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Sep
26
2008
Albert Pujols is not Your MVP
Posted by How do you spell retard? at 2:36 pm ET 6 Comments

Normally, I can’t stand MVP talk, but fuck it. Given the St. Louis ownership of the blogosphere, it has to be said.

Albert is NOT your MVP. The Cardinals suck (even with Kyle Lohse!). Yeah, I know he doesn’t strike out as much as Ryan “Black Lava*” Howard, but he did ground into four more double plays than the big guy.

I know there isn’t much of an argument for Howard over Pujols, but come on. Come on. They’re in FOURTH FUCKIN’ PLACE (begin whining about “Well, sir if they were in the NL West…”. Fuck your mother, they’re in the NL Central.). Titties after the jump (I love you, Katy Perry).

I’m outty 2000; begin trippy weekend activities. *oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz*

*The ‘Tard lays internet copyright claim to the nickname “Black Lava” for Ryan Howard. See, he’s a black guy, is powerful, yet slow, like lava. It’s the antithesis of “White Lightning”. And it’s a fuckin’ great song by a great fuckin’ band, and I think Howard should switch his batting music to this 14 minute Norwegian epic (Unfortunately, the full version is no longer on Youtube).

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6 Comments on “Albert Pujols is not Your MVP”

  1. Gonzo Says:

    Titties after the jump

    My favorite words to read on this site.

  2. GBGB Says:

    If Pujols wins the MVP this year, can you mention that he is a whiner who (if he is not a hypocrite) should not accept the award? After all, after coming in second to Black Lava in 2006, Pujols said: “I see it this way: Someone who doesn’t take his team to the playoffs doesn’t deserve to win the MVP.” http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/cardinals/2006-11-29-pujols-mvp_x.htm

  3. chris Says:

    you’re a giant dbag, pujols will win it, who would you rather have on your team? dipshit…

  4. How do you spell retard? Says:

    I’d say I’m a moderately sized d-bag (160-170 lbs or so). At my leanest, I can become a lightweight d-bag.
    The Cardinals weren’t in second place, they were in FOURTH FUCKIN’ PLACE!!!

  5. Funny Says:

    Well hello there I laughed at this because it was written nearly a year ago and im sure you are eating a huge meal of your words now.

    The cards and Alb are at the top of it allll. Albert is a great guy too, shut up about your little statements why dont you go be a major leauge baseball player? Damn jealous punks.

    hahaha, bye.
    BIRDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. D. Whitmore Says:

    cool beans

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