The Fightins'
Posted by Dash Treyhorn at 10:21 pm ET 28 Comments

Listen to Scott Franzke and L.A. call the final out on the radio, Courtesy of Ace Twitterer ERhudy

And watch a first hand account of Roy’s no-no, courtesy of reader Eric.

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Posted by Dash Treyhorn at 9:22 pm ET 53 Comments

In his first career postseason start, Roy Halladay allowed one walk, no hits and no runs to the Cincinnati Reds, becoming only the second player ever to throw a no hitter in the playoffs to lead the Phillies to a 4-0 win over the Reds in Game One of the National League Division Series. It was the first no-hitter since Don Larsen’s perfect game in the 1956 World Series.

Photo courtesy of Reuters

After toiling for 12 years in Toronto, Halladay made a splash in Philadelphia with a 21-win season, a perfect game, a trip to the postseason and likely, a second Cy Young.

And just when things couldn’t get any better for Doc, he threw a no hitter in the playoffs. Against one of the N.L.’s best offensive teams. In his first career postseason start.

How is that for a debut on the big stage?

Needing only 104 pitches to cut through 28 batters, Halladay sat down eight via the strike out thanks to incredible movement on his breaking pitches and pinpoint control on his fastball. Even when the Reds managed to made contact, it was minimal, with the hardest hit ball of game coming on in the top of the third when pitcher Travis Wood hit a line drive that Jayson Werth was able to track down.

Roy set the tone with a 1-2-3 first inning, and was quickly given a run to work with when Shane Victorino hit a one out double, stole third, and then scored on Chase Utley’s sacrifice fly to put the Phillies on the board.

It was literally all the support that Roy would need.

Not wanting to be overshadowed by the offense, Roy struck with the bat in the bottom of the second, when he sent the first pitch he saw into left field to plate Carlos Ruiz to give the Phillies a 2-0 lead over Edinson Volquez.

After a walk to Jimmy Rollins to load the bases, Shane Victorino roped a single to center that scored both Wilson Valdez and Halladay, ending Volquez’s night and any chances the Reds had at taking the first game of the series.

It was all pitching from there, as the Phillies needed very little offense, with Shane Victorino contributing most of it with a 2-for-4 effort to continue his excellent postsesaon play.

And just like that, the Phillies are right back in the groove with a series lead over the Reds and that all important first postseason win.

Doc was right. It is only gonna get funner.

The Phillies will send Roy Oswalt to the mound in Game Two of the series on Friday night, where he will face off against Bronson Arroyo.

Posted by How do you spell retard? at 3:51 pm ET 12 Comments

*Peruse not so much as a preview, but more as a “we’re Philly, fuck you other cities” evaluation.

Cincinnati’s biggest claim to fame is being the second most well known (grammar rape, mein apologies) city in Ohio. The city Cincinnati is runner up to is most known for being one half of every red-blooded American’s favorite name for the sexual act of shitting on another person’s inviting chest. Essentially, Cincinnati is the runner up to tit shit.

I will make the bold (and by bold, I mean meaningless and instantly forgettable) prediction (author’s note: fuck predictions) that the Reds will be embarrassed by the Phils. Tyler Clementi-level of embarrassment. Let’s make some comparisons regarding why Cincinnati blows, and Philly is cool.

-Cincinnati: Joe Morgan. Philadelphia: Chase Utley.

Now, I’m not the biggest Chase Utley fan. Is he a great  2nd baseman? Yes, but the guy has the personality of a bag of parsnips. I prefer to buy the shirtseys of Black Lava and Jimmy Rollins (Chooch is a tough find), because I’m not a stupid fuckin’ white girl from the suburbs who wants Chase Utley’s boring schlong. But Chase wins this battle, because Joe Morgan is fuckin’ intolerable. Next to Steve Phillips, he’s the most irritating baseball announcer on the planet. I’ll invest in the Cory Lidle School of Aviation before Ilisten to Joe Morgan. Motherfucker is dumb.

-Cincinnati was named one of the top 10 cities that rock by Esquire

First of all, fuck no. Cincinnati is not exactly New York or California, or even Tampa Bay (bad ass death metal scene). Cincinnati doesn’t fucking rock. It’s Cincinnati. Secondly, if Esquire magazine thinks your city rocks, your city is probably a little queer (Nickelback queer, not Freddie Mercury queer. Freddie Mercury was cool)when it comes to the rocking out department. Esquire thinks your cool. That’s like being compared to one of the fags from Entourage. It’s just sad.

-Dan Patrick, 98 Degrees, Seabiscuit, Charles Manson

In the order of most to least evil, these are people from Cincinnati. I’ll take Mumia over 98 Degress any day. Advantage: Philadelphia

-The Phillies beat the Reds on July 6, 2009 by a margin of 21 runs, handing them their largest defeat ever. Suck it.

This ends excruciatingly extensive statistical and factual baseball analysis.

Speaking of suckling, here are some fat tits:

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Breaking news from Citizens Bank Park: Placido Polanco will not be in the starting lineup for Game One of the NLDS against the Cincinnati Reds. According to Delaware County Times beat writer Ryan Lawrence, the injury is not related to Polanco’s elbow, but his back. At this time, the severity of the injury is unknown, as is Polly’s status for Game Two on Friday. [Phollowing The Phillies]

Posted by Chris at 1:06 pm ET 358 Comments


5:07PM on TBS


Roy Halladay (21-10) 2.44 ERA

PHILLIES: Mr Perfect himself, Roy Halladay, will take the mound today to kick off Doctober and completely destroy the Reds’ hopes of advancing to the next round. Look for him to freeze hitters so hard with his nasty movement on his pitches that it makes the Reds batters void their bowels, making for a messy home plate. It’s only gonna get funner.

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Edinson Volquez (4-3) 4.31 ERA

REDS: Uhm, he looks like the love child of Whoopi Goldberg and Antoine Dodson. Excuse me while I give my interpretation of what the Phillies will be saying to Volquez like in the above video:

Well, obviously we have a RAPIST IN CITIZENS BANK PARK. We’re climbing in our batter’s box, we’re snatching your pitches up tryna rape you so you need to hide ya fans, hide ya manager, and hide ya players cause we rapin everyone out hya.

Lineup: Rollins SS, Victorino CF, Utley 2B, Howard 1B, Werth RF, Ibanez LF, Ruiz C, Valdez 3B, Halladay P.

Yes, Polanco isn’t starting…

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Posted by Dash Treyhorn at 10:32 am ET 23 Comments

The venerable waxed about this earlier today, so forgive my double dipping. But where he lacked in a run down of the starting lineups and bullpens, I lack in pictures of Edinson Volquez brandishing a weapon while wearing a pair of plaid pants. Symbiosis, meet The Fightins.

Nonetheless, I’ll forge on with my take on the National League Division series.

In a few hours, the Philadelphia Phillies host the Cincinnati Reds to kick off their fourth straight postseason appearance, one that comes after an injury riddled season that somehow ended with a Major League-best 97 wins, three Aces in the rotation, and home field advantage throughout the playoffs.

But for the next four weeks, it’s not so important how they got there, but what they can do once they get there. Let’s take a look.

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Posted by at 6:30 am ET 40 Comments


2010 National League Divisional Series — Phillies vs. Reds

This is sorta becoming old-hat for us now, isn’t it?

If I would have told you five years ago that you were about to experience 4 straight NL East titles, at least 2 NL Pennants, and at least 1 World Series victory, you probably would’ve shit yourself.

Now look at you.

Your favorite squad has the most dominant rotation in the playoffs, home field advantage throughout, and the best odds to win the World Series. But before we get ahead of ourselves and start projecting possible parade dates (I’ll say Tuesday, November 2nd), let us focus on the task at hand — the Cincinnati Reds.

The Reds got to this point by outlasting the St. Louis Cardinals and taking the NL Central crown with a respectable 91-71 record lead by MVP front-runner, Joey Votto. Sounds scary!

After the jump, I’ll attempt to relieve any doubt you may have in your mind that the Phillies will win this series in a timely manner and head back to the NLCS for a third straight year.


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Bring on the Reds.

Music Credits: Z-Trip feat. Clutch – “Doin’ It Like This”

Posted by at 9:11 pm ET 2 Comments

Tickets here. Who need tickets?


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Posted by at 1:57 pm ET 93 Comments


Hey kids, who’s ready for some NLDS action? Me too!

Now here’s a handy-dandy little primer courtesy of a press release. And don’t worry, it’s been kinda quiet around here, but we’ve all been resting our various injuries so we’re full-strength heading into the playoffs. Expect some more posting tonight and a BARRAGE of posting tomorrow in preparation for the Phillies upcoming three fo’ fo’ march through the postseason. Chris, Ryan, fuckthemets (remember that guy?) & I will be down there tomorrow tailgating prior to the game, if you’d like to know our whereabouts, look us up on twitter and find out.

That Tom McCarthy picture up there from ’08′s NLDS pre-game bash is courtesy of this guy’s Flickr. This year’s (bash & outcome) will be pretty much exactly the same.

Check out the game highlights for Game 1 of the NLDS at Citizens Bank Park.

10:00 a.m.
Majestic Clubhouse Store opens with new postseason merchandise and the Division Series Magazine, hot off the presses. Fans can also shop online at

2:00 p.m.
Phillies Postseason Party begins on Citizens Bank Way. Features music by Mr. Greengenes and plenty of fun and games for all ages. Highlights include an inflatable obstacle course for children, face painters, an extreme rock wall climb and a Velcro race. Fans will also be able to purchase food and beverages, as well as new postseason merchandise.

2:35 p.m.
Ashburn Alley opens.

3:05 p.m.
All gates open. Rally towels for all fans, compliments of StubHub.

3:30 p.m.
Phillies Postseason Rally on Citizens Bank Way! Special guests include former Phillies Scott Eyre and Greg “The Bull” Luzinski, Comcast SportsNet analyst Ricky Bottalico, the Phillie Phanatic and Phillies Ballgirls. Music provided by Mr. Greengenes; Scott Palmer, Phillies Director of Public Affairs, will emcee.

4:40 p.m.
On-field pre-game ceremony begins.

4:44 p.m.
Introduction of Cincinnati Reds.

4:48 p.m.
Introduction of Philadelphia Phillies.

4:54 p.m.
National Anthem: Sung by country singer Catherine Raney, niece of Tim McGraw, who will be representing the Tug McGraw Foundation.

4:56 p.m.
Color Guard introduced.

4:58 p.m.
Ceremonial First Pitch: Phillies alumnus Scott Eyre.

5:07 p.m.
Play ball! Phillies vs. Reds game begins.

5th Inning
“Lady PhaPha” makes her postseason debut.

7th Inning
God Bless America: Sung by national recording artist Lauren Hart, a Philadelphia native whose songs have been heard on television series and soap operas.

TV: TBS with announcers Brian Anderson and Joe Simpson, and reporter David Aldridge. Radio: WPHT 1210 AM will feature one-hour pre- and post-game coverage hosted by Jim Jackson; Scott Franzke, Larry Andersen, Chris Wheeler and Gary Matthews will be behind the radio microphones; WUBA 1480 AM: Spanish Beisbol Network with hosts Bill Kulik and Danny Martinez. Also live on

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R.I.P Harry Kalas