours truly and Chamo. Mila Kunis boobies after the jump.
8 Comments on “Don’t [Mess] with Chuck, Inane Ramblings, and Titties”
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September 19th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Ah… ‘tard… You are truly a breath of fresh blogging air… Some how you can write a whole post, mention titties and still tie it all together… I have an idea… You should liveblog your weekend for us… Drunk and all… Who’s with me?
And sorry for all the ellipses… It’s just my style…
September 19th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
You forgot this awesome piece of complete and utter shitstain assault on the English language:
The perception of Manuel as likable, easygoing Uncle Charlie resonated this week after Milwaukee fired Ned Yost, in part because his managerial style was fostering an air of tension in the clubhouse. The next time “Charlie Manuel” and “tension” appear in the same sentence, it will be a first.
Oh yeah, it will be the first time they appear together in a sentence when they just appeared together two times in your two fucking sentences? Moron. Try third time. Fucktard.
September 19th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
@Robert
I could blog Saturday/Sunday when I’m truly loaded. I’m sure it would be lovely, and I’d have like 50 emails from Meech followed by a letter of resignation Monday.
September 19th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
great post – I went full guffaw when you said that charlies too busy squeezin titties to worry about the meanings of words…I only wish I was drinking milk at the time.
September 20th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Hmm…sounds like she’s fucking with your brain to me. Only explanation I can come up with. Since it’s your birthday I won’t even complain about the mental image you created of Uncle Cholly’s hands squeezin titties. Blech.
Happy Birthday, ‘Tard.
September 21st, 2008 at 4:07 am
“That’s Skip Bayless or Jay Mariotti caliber of journalism”
I haven’t laughed that hard all day.
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Is the picture of Mila’s boobs in Forgetting Sarah Marshall real or a fake? Seemed very…anticlimatic.
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
@Tom
NSFW!NSFW!NSFW!NSFW!NSFW!
Are you referring to her recent movie Boot Camp?
http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=260415&highlight=mila+kunis
Or these
http://www.egotastic.com/entertainment/celebrities/mila-kunis/mila-kunis-topless-pictures-002522
Probably fake, or I would have heard about it (the Fightins’ token pervert).